"Yay! We're finally going to the same college. At least, that's what he told me.
No, no, I don't want any more discussions. Ugh, this is what I wanted too."
But somewhere deep inside, a tiny voice whispered doubts she didn't want to acknowledge.
Maybe I don't actually want to go to the same college as him.
The thought unsettled her, making her grip her phone tighter. She had dreamed of this moment—of them experiencing college together, of having Kabir by her side as they navigated this new world. Then why did a part of her feel... uneasy?
Maybe he'll try to control me. Maybe I won't get the freedom I crave.
The realization hit her like a wave, crashing over the excitement she had felt just moments ago. She loved Kabir—she knew that much. But love wasn't just about being together all the time, was it?
She sighed, flopping onto her bed, staring at the ceiling. Am I being selfish?
The thought lingered in her mind, refusing to fade, as the reality of what was coming slowly began to sink in.
Meera was lost in thought when the doorbell rang, snapping her out of her spiral. Her heart skipped a beat as she heard her mother's voice call out from the kitchen.
"Meera, someone's at the door. Can you get it?"
She pushed herself off the bed, her mind still tangled in a thousand thoughts about Kabir and the uncertainty of going to college together. Taking a deep breath, she tried to shake off the feeling of being overwhelmed and walked toward the door.
When she opened it, her best friend Aditi stood there with a bright smile—a relief in the chaos of her mind. Meera's heart fluttered at the sight of her, and a grin spread across her face. Without a word, she reached for Aditi's hand and pulled her upstairs toward her room, eager to let her thoughts spill out.
Her mother called again from the kitchen, "Aditi, dear, make sure you eat something before you leave!" But neither of them responded. The pull of their friendship was stronger, and for a moment, the heaviness in Meera's chest faded.
Once inside her room, Meera closed the door behind them. Aditi took a seat on the bed while Meera leaned against her desk, gazing out the window, her mind elsewhere.
"Meera," Aditi said gently, breaking the silence, "I know you're going through something. I can see it in your eyes. What's going on?"
Meera hesitated, biting her lip. The confusion—the mix of fear and desire—was choking her. She wasn't even sure where to begin. She had thought she knew what she wanted, but now, with Kabir planning to attend the same college, everything felt uncertain.
"I... I don't know, Aditi. I feel stuck," she finally admitted, her voice soft. "I thought I wanted to go to the same college as Kabir, but now... I don't know. Part of me feels like I'm giving up my freedom. I feel like I can't breathe when I think about it."
Aditi watched her quietly. She had known Meera long enough to recognize when she was conflicted—but this felt deeper. This wasn't just about college. This was about identity and the fear of losing it.
"You're scared," Aditi said simply.
Meera nodded, feeling the weight of those words.
"But why?" Aditi asked. "Why do you feel this way?"
Meera swallowed hard. "I've always been independent, Aditi. I've always made my own choices, followed my own path. But now, with Kabir... I'm scared I'll lose myself. What if I start depending on him too much? What if I don't have space anymore? I love him, I really do, but I don't want to lose me in the process. And that thought—it terrifies me."
Aditi stayed silent for a moment, letting Meera's words settle between them. She knew how hard it was for Meera to admit these fears aloud.
"You're not the only one who's ever felt this way," she finally said. "Love doesn't have to mean giving up your individuality. It's natural to fear losing yourself, especially when you care deeply for someone. But you have to trust that love can be something that expands you—not confines you."
Meera furrowed her brow. "But how do I do that? How do I keep my freedom while being with someone I love?"
Aditi leaned forward, her voice softer but full of conviction. "You talk to him, Meera. You tell Kabir how you feel. If he loves you, he'll want you to be your best self—not someone he controls. You're allowed to set boundaries. You're allowed to say, 'I need time,' or 'I need space.' That doesn't mean you love him any less."
Meera closed her eyes, Aditi's words striking deeper than she expected. She had been so afraid of what Kabir might think that she hadn't even considered how much of it depended on being honest.
"But what if he doesn't understand?" she whispered. "What if he thinks I don't want to be with him?"
Aditi placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Meera, love isn't about sacrificing your entire self for someone else. It's about growing together. If Kabir truly loves you, he'll understand your need for independence. And if you're still figuring it out, that's okay too. But you have to talk to him."
The fog in Meera's mind began to lift. Maybe the answer wasn't as complicated as she had made it. Maybe it really was just about trust and communication.
"I think... I think I need to talk to him," she said softly, mostly to herself.
Aditi smiled. "That's a good start. You don't need all the answers today. One step at a time, okay?"
Meera smiled back, the knot in her chest slowly loosening. "Thanks, Aditi. I really needed this."
Aditi grinned, standing. "What are friends for? Now come on, your mom called me down for food, and I'm starving!"
As the two girls made their way downstairs, Meera felt lighter than she had in days. Her path wasn't entirely clear yet, but she knew she was moving in the right direction.
She didn't have to lose herself to love. She just had to learn how to love with all of herself—freedom and all.