The FamilyMart near Sakura High School was the kind of place that existed in the liminal space between school and home, where students gathered to eat convenience store fried chicken and complain about homework. Kenji arrived first, still wearing his school uniform and feeling ridiculous, and bought a can of coffee from the machine outside.
Agent Sato appeared a few minutes later, having changed out of her teacher clothes into civilian wear. She looked like what she was: a young woman in her early twenties. Standing next to Kenji in his school uniform, they probably looked like siblings with a questionable age gap.
"This is weird," she said immediately upon seeing him.
"Tell me about it."
"No, I mean, seeing you in that uniform. It's deeply unsettling."
"Imagine how I feel wearing it."
They found a corner table inside the store, away from the handful of other customers. Sato pulled out a small notebook, trying to look professional despite the surreal circumstances.
"Okay, so let's review what we know about the pudding situation."
"Absolutely nothing."
"Right. And what we've learned today?"
"That high school students will apparently accept anyone as their peer as long as they wear the right uniform and don't explicitly state their actual age."
"That's... actually kind of disturbing when you think about it."
"I try not to think about it too much. It makes my head hurt."
Sato made a note in her book. "Have you noticed anything unusual about the school? Any pudding-related activities?"
"Well, there's a bake sale coming up for the school festival. Maybe that's connected?"
"A bake sale isn't necessarily suspicious."
"In our line of work, everything is suspicious. Remember the time that yoga class turned out to be a money laundering operation?"
"Point taken. What else?"
"The cafeteria serves a lot of desserts. More than seems normal for a high school."
"Now we're getting somewhere. Anything else?"
"The vending machines have an unusual variety of pudding flavors. I counted at least twelve different types."
"Twelve types of pudding in vending machines definitely seems excessive."
"Right? I mean, how much pudding can teenagers really consume?"
Their conversation was interrupted by a group of Sakura High School students entering the convenience store. Kenji instinctively hunched down in his seat, trying to avoid recognition.
"Takahashi-kun!" called out a familiar voice.
Too late.
Yamamoto Yuki approached their table with a bright smile, followed by two other girls from his class. "What are you doing here? And who's this?"
Kenji felt sweat forming on his forehead. "Oh, hi, Yamamoto-san. This is my... sister."
Sato's eyes widened in panic. "Sister?"
"My... older sister. She's in college."
"I'm twenty-one," Sato said automatically, then immediately looked like she regretted it.
"Wow, your sister is so pretty!" one of the other girls exclaimed. "And so young-looking! You two don't look much alike, though."
"Different fathers," Kenji said quickly, which was both completely fabricated and oddly plausible.
"That's so cool that you hang out with your older sister," Yuki said, sitting down at their table without invitation. "My older brother never wants to spend time with me."
"We're very close," Kenji said, shooting a desperate look at Sato.
"That's... sweet," Sato managed. "Kenji has always been very mature for his age."
"Right? He's so different from other boys our age. Very responsible."
The other two girls nodded in agreement. "Most seventeen-year-old boys are so immature," one of them added.
"Seventeen-year-old boys are the worst," agreed the other.
Kenji felt like he was trapped in some kind of cosmic joke. Here he was, a forty-year-old man, listening to teenage girls complain about how immature teenage boys were, while they praised him for being more mature than his supposed peers.
"So, Takahashi-kun," Yuki said, leaning forward with interest, "what do you and your sister talk about?"
"Work stuff," Kenji said weakly.
"Work stuff?"
"She... tells me about college. And her job."
"What kind of job do you have?" one of the girls asked Sato.
"I'm a teacher," Sato replied.
"Really? Where do you teach?"
Sato's face went through several expressions before settling on resigned panic. "At... Sakura High School."
The girls stared at her, then at Kenji, then back at her.
"Wait," Yuki said slowly, "you're Sato-sensei? The new English teacher?"
"Yes."
"And you're Takahashi-kun's sister?"
"Yes."
"That's so weird! What are the odds?"
"Astronomical," Kenji muttered.
"This is so cool!" Yuki exclaimed. "Your sister is our teacher! That must be weird, right? Having your sister work at your school?"
"You have no idea," Kenji said.
"Do you get in trouble if you don't do your English homework?" one of the girls asked with a giggle.
"I always do my homework," Kenji replied, which was technically true since he'd been completing assignments with the dedication of someone trying not to blow his cover.
"He's so responsible," Yuki said dreamily. "I wish my little brother was more like you."
"How old is your little brother?" Sato asked.
"Fifteen. He's such a child compared to Takahashi-kun."
Kenji felt his soul leave his body. A fifteen-year-old was being called a child in comparison to him by a seventeen-year-old who didn't realize he was forty.
"Well," Sato said, standing up abruptly, "we should get going. Family dinner, you know."
"Oh, that's nice!" Yuki said. "You're so lucky to have such a close family. See you tomorrow, Takahashi-kun!"
As the girls walked away, chattering excitedly about their discovery, Kenji and Sato sat in stunned silence.
"That," Sato said finally, "was the most stressful conversation of my entire life."
"Welcome to my world."
"How are you handling this? Seriously, how are you not having a complete breakdown?"
"Who says I'm not?"
"The fact that you're sitting here having a normal conversation instead of rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere."
"The day is young."
Sato closed her notebook. "We need to accelerate this investigation. The longer we stay here, the more complicated this situation is going to get."
"Agreed. But how do we investigate a pudding conspiracy when I'm apparently too busy being the world's oldest high school student?"
"We'll figure it out. In the meantime, try not to get more involved in school activities."
"I'm already on the volleyball team."
"What?"
"And there's talk of me joining the student council."
"Kenji."
"And I think the drama club wants me to audition for their spring play."
"This is getting out of hand."
"You think?"
As they left the convenience store, Kenji caught sight of his reflection in the glass door. Forty years old, in a high school uniform, discussing undercover work with his "sister" who was actually his colleague. His life had become a light novel, and not one of the good ones.
"Same time tomorrow?" Sato asked.
"Assuming I survive volleyball practice and don't accidentally get elected to something."
"Good luck."
"I'm going to need it."