LIFE ISMEANINGLESS IF YOU HAVE NOTHING.NO PERPOSE, NO PASSION, NO ONE TO SHARE IT with. Just an endless expanse of emptiness. I know because I've lived it.
I grew up in a world that seemed to be constantly struggling.my parents' love slowly withered away, leaving only shattered dreams. One vivid memory huants me: I was six sitting on the stairs, listening to there hushed arguments.my heart racing, I played for it to stop but it never did.
The day my dad left, I felt like I was punched in the gut. My mom's tears, her shattered expression-its etched in my mind forever. As I grew older the truth crept up on me like a thief. I was the reason for their divorce. The product of my mother's extramarital affair. To my mother, I was nothing more than a burden, the reason for her unhappiness
"You're the reason he left. You're the I'm miserable. you're the mistake that ruined my life."
Her blame fueled my self-doubt. I felt like a burden, a constant reminder of her failure. At school, I was a total nobody. I mean, we're talking about epic loser status. I got picked on, pushed around, and laughed at. My athletic capabilities? Zero. My hobbies were socially unacceptable. I was a total zero, a blank state with no redeeming qualities.
But then, there was CHIKA KARUIZAWA. She was my senpai and the most popular girl in school, with a smile that could light up a room and a laugh that could charm the birds from the trees. We bonded over our shared love of manga and anime, spending hours discussing the latest episodes and debating the merit of our favorite characters. We were total otakus.
But despite our shared interests, I couldn't shake the feeling that we had nothing more in common. I mean she was popular, beautiful, and talented. While I was...well, me. A total loser. I felt like I was just pretending to be someone I'm not, that sooner or later,Chika Karuizawa would realize her mistake and dump me.
The academic pressure mounted, and my grades suffered. My mom's disappointment stung. Every report card felt like a fresh failure. I made her life so miserable that she tried to…. [my mind shudders] …. harm me. I still bear the scare.
Eventually she left me when I turned eighteen, saying that I was now old enough to fend for my-self. To be honest it really shattered my heart and I spiraled into depression. I spent my days locked up in the little apartment we stayed. I dropped out of school, unable to face the world anymore. Chika karuizawa tried reaching out to me but I pushed her away. I didn't want her sympathy.
Eventually, I run out of money. I couldn't pay the rent, and to make matters worse, mom left me with a huge debt to pay. The landlord demanded I leave. I tried to plead with him, but he laughed in my face
"you're just a useless kid," He spat. "you're not even worth the trouble."
I felt a surge of anger, but it was quickly replaced by despair. I packed my bags and left the apartment, not knowing where I was going or what I was going to do. As I walked down the street, I felt I felt like I was walking to my own funeral. I had no hope, no future. I was just a lost soul, wondering the earth.
And then I saw it. A truck, speeding down the street, heading straight for me, I didn't move, didn't care. I just stood there, waiting for it to hit me. And then everything went black.