It was noon during classes in Tokyo College, only the air conditioner was humming. Students were taking a recess but inside a classroom it was quiet and accompanied with the faint droning of students talking around. Haruki Takashi, a mechanical engineering student at 19 years with black hair, sat alone at his desk. Resting his head on the desk, lost in thought, his eyes reveal a whole world tired to JUST GIVE UP.
His day dreaming got interrupted when the door opened breezy with two other entering students. Fujimaru with relaxed attitude always showed up with easy friendly smile while sharp tongues like Hiroshi were known for balistic dry humor out of thin air were labelled as mean guys.Both of them made their way towards Haruki's ramshackle desk filled wit some rubbish organized books.
"Get up man! Why are you resting?" It was clear that Hiroshi's worry combined impatient tone mixed blended into ear tingle feeling half judgement half amusement.
Hiroshi was already rolling his eyes. "Come on man, I thought men are like this at the very least. Why are you like this?"
Haruki lifted his head and met Hiroshi's gaze using both of his hands to act like a curtain. "I'm just resting, no need for food."
Fujimaru clearly wasn't having it. He pulled Haruki's hand and yanked him from the desk forcefully. "Nope, we're going together."
With clear reluctance, Haruki began walking alongside them. As he walked with them to the classroom he glanced outside wondering if the entire campus was as busy as he thought it was. There were students around his age and some much older than him who were talking, laughing and generally enjoying their break. Some groups formed while a few pairs strolled around hand in hand with their partners and lovers. Then Haruki think.
"Why are so many people happy? If this is the case, then are they pretending to be happy? He thought. A whispering voice inside him said, They are just putting on what's called an act. What good is being sad now? You won't grow, so there are you. You are always sad, and at the end of the day you are a loser.
Haruki sighed softly to himself again. Yes, I'm an idiot to think that being normal is possible for me like them.
Fujimaru saw that he had moved too slowly behind and had turned around. "Bro! Why are you so slow, let's go already!"
Fujimaru again grabbed his little hand, and literally yanked him along on their pace. Haruki did not try to resist. These two guys were the only ones he really knew in college, Fujimaru because, in his own ways, he was kind - and Hiroshi, who is often bluntly rude, but was also inside a good person. In a way they were friends to him, but he also had no idea what was friendship.
He did not trust well at all. And soon enough they came upon the cafeteria. It was nearly empty with only a few students scattered about in the places where each one has chosen to sit. The three identified a table and all sat to eat.
When they began eating, Fujimaru turned to Hiroshi in a moment that could only be described as cheeky.
"Did you see what I sent you yesterday?"
Hiroshi stopped, he thought he saw blush right to his face. "Yeah, I saw it."
Fujimaru's grin widened. "So, which part did you like?"
Hiroshi gave him a look. "You are such a perv."
Fujimaru laughed "I might be a perv, so what? You aren't any better. You enjoyed it too right? Especially the part where the guy finally gets over the girl. It was so engaging"
Hiroshi smiled, "Yeah, that was good."
Haruki was quiet and listened. He still did not understand how whatever they were talking about was enjoyable. It made no sense to him. They seemed to be chasing some so called desires. What's the point, he thought to himself. Is this really what people want?
One voice inside him answered, You know the answer. They are just chasing their lust, that's all.
Haruki nodded to himself. Yeah, it is probably that.
He took another bite of food and tried to focus on eating but his mind kept thinking. He glanced over at a table that was in close proximity, full of a group of students talking, some were girls and some were boys. Suddenly one of the boys, tall and good looking got up out of his chair with a nervous look on his face and reached out and took the hand of the girl sitting in front of him.
"I love you," he stammered. "Will you go out with me?
The cafeteria went quiet, and everyone turned to see the couple. The girl looked surprised, her cheeks reddened, but didn't pull her hand away. Haruki continued to stare at the scene unfolding before him with an inscrutable look on his face. He had experienced many scenarios like these. Perhaps too many. It was like people were acting out a scene, as if they were going through some sort of ritual for others to witness.
This is all normal now. In this day and age, the relationships people had were trophies, with the notion of visibility.
Haruki sat at the cafeteria table, only eating his lunch, Curry rice, but his eyes kept falling to a nearby group. A girl held a boy's hand, a slight tremble in her voice, "No, sorry, I can't go out with you."
The boy's smile disappeared if only briefly and he flashed visible disappointment, being smooth with, "It's okay, no problem."
The girl was fast out the exit while whispers spread through the cafeteria.
Haruki sighed quietly to himself. He thought —this is their daily practice. Confessions and rejections took form in a public discreteness of the dining hall experience; this being a busied and uniform college cafeteria of banging trays and fried food odors.
Hiroshi nudged Fujimaru. His tone more eager than serious.
"Hey, guys, I like a girl and you want to guess who it is?"
Haruki kept his gaze on the dinner plate. "No reason. I wouldn't waste my time."
Hiroshi laughed and shoved Haruki's shoulder. "C'mon man, don't be like that."
Fujimaru laughed. He leaned in a bit closer. "Wow, sounds like a girl is going to get some bad luck come her way. So who's the lucky girl, Hiroshi?"
Hiroshi flushed a little and said, "Ah, shut up," then he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone, swiped to a photo, and held it out. "Here. This is her. Her name is Rin Toshuka. She is from the computer science department."
Haruki looked at Hiroshi's phone. Rin had long brown hair that fell around her face, and pair of striking green eyes; they were visible even in the grainy photo. "If she's in computer science, she's probably already someone's girlfriend, most girls are by now."
Hiroshi shrugged. "Nah, she's single; I checked."
Haruki raised an eyebrow. "Okay, fine. But even if she's single, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a crush on someone else. Or that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at all."
Hiroshi and Fujimaru exchanged a look. "You're such a cynical dude," Hiroshi said, half-teasing, yet half-exasperated.
Haruki shrugged. Am I a Cynical, or just realistic? He thought to himself. A quiet, small voice in his mind answered: If truth is cruel, then lies must be Kind. That is why kindness is a lie.
Haruki noticed at this point that Hiroshi and Fujimaru had also finished, and that Fujimaru would now be doing some group project, and he went with Hiroshi, and they headed towards their class, and as they were heading along the same hallway, he looked outside again and wondered to himself, "WILL HE EVER BE ABLE TO BE A NORMAL PERSON LIKE HE WANTS TO BE."
Later that day, Haruki went to his usual place at the back of the classroom. It was a common college classroom with rows of scratched wooden desks, a large chalkboard, chalk dust, and tall windows providing a view of the courtyard where students walked around under trees with no leaves. The scent of chalk was in the air and the low drone of fluorescent lights provided ample noise. A few of the classmates were doodling random things in notebooks or talking softly among themselves while they thought about the lesson.
The economics class was dealt by miss sakura, the thermodynamics teacher, and had written equations on the board. "Today we are going to talk about thermodynamics." The teacher said, immediately cutting all of the conversations.
At this moment when the door open, and a confident, graceful girl walked in. She wore a skirt that was not too short, but short enough, and had a tight t-shirt that showed off her curves.
She turned heads toward everyone's on her line of sight.
She had long brown hair cascading over her shoulders, and her eyes were a light green color. Haruki recognized her immediately. Rin.
"Ma'am, may I come in?" She asked announced in a polite and beautiful tone
Miss Sakura turned. "Yes, come in. What brings you here?"
Rin smiled, a practiced curve of her lips. "My name's Rin, I am from the computer science department. I'm here to invite interested students to join a group project competition."
From the last bench, Hiroshi shot up, his hand raised high. "I want to join!" His enthusiasm earned a warm smile from Rin, and soon other students chimed in—"Me too!"—their voices overlapping as they stood.
Haruki watched, his expression unchanged. Idiots, he thought. They're only interested because of how she looks.
He studied Rin more closely. Her outfit was no accident—carefully chosen to captivate, a mix of shock value and allure. But it wasn't just that. Her communication skills were sharp, the way she spoke commanding attention with ease. She knew how to pull a crowd, how to hold it.
She's smart, Haruki conceded silently. Using her appearance to draw them in. Genius, maybe. But also idiocy—only about 10% of these clowns will actually stick with the competition. The rest are just here for the show.
Hiroshi leaned over, whispering with a grin, "How is she, bro? Tell me."
Haruki glanced at Rin again. "Above average," he said, his tone clipped.
Hiroshi chuckled, clapping Haruki's shoulder. "Don't be so moody. Be open for once."
Haruki said nothing. He watched as Rin addressed the class: "If you want to join the competition, please submit your names to the class representative." She gave Miss Sakura a polite nod of thanks and turned to leave. At the door, she paused, her gaze flickering toward the back—toward the classroom and she noticed Haruki and Hiroshi—before she stepped out and leave.