The blue light screens vanished as abruptly as they had appeared, plunging the chamber back into the sickly glow of the luminous stone. The ensuing silence was deafening, heavy with the weight of the impossible. Vespera, uselessly trying to cover her body with her hands and wings, trembled uncontrollably.
"What is this?!" she shrieked, her voice a high-pitched squeal of panic. "Thalassa, look at me! My... my wings! They're everywhere! I'm a monster! And he's seeing everything! He saw the... the hologram!"
Thalassa, for her part, staggered with a hand on her head as if trying to contain a cosmic migraine. Her new red eyes with vertical pupils blinked, processing the flood of alien information and her terrifying new form.
"You're not a monster, you're a Succubus!" she exclaimed, her voice a strange mix of the Captain and a terrified nerd. "And I'm a Demon Queen! We're screwed! Royally screwed! The Inquisition of Light is going to purge us with holy fire! They'll hang us in the town square as a warning! And we can't get out of here! And you're practically naked!"
Ari gently moved aside the hands Vespera was using to cover her face. His eyes, rather than showing horror, gleamed with an almost academic appreciation.
"Technically, Thalassa isn't naked," he corrected with unnerving calm. "She's wearing a very... elegant dress. With a very... accessible back. Vespera, on the other hand..." his gaze swept over the succubus's figure as she futilely tried to cover herself, "...well, let's just say the Light works in very, very mysterious and generous ways."
"Don't look at me!" Vespera shrieked, her face as red as her fiery hair.
Just then, a new blue light window appeared floating next to Vespera, emitting a soft chime.
[System Alert: The term "Monster" is incorrect.] [The "Primordial Succubus" Class is a Rare and Elite Rank designation. Please treat the First General with the respect due to her position.]
Vespera looked at the screen, then at herself. "I don't want to be a 'First General'! I want my old pants and my dented armor back!"
Thalassa clutched at her new black horns as if afraid they might fall off. "System! This is a mistake! We're Templars of the Silver Flame! Our purpose is to destroy things like... like us! This is a monumental conflict of interest!"
Ari crossed his arms, observing the breakdown of his two companions. "Fascinating. I've never seen the Captain lose her composure like this. It's... refreshing."
"Shut up, Ari!" they both yelled in unison.
"Alright, alright," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "But can we address the most immediate problem? I mean, besides the fact that you're now demons and I'm your 'common subject'?" He grimaced as he said the last words. "Clothing. Or the lack thereof, in some cases. Vespera, with all due respect to your... new form, you're going to catch a cold."
"He's right!" Thalassa said, a spark of her old authority returning. She concentrated, closing her eyes. "System! I need a solution! We need clothes! Our armor! Can you replicate it? I can't plan world domination with this much cleavage!"
A new, larger screen appeared, visible to all three of them. It displayed images of their old templar armor.
[Request Received: Apparel Replication.] [Item to Replicate: [Standard Templar Armor] x2.] [Analyzing data... Item found in the Master's memory records. Replication possible.] [Warning: Replication will copy the form, but not the original sacred properties. It will be normal steel armor.] [Cost: 100 Dungeon Points (DP) per set.] [Total Cost: 200 DP.] [Confirm?] [YES] / [NO]
Ari read the notification, his gaze sliding sideways to Thalassa, whose dark dress clung to a figure that defied the laws of physics and modesty. Then, his eyes landed on Vespera, who was still trying to cover herself.
"Oh, no. Please, say no," he pleaded in a low voice. "Don't ruin this divine sight. It's a gift from... well, whoever's in charge of this."
"YES, YES, CONFIRM!" Thalassa shouted, ignoring him completely.
[Confirmed. Deducting 200 DP from the Dungeon Treasury.] [DP Remaining: 9,800.] [System Tip: Prudent resource management is the key to the long-term success of a prosperous dungeon. Spend wisely!]
A dense, white light enveloped Thalassa and Vespera. Their demonic attire—the regal dress and leather straps—dissolved into particles of light. For one glorious split second, both were completely naked in the glow of the luminous stone before the light solidified again, forming their familiar templar armor.
The metal fit their new, exaggerated figures perfectly. Vespera's breastplate looked like it was about to burst at any moment, and Thalassa's now possessed a lethal elegance it hadn't had before. The visual spectacle was over.
Ari let out a sigh of tragic, profound loss. "Well. It was nice while it lasted," he said, placing a hand over his heart dramatically.
The image is already seared into my brain, he thought with an inward smirk. A victory for posterity.
Now dressed in their old armor, but still sporting demonic horns, wings, and eyes, their initial panic was replaced by a colder, more practical desperation.
"Okay," Vespera said, touching her breastplate. It felt strange, too tight. "We're dressed. Great. But we're still stuck in the ass-end of the world, we look like something out of a forbidden bestiary, and we have no idea how to get out!"
"The door closed," Thalassa said, her strategist's mind finally kicking back into gear. "That tree-mouth... it sealed us in here. And I doubt it'll open if we ask nicely."
"So what do we do?" Vespera asked, her voice on the verge of hysteria. "Stay here forever? Raise janitor slimes?"
It was then that Ari, seeing his golden opportunity, stepped forward. He straightened up, adopting an expression of noble resolve, the same one he used when he had to console a wealthy widow. His face was the very picture of sacrifice and piety.
"Listen to me," he said in a deep, solemn voice, a voice that demanded attention.
Thalassa and Vespera turned to look at him, their faces a mixture of desperation and curiosity. At that moment, they would have grasped at any straw.
"There is a way out," Ari continued, his gaze shifting from one to the other with moving seriousness. "A way for you to be safe. A way for the world to never know what happened to you down here."
"What is it?" Thalassa asked, skeptical but willing to hear anything.
Ari lifted his chin, his profile silhouetted by the light of the stone, the very image of nobility and self-sacrifice. "It is a difficult solution. A path that will require great sacrifice... on my part."
"Spit it out, you idiot!" Vespera snapped.
"You will both renounce the Templars," Ari declared. "We will create a believable cover story. We'll say that while exploring the cave, you had a divine revelation. The Pure Light appeared before you and showed you the true path."
"The true path?" Thalassa repeated, confused.
"The path of humble service," Ari explained. "You will say that the Light has commanded you to lay down your swords and embrace a life of piety and devotion. And to seal this new holy pact... you will marry me."
Silence. A silence so absolute you could hear water dripping somewhere in the far reaches of the cave. Thalassa and Vespera stared at him, their brains trying to process the logic of his proposal.
"WHAT?!" they finally screamed in unison, their exclamation echoing through the chamber.
Ari didn't flinch. He held his noble pose. "You will settle into my humble home, next to the church. No one will ever suspect the devout and beautiful wives of the village priest. Your true nature will remain forever hidden under the veil of holy matrimony. You'll be able to use your... human forms, as the system says."
"You're completely insane!" Thalassa said. "Marry you? You?"
"It is a terrible sacrifice, I know," Ari said, his voice trembling with feigned, restrained emotion. "To give up my life of... of chastity and celibacy... for your safety. To bear the burden of having two impossibly beautiful and powerful wives..." His gaze, unseen by them, drifted for a moment to the vivid memory of Vespera's hologram. "But I will do it. It is my duty. My duty as a man of the Light and as... as your friend."
Oh, yes, he thought to himself. The sacrifice... is going to be hard. So very hard. I'll have to endure it every day and every night. What a heavy cross I must bear.
Just as Thalassa was about to retort, to scream at him that it was the stupidest, most selfish idea she had ever heard in her life, a new system screen appeared in front of Ari, visible to all three.
[Side Quest Activated!] [Quest: The Consort's Sacrifice] [Description: The subject "Ari" has proposed a noble sacrifice to protect the identities of the Dungeon Master and her First General. The System approves of this display of loyalty... and audacity.] [Objective: Enter into matrimony with the Dungeon Master (Thalassa) and the First General (Vespera).] [Reward: ???, Title Change to "Confirmed Consort", Unlocks Bond Skills.] [Penalty for Failure: Eternal Loneliness and a permanent -50% debuff to Charisma.]
Ari looked at the screen. Thalassa looked at the screen. Vespera looked at the screen.
"Well," Ari said, breaking the silence, a slow, triumphant smile spreading across his face. "It seems the System agrees with me. It's fate."