*******
Sat flat on the floor, arms hugging thighs, tight, eyes staring at the sky, empty inside, Daichi wondered,
'Why does it always end like this? Why does everything I care about end up slipping away?
Am I just… not good enough?'
He asked, questioned, demanded, reasoned his own mind, desperate for a reply.
One that never came despite all the overwhelming thoughts he put into thinking.
Every word seemed to him like an attack, a sharp edge, an unavoidable blow to his self-esteem, a way to bring him down even lower than he already stood.
An outcast, a nonentity with no redeeming quality or hope to cling onto.
After all, what else could he be lounging for in this life?
Nothing.
No friends, no close classmates, no supporting teachers, and no close relatives outside of his parents.
Throughout his life, Daichi has never been able to sustain any healthy relationships with people till the end.
Whether it be his childhood friend, Minami, the gentle and caring neighborhood girl he grew up with, the one he considered his first love…
The first ever person to break his innocent and fragile heart.
Or maybe the so-called friends and classmates he used to hang out with, who gave him a sense of belonging throughout middle school…
The same ones who all turned their back on him like strangers in his moments of despair.
Without forgetting this private high school academy…
This high-class institution culminating a myriad of people coming from different origins, backgrounds, and all spheres of influence in the country…
A healthy, secure, and privileged environment that offers the best education and infrastructure for collective and personal growth,
A brand-new world where he thought he could free himself from the past and move forward with his fellow classmates…
This academy, which his father worked so hard to get him into, out of hope and faith to see his bright son, one day shining among the elite, and bring honor to his name…
All were nothing but facades, lies, and mind games between those at the top.
A battleground for people of the high society and anyone wishing to rise to the top by crushing their fellow classmates and friends to the ground without remorse.
People like them…
'I wish I understood this sooner…' he regretted, remembering the hell he went through in his life as a student of this private academy.
From his very first interaction in class with Kaori, that one girl who seemed like an angel with a big heart, a maiden who could warm everyone's heart, and the first person to approach him in this unfamiliar place…
The new friend he valued more than anything, the one who taught him to defend himself and raise his head tall…
That damn queen bee and her gal group with all their shenanigans and teasing…
Even the cute and innocent junior Hanabi…
The last one he would ever though would betray him and cast him away like a reject, an outcast…
And the one event that almost drove him to insanity and drove him to death…
If not for Nakajima Alicia, the only light he could find in this God-forsaken academy, full of snobs and wannabes, manipulators and vixens…
He would have ended it long ago.
For her, he kept going, for her he kept moving forward, despite the hardships and conflicting thoughts suffocating him.
'If I cling on to this hope, if I can be at least of use to her…
Maybe this time would be different…' he thought.
And this was the result of his nearly two years of hard work and dedication…
A broken mind with nothing left to care about, crushed by the reality he lived in.
Was I too greedy?' he asked, 'What even was the meaning of this life?'
For someone like him with no particular talents, no social life, no dreams, nor goals to achieve, there was only one thing left to do.
"I had enough!" he declared, getting up, chest held tightly as if preventing it from falling apart.
'I just... can't take it anymore...'
His heart was hollow, his mind broken to the point of no return, his soul wavering like a dying flame waiting to be extinguished by the slightest breeze blowing on the rooftop.
*Step, step, step*
One foot after another, body sluggish, heart heavy, and vision blurry, Daichi advanced toward his last route of escape.
The only thing he could perceive in his path was the metal fence in front of him.
*Grab*
"Let's... end everything there," he announced, tightly holding the grayish barrier separating him from death.
He had made up his mind, and there was no one else to stop him this time.
All he had to do was slowly climb up bit by bit and get to the other side.
It was maybe hard considering his average physics, but not impossible.
Slowly but surely, Daichi soon reached the other side of the fence.
*Thud*
His feet landed on the borders outside the security limits.
*Phew*
"Made it."
The space was just right for him to fit in without issues.
"Now..." Taking the bars as support, he turned around, and as his gaze met the sky,
*Whoooooo*
"Beautiful!" he exclaimed.
A view so bright, a view so colorful, one where the sun brimmed with lights above, showering the sky with its immaculate radiance.
One where the gentle breeze going through the horizon was softly caressing and warming his weathered face...
'Hah…So refreshing,' he sighed, leaning on the fence, eyes closed.
Truly, a mesmerizing spectacle.
For a second, he felt all his worries fading away.
Nothing else mattered anymore.
'I wish time would stop there…' he thought, praying desperately that this life was just a dream, an illusion brought to his mind by some strange, unknow circumstances…
Alas, nothing could erase those memories or the pain in his heart.
Not even in this brief moment of peace and tranquility.
"Sorry, Mom, Dad... I did the best I could, but... It still wasn't enough," he said with teary eyes,
"So please, let me rest now."
Daichi took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and leaned forward, preparing for the final act.
In that instant, which lasted less than a second, it happened.
The one event that would change his fate and alter his life going forward.
*TLING! *
"Wha!!!…" He gasped, eyes shook open, head knocked back on the fence as if hit by a shockwave.
A loud and deafening sound rang in his eardrums like a bell, resonating with his entire being.
The shock was so violent and sudden that his whole body went numb and lost its balance.
And when his eyes met the ground five floors below, he understood.
'This is it. I'm going to die.'
Strangely enough, he had no fear, no regrets, not even a once of feeling, he simply felt nothing…
As if the void had taken over him.
*Swoosh! *
*Grab! *
'What... is going on? What am I doing right now?' He asked, all confused.
His hands were glued to the fence and had no intention of letting go; his arms were pumped with blood running through his veins like a torrent, his eyes were wide open, and his mind was clear as the sky above.
*Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump*
'This feeling…' Daichi sensed, 'Just what is it?'
The unusual surge of strength, the unbelievable willpower, and the intense desire to live he has never felt before to this day.
'I don't understand. I thought I had already given up, that I was ready to die…
So, why am I resisting? Just why can't I let go?'
It didn't make any sense to him.
Not after what he had experienced, not after all the troubles he went through getting here!
Admits the doubts and confusion in his heart and the desperate struggle to survive, only one thing was ingrained into his consciousness.
Something his whole body, mind, and soul were screaming out loud in chorus.
'I DON'T WANT TO DIE!'
Like a madman possessed by a strange force inside, like an animal acting on impulse, gripping the fences through the gaps and pushing forward.
'I CAN'T DIE, I CAN'T DIE, I CAN'T DIE...
NOT NOW, NOT YET…
I STILL HAVEN'T REACHED IT YET…
JUST THIS ONCE…
I WANT… TO LIVE!'