Defne Ateş
Even though I was twenty-six years old, I was still living with my parents. My younger brother Yunus had already moved out and started living on his own. But I was still in the family home; surrounded by familiar scents and the comfort of long-standing routines. Sometimes I felt judged by the condescending glances of those around me. Other times, I simply felt inadequate. But what could I do? Being with my family gave me a sense of security. This house was like a safe harbor, away from the chaos and uncertainties of the outside world.
I had a good job. I was working at one of the city's most prestigious architecture firms and chasing my dreams. The salary wasn't bad either—I was being rewarded for my efforts. I loved what I did, but there was still something missing inside me: loneliness. It was a sting that made itself known even in the most crowded places. I wanted someone in my life, but it felt like my heart didn't want anyone. I just couldn't feel that spark anymore.
Back in university, there had been someone—Aras. He was by my side for four years. We laughed together, cried together, dreamed together… And then there was the accident. That single moment that changed everything. A moment that quietly severed the bond between us. I never found out why, never got a chance to say goodbye. His sudden absence left a deep wound in my heart—an emptiness I couldn't put into words. After him, a few people came into my life, but none could fill his place. Aras was always there, like a longing I carried silently… Maybe the hardest part was the silence he left behind. No one could ever be like him. And they weren't meant to be. But I didn't want to give up either. Life was like a river—sometimes calm, sometimes wild. I kept swimming in that river. Even when I longed for love, trust, and meaningful connection—I never gave up.
I threw myself into my work. I had become an architect and was chasing my dreams. I had built my own little world in the city. I had friends who made me laugh. I wasn't truly alone—but still, something deep inside felt incomplete. Maybe one day that emptiness would be filled. Who knows?
As always, I stopped by my favorite café to get coffee before heading to work. It was still early; the city hadn't quite woken up yet. But the café was warm and lively. While I was waiting in line, a familiar voice reached my ears:
"Your usual, Miss Defne?" said Sertaç with his ever-cheerful smile.
I smiled and nodded. As he handed me my coffee, a subtle sense of comfort and excitement stirred inside me.
I didn't know it yet, but a major turning point in my life was about to begin.
With my coffee in hand, I walked toward the office. The moment I stepped inside, familiar office sounds filled the air. Some colleagues were rushing around, others glued to their phones—the daily chaos had already begun. Just then, Elif appeared in front of me, carrying files, looking slightly panicked.
"Defne, where have you been?" she asked, a mix of worry and warmth in her voice.
I glanced at my watch. I was still on time. Smiling, I said, "I'm actually early."
Elif took a deep breath, her excitement and a touch of nervousness reflected in her voice. "There's a very important meeting today. We need to go over the project one more time before it starts."
I kept sipping my coffee calmly, as if everything was under control. "Relax, we'll go over it now," I said in an easygoing tone.
Elif widened her eyes. "Oh Defne… how are you so calm? You do know the boss really cares about this project, right?"
I walked over to my desk, dropped my bag, and reached out for the file. "Okay, let's get started," I said, trying to focus.
As I flipped through the pages, Elif suddenly shifted her tone. "Apparently someone new is starting today, to take Arda's place," she said.
"Hmm… Do you know who it is?" I asked, curiosity suddenly blooming inside me.
"His name's Aras. Last name… right, Aras Çelik," she replied.
I froze. My heart started beating faster. I turned to Elif sharply.
"Who did you say? Aras?" I asked, my voice trembling.
Elif looked at me, surprised. "Yeah… do you know him?"
"Yes," I whispered. A storm was starting to rage inside me. Memories came flooding back.
Elif leaned in curiously. "How do you know him?"
"From a long time ago… just an old acquaintance," I said shortly, not wanting to say more. My words got stuck in my throat.
"I need to go to the restroom," I said abruptly and walked away.
As I made my way down the hallway, my heart was pounding. I locked the door behind me and leaned against the cold tile. I took a deep breath. Excitement, fear, and uncertainty were all tangled up inside me. Seeing Aras again was about to unearth everything I'd buried deep over the years.
How many years had it been? Six? Maybe more?
I looked at my pale face in the mirror. My makeup was fine. I quickly adjusted my hair. Took a deep breath and composed myself, then returned to my desk.
When I came back, I saw Elif talking to someone.
"Ah, Defne, look—Aras is here," Elif said, her voice tinged with both excitement and mischief.
Aras had his back to me. "You said you knew him, but he didn't recognize you," Elif added, almost teasing.
Just then, Aras slowly turned around.
My heart raced. A lump formed in my throat. Elif's words—"He didn't recognize you"—echoed in my mind. There was something strangely familiar yet distant about him. Something I couldn't quite grasp.
Time had etched faint lines on Aras's face; his expression seemed harder, more distant—but still, he looked the same. Broad shoulders, strong posture, those piercing green eyes… He was still beautiful to me. Still familiar.
I could hardly speak as the storm inside me threatened to consume me.
"Hi Aras… welcome. I'm Defne. We went to university together," I said, my voice slightly shaking.
Aras smiled faintly. There was a flicker of recognition in his eyes, like something from the past. He paused, then gently shook my hand.
"Oh, Defne," he said. "After the accident, I had some memory loss. I'm sorry," he added, his voice shy and full of remorse.
"Hmm… Is that so? That's okay," I replied, but something inside me felt hollow. It was as if the man in front of me wasn't the Aras I once knew. There was something unfamiliar in the depths of his eyes—fragments missing from his words, secrets flickering behind each blink.
For a moment, I paused and wondered how much people could really change over the years. I thought I had forgotten Aras. But now, I realized—maybe I had never truly known him.
As our conversation went on, I began to understand more clearly that I was standing in front of a man who was hiding from his past behind the excuse of memory loss. He was choosing his words carefully, trying to hide the turmoil inside.
And yet, despite everything—I was drawn to him. Because this encounter felt like it might ignite a fire inside me that had been flickering for years, waiting to blaze once more.