Chapter 13: The Konoha Chronicle: Pranks, Progress, and Paperwork
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: REFINE ABILITIES. EXPAND PRANK NETWORK. BECOME A LEGEND OF LOCAL NUISANCE.]
Life in Konoha settled into a comfortable rhythm of training, occasional missions, and me perfecting my unique brand of civic disturbance. Being a "Specialist" mostly meant I had an excuse to be everywhere and annoy everyone. It was glorious. My Body Modification was getting less grotesque, more… fluid. My Snake Jutsu was still producing tiny, confused reptiles, but at least they weren't trying to eat my toes anymore. And my Puppet Master Jutsu? That was where the real fun began.
"You know, some people spend their free time practicing taijutsu, or honing their ninjutsu. Me? I'm busy engineering the perfect self-sustaining prank. Something that keeps on giving, long after I've moved on to my next target. It's not just about the immediate reaction; it's about the lingering sense of bewildered frustration. That's true artistry, my friends."
My first major public project was the "Talking Billboard of Truth." I used a combination of my Puppet Master Jutsu and some very tiny, very complex chakra strings to animate a large billboard near the village gates. It wasn't just talking; it was commenting.
[ADAM IZUKU: DEPLOYING PUBLIC ART. EXPECT CIVILIAN CHAOS AND NINJA EXASPERATION.]
"Good morning, Konoha!" the billboard's painted mouth would suddenly animate, its voice a booming, slightly distorted baritone. "Another beautiful day to be a ninja! Remember, your Hokage loves you! And also, remembers that late paperwork you still haven't filed, Shikamaru Nara! Yes, you!"
[SHIKAMARU NARA LIKE METER: -5% (INITIAL ANNOYANCE)]
Shikamaru, who was strolling by with his usual cloud-gazing demeanor, stopped dead in his tracks. His jaw dropped. "What… what the hell?"
The billboard then switched targets. "And civilian Mrs. Tanaka! Your gossiping about the ramen shop's new secret ingredient is truly groundbreaking journalism! Keep up the good work!"
Chaos erupted. Civilians pointed, gasped, and then started looking suspiciously at each other. Ninjas stared at the talking billboard with a mixture of horror and confusion.
"Adam!" Sakura yelled, her eyes wide, "Did you do this?!"
"Me?" I said, feigning profound innocence as I "casually" walked by. "Why would I animate a billboard? I'm just a simple, peace-loving civilian who appreciates innovative street art. It's truly… expressive, isn't it?"
Even Yamato, who had rushed to the scene with his ANBU team, looked utterly bewildered. "This… this is a highly advanced genjutsu! Who could be responsible for this?!"
I just whistled innocently, my tiny, puppet-driven chakra strings humming contentedly. This was a triumph. A true masterpiece of public annoyance.
My own physical experiments were still ongoing. I was trying to master the Body Modification to make it genuinely useful. One day, while trying to stretch my arm to reach a particularly stubborn high shelf in my kitchen, I accidentally stretched my ear to an absurd length. It hung down past my shoulder, wobbling like a fleshy pendulm.
Just as I managed to get the elusive cookie jar, Tsunade, the Hokage herself, burst into my apartment. She looked furious. Probably about the talking billboard.
"Adam Izuku!" she roared. "What in the name of the Sannin have you done to the village gates?!"
I quickly tried to retract my ear. It snapped back, making a disturbing thwack sound against my head. "Hokage-sama! Just, uh, practicing some… advanced ear cleaning techniques! Very important for chakra flow, you know!"
[TSUNADE LIKE METER: 65% (FROM RESCUING GARA, NOT EAR STRETCHING)]
Tsunade just stared at my rapidly reddening ear, then at the cookie jar in my hand, then back at me. Her eye twitched. "You… you stretched your ear for a cookie?"
"Efficiency, Hokage-sama!" I declared. "Why waste energy walking when you can just… extend?"
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "You are… a headache. A very strange, very annoying headache."
"Thank you, Hokage-sama!" I beamed. "I aim to please!"
My relationship with Sai was also evolving. He was beginning to show subtle signs of genuine emotion. He would occasionally offer a slightly less blank smile, or a barely perceptible eye-roll when Naruto did something particularly stupid. He even started seeking me out.
One afternoon, he found me trying to get one of my tiny snakes to perform a miniature victory dance. It was mostly just slithering in confused circles.
"Adam-kun," Sai said, his voice flat, but with a new undertone of… curiosity. "I have observed your 'Emotional Enhancers' and 'Quacky.' They appear to induce… strong reactions. How do you elicit such… robust emotional responses?"
"He's asking for advice! A real, live human asking me, Adam Izuku, for advice on emotional manipulation! This is like Christmas morning, Halloween, and my birthday all rolled into one glorious, chaos-filled package. My life's work is finally being appreciated. By a robot, but still!"
"Ah, Sai-kun!" I exclaimed, carefully putting away my bewildered snake. "It's an art, really. It's about understanding the delicate balance between annoyance and hilarity. It's about finding the pressure points of a person's soul and gently, yet persistently, poking them. For example, Naruto's an open book: ramen and Sasuke. Sakura: forehead and Sasuke. Kakashi: Icha Icha and tardiness. You? Your pressure point is… well, it used to be nothing. Now it's tiny wooden puppets and invisible ink. Progress!"
[SAI LIKE METER: 45% (GENUINE CURIOSITY AND INTELLECTUAL ENGAGEMENT)]
Sai actually tilted his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. "So, the key is… personalized irritation?"
"Precisely!" I grinned. "It's not about being mean, Sai-kun. It's about facilitating emotional growth through strategic, targeted annoyance. Think of me as your emotional personal trainer. Only instead of push-ups, I make people want to punch me."
Sai stared at me for a long moment, then, a faint, almost real smile touched his lips. "I see. This is… fascinating."
"It is, isn't it?" I said, basking in his nascent emotional development. "Now, about that chakra control, Naruto. If you keep molding it like that, you're going to accidentally summon a giant, pink, ramen-flavored slug."
Life in Konoha was never dull. And with my expanding arsenal of copied jutsu and my ever-growing list of targets for 'emotional enhancement,' it was only going to get weirder. And more fun. For me, anyway.