It started with a scented candle.Juno lit it during a midnight manifestation ritual. She was aiming for self-love. Maybe clarity. Definitely not a binding vow of holy matrimony with a cursed spirit. But you know how the Communion does — the line between self-care and soul-bonding is real blurry at 2 a.m.
The curse arrived in a puff of rose petals and alimony demands.
Tall. Elegant. Wearing a tuxedo made of screaming vows and a veil made of old wedding invitations. It introduced itself as "Vowcifer, the Eternal Groom."And then it slid a ring onto Juno's finger before she could blink.
"We're Married Now."
Juno screamed.Spillglass screamed louder.Flint tried to punch the groom. His fist bounced off with a musical "I do~" and a spray of heart-shaped confetti.
Vowcifer grinned. "As is tradition, all guests are now bridesmaids of the damned."
Thorne: "Absolutely not."
Marrow: "I'll kill him."
Father Asher: "Marriage is a sacred bond—"
Juno cut in, yanking at the ring. "He proposed with a blood contract. He makes me breakfast in bed but it's made of cursed intestines."
Nobara walked in mid-rant. Blinked. "...Girl, you good?"
"Do I LOOK good?!" Juno yelled, pointing at the undead but well-mannered groom flossing his fangs in their shared bathroom.
Turns out, to break the vow, they had to go through with the wedding.A full one. Dress, guests, awkward speeches. Only then could she challenge Vowcifer to a "Heart Trial" and either consummate or exorcise the bond.
They chose exorcise.
But first—they had to throw a cursed wedding.
Gojo RSVPed with "+69." Yuji brought cake. Megumi threatened to summon Max Elephant in a tux. Panda was the flower bear. Spillglass was the officiant. He started drinking 4 hours before.
Thorne refused to wear the bridesmaid dress.Until the curse enchanted it to scream every time he resisted.She gave up after 12 minutes.
Right before the vows, Vowcifer dropped his mask."Your soul is beautiful, Juno. Full of pain and hope. I wanted to preserve it."
Juno stared, deadpan. "You cursed me over a moon ritual and two affirmations."
The curse bowed. "Love finds us unexpectedly."
Juno summoned her divine fan, inscribed with "I Love Me More."
They clashed mid-vow. The bouquet exploded into screaming doves.Nobara screamed, "STAB THE RING FINGER!"
Thorne threw a shoe. Marrow threw hands.
Vowcifer was exorcised mid-"Always and Forever."
The reception still happened.
Gojo made everyone slow dance to cursed Frank Sinatra.Yuji caught the bouquet. Nobara punched him for it.Juno burned the ring in a fire made from self-help books and glitter.
She smiled.
"Okay. That was kinda therapeutic."