Renga Town's adventurer guild was like a fever dream on too little sleep and too much fermented melon juice. The walls were a chaotic blend of bright crimson and teal, posters of completely unrelated events littered the boards (from "Slime Wrangling Tournament" to "Wanted: Cursed Pot That Screams at 2AM"), and a giant taxidermied wyvern wearing sunglasses hung over the reception counter like it was judging everyone.
Kazuki, of course, walked in like he'd just discovered his own living room.
"Yo! I'd like to register as an adventurer!" he beamed, raising his hand.
The room went silent. A fork dropped. A slime exploded in the corner—though that may have been unrelated.
Aurelis sighed beside him. "Why do I always feel like my honor decreases just by standing next to you?"
"Maybe because you're too upright?" Kazuki shrugged. "Try slouching more. I do it all the time. Works wonders."
"Sir," a muscular receptionist with a sparkling beard cleared his throat, "adventurer registration requires passing the Basic Aptitude Test. That includes a physical trial, a logic exam, and a mana control demonstration."
Kazuki nodded solemnly. "Great! Sounds fun."
"Also, you'll be required to complete the test alone. Companions are not allowed to assist."
A boing noise echoed behind him. Slime blinked innocently.
"Slime," Kazuki whispered, "no cheating. Even if you are the smartest one here."
Slime blinked again. Slowly. Judgmentally.
The Testing Room
The testing chamber looked like a rejected game show set. A wide, open platform sat at the center, surrounded by magically glowing glyphs and instructors wearing black vests with clipboard charms floating next to them.
A man with a monocle and a stressed-out aura stepped forward.
"Name?"
"Kazuki Arata! Transmigrated hero, accidental savior, and part-time soup enthusiast."
"…Just Kazuki will do."
"Okay, Just Kazuki," he grinned. "Let's do this!"
The instructor sighed, already writing 'problematic' on his notes.
Trial One: Physical Test
"First challenge: Get across this obstacle course without falling!"
Kazuki looked out at a mess of spinning platforms, swinging hammers, lava bubbles, and—wait, was that a dancing golem throwing pies?
"How high is the casualty rate on this?" Kazuki asked cheerfully.
"Fourteen percent."
"Oh! Lower than my cooking success rate. Let's go!"
He sprinted forward, immediately tripped on the first platform, and slammed into a swinging pendulum that launched him halfway across the room—bouncing off a pie, slipping on an oil slick, and somehow landing in a triple somersault that stuck the landing.
"…Success?" one instructor blinked.
"Elegant!" Kazuki posed, blood trickling from his nose.
The monocle man scribbled: "Physics-defying luck. Possible divine interference?"
Trial Two: Logic Exam
Kazuki sat down at a desk with a single page and a magical ink quill.
Question One:
If a wyvern lays one egg every four days and its twin cousin lays two every three, how many eggs will both lay in twelve days?
He stared.
Then turned the page over and drew a comic of a wyvern wearing glasses and teaching math to chickens.
SLAP!
The instructor picked it up. "This… is technically correct if the chickens are in a unionized learning system. You pass."
Aurelis, watching from outside the glass, visibly lost his will to live.
Trial Three: Mana Control
This was where most newbies failed. They had to manipulate a small flame, shape it into a simple object, and sustain it for ten seconds.
Kazuki looked at the glowing orb of flame.
He stuck out his hands.
And promptly sneezed.
The flame exploded into a phoenix-shaped firework, which spiraled into the air, wrote the word "YOLO" in flaming kanji, and gently transformed into a flower that floated down and kissed the instructor's nose.
"…"
"Did I pass?" Kazuki asked, rubbing his nose.
One instructor was already crying. "That was beautiful."
Another nodded. "Promotion material, honestly."
Outside the Room
Kazuki emerged from the testing room with soot in his hair, his shirt scorched, and glitter from who-knows-where stuck to his boots.
Aurelis stared at him, arms crossed.
"Well?"
Kazuki grinned. "I passed!"
"You—HOW? I watched you FALL into a pie. You LITERALLY threw the test paper at the examiner."
"Yeah, but I passed with… style."
Slime bounced proudly.
Aurelis facepalmed.
Then the receptionist reappeared and handed Kazuki a brand-new Guild Bronze Badge.
"Welcome to the Adventurer Guild of Renga, Mr. Kazuki," the bearded man said. "We don't understand you, but we respect the chaos you bring."
Kazuki saluted. "Happy to confuse and amuse, sir."