Chapter 15: The One Thing I Shouldn't Have Touched
Cassian's Point of View
I didn't go to school today.
Not because I was avoiding her.
Fuck no.
I just needed to breathe.
To think.
To get the image of her lips—bruised and parted beneath mine—out of my goddamn head.
But it was useless. Everything reminded me of her.
The sun hitting the window like the glow that kissed her cheek when she looked at me. The sharp way my heartbeat kicked at the sound of her laugh echoing in my skull. The ghost of her body against mine—legs around me, lips burning, fingers tangled in my shirt like she'd rather drown in me than breathe.
I fucked up.
I shouldn't have kissed her like that.
Didn't ask. Didn't pause. Just took like she belonged to me.
She doesn't.
She never did.
But gods… I wanted her to.
And maybe that's the worst part.
I kissed her like I'd earned it. Like I had a right.
What if that was her first kiss? What if I fucking stole something from her she didn't give?
"You're the kind they fuck to forget someone else."
My own goddamn words echoing back to choke me.
I'm a piece of shit.
I know it.
But when I kissed her—I wasn't trying to forget anyone. I was trying to remember what it felt like to want something and not feel fucking numb.
She made me feel alive again.
I thought that would piss me off.
It didn't.
It scared the hell out of me.
Because she's in love with him. Alervon. Mr. Emotionless, pretty-boy death-glare. The guy who looks at her like she's a mission, not a girl. Like he'd slit his own throat before admitting he feels anything for her.
And I get it.
I do.
He's dangerous. Cold. Tragic. Girls eat that shit up.
But I saw the way she looked at me last night.
Like she hated how much she wanted me.
Like part of her knew she wasn't supposed to.
And I know I can never unkiss her.
Can never un-feel her gasping against me like I was something she craved but couldn't explain.
"You're not the kind of girl someone wants…"
Fuck. Lies. All of it.
I want her.
I want to wreck her in the most honest way.
Not use her. Not forget her. But hold her down long enough for her to see I'm not just anger and violence. That there's something in me that chooses her, even when it shouldn't.
But how do I tell her that, now?
How do I own the kiss when I crossed a line?
She deserved more than heat and impulse.
She deserved to be asked.
"Cass."
My sister's voice snapped through the silence. Soft, quiet—but sharp enough to cut.
She stood by the door, arms crossed. Same white hair. Same storm in her eyes.
"You're brooding," she said.stepping into the room like she didn't need permission. "That's dangerous."
I snorted. "Coming from someone who got cornered by three wolves last week for breathing too loud."
"They weren't bullying me," she said flatly. "They were bored. And idiots."
"Still."
She sat beside me, pulling one leg up to rest on the bed. "You kissed her, didn't you?"
I didn't answer.
Didn't need to.
My silence screamed.
"Did she kiss you back?"
I nodded, once. "Yeah. But I shouldn't have. I didn't ask."
She stared at me. "Did she stop you?"
"No."
"But you think she regrets it?"
I rubbed the back of my neck. "I don't know. Maybe."
"You care?"
I laughed bitterly. "More than I should."
She looked at me for a long moment, like she was measuring something. "Then fight for her."
I froze.
"She's not some prize," I said.
"No," she agreed. "But she's not his, either."
"She's herself."
"Exactly. Which means she gets to choose. And you—you big idiot—need to let her see you before you lose the chance."
I didn't reply.
Because I already knew.
I knew that if I didn't figure out how to be the version of myself that deserved her…
Then I'd lose her to someone colder.
Someone who'd never love her like I would.
Even if I never got the chance to say it.
"''
Auriella's POV
I shouldn't have come to school.
Not because I was sick.
But because I was crazy.
Completely, undeniably, gods-damned insane.
Cassian kissed me.
No—I kissed him back.
And now I was walking through the hallways like a walking sin with lip gloss and too much guilt.
Lucan was my boyfriend. Lucan, with his warm hands and soft words. The boy who held my hand during my panic attacks and kissed my forehead in front of the council like he didn't care.
But Cassian…
Cassian didn't kiss my forehead.
He kissed me like I was the very thing keeping him alive.
Like the air he didn't know he needed until it tasted like my name.
And Alervon?
Stars, I couldn't even begin to untangle what that man did to me. Just one look from him and I forgot my own name, my blood screamed, and my knees debated crumbling.
It was like I was caught between a wildfire and a snowstorm, and neither would burn me gently.
"Somebody's looking like they just had a wet dream about a certain dangerous boy," a voice sing-sang beside me.
Luna.
Of course.
I didn't even get a chance to fake composure. She had that smug look on her face, hair bouncing like it knew all my secrets.
"Shut up," I muttered.
She gasped. "You did! Oh my Goddess, Auri—you did something. I can smell the guilt. And maybe… a little orgasm energy?"
"Luna—"
"I want details. Right. Now."
I dragged her into the empty side hallway near the music room and pressed my back against the cool wall like it could freeze the heat on my face.
"I kissed Cassian," I whispered.
Her jaw dropped.
"You what?"
I exhaled. "I didn't mean to. I mean, it just… happened. He came to my room last night—drenched, pissed off, and asking me what the hell I did to him. And then…" I trailed off.
Luna was clutching her imaginary pearls.
"Gods above. Was it hot?"
I shot her a glare. She smirked.
"So hot you didn't even remember your name?"
I covered my face with my hands. "I'm a terrible person. Luca's—"
"Luca's great," she cut in. "But Lucan doesn't look at you like you're the reason his world spins off its axis. But Cassian girl I've seen the way he lokked at you during PE… girl, he looks at you like he hates how much he wants you."
I peeked between my fingers. "That's not even the worst part."
"Oh, there's worse?" Her grin widened.
I groaned. "The training session yesterday… it was with both of them. Cassian and Alervon. In the same ring."
"Sweet Moon Mother." She was fanning herself now. "Okay, so when do I start writing your memoir? 'Caught Between Two Sex Gods: A How-To Manual'?"
I laughed despite myself. Then sobered. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."
Luna leaned against the wall next to me. "Okay. No jokes now. Real talk."
I met her eyes. Her teasing was gone—replaced by that steady, sisterly look she only used when it mattered.
"Who do you have feelings for?"
The hallway suddenly felt smaller. Tighter. Like the walls wanted to hear my answer too.
"I…" My throat dried. "I don't know."
Luna waited.
"I feel something for Luca. He's safe. He's kind. But Cassian…"
My voice cracked.
"He makes me feel alive. Like fire and fury and everything I'm not supposed to be—but somehow am."
"And Alervon?"
I didn't even have words.
Just a silence thick with heat and chaos.
"He sees me," I whispered. "Not the spoiled Alpha's daughter. Not the golden-haired wolf princess. He sees through me. Like he's been to hell and back and still found a reason to look again."
Luna nodded, biting her lip. "Well, shit."
"Yeah," I breathed. "Exactly."
Then she grinned. "Wanna ditch class, grab iced coffee, and pretend you're not in a full-blown supernatural love triangle?"
"Gods, yes."
[TO BE CONTINUED…]