Chapter 1: The System's Sticky Situation
The first thing Kaito registered, before the blinding light or the dizzying lurch in his gut, was the distinct, unmistakable scent of ramen. Not the instant kind, but the rich, savory broth simmering with pork and scallions. Then came the sound, a cheerful, almost annoyingly upbeat, "Welcome to Konoha, Host! Your reincarnation process is complete. Prepare for a truly… *stimulating* experience!"
A disembodied voice, chirpy as a spring robin, echoed inside his skull. Kaito's eyes fluttered open, revealing a ceiling of rough-hewn timber beams. He blinked, confusion warring with a burgeoning sense of dread. Ramen? Konoha? Stimulating experience? Had he finally succumbed to that dodgy street vendor's questionable gyoza?
He sat up, groaning. His back, surprisingly, didn't ache. His body felt… smaller. Younger. He looked down at his hands, tiny, unblemished things. A quick pat confirmed the disturbing lack of his usual beer belly. This wasn't right. This wasn't *his* body.
"What the fresh hell?" he muttered, his voice a reedy squeak.
"Language, Host! We're aiming for a family-friendly rating, mostly," the voice chimed, completely ignoring the adult themes it had just promised. "You are currently 5 years old. Your previous existence has been… repurposed. But fear not! You've been granted the 'Talent Replication System'! Observe!"
A translucent blue screen shimmered into existence before his eyes, a sleek, almost ethereal interface. On it, a cartoonish avatar of a shinobi, complete with a tiny headband, winked.
[Talent Replication System (TRS)]
[Host: Kaito]
[Current Talents: None]
[Replication Points: 0]
[Instruction: Observe individuals to replicate their unique talents and abilities. Proximity is key! The closer, the better the data acquisition. Success rate varies based on talent complexity and target's… *willingness* to share.]
Kaito stared at the screen, then at his tiny hands, then back at the screen. He pinched himself. *Ouch.* Not a dream. He was a five-year-old in what felt suspiciously like the Naruto universe, with a system that promised to turn him into a creepy talent-stealing pervert.
"So, I can just… copy people's skills?" he asked, his voice still too high-pitched for his liking.
"Precisely! From chakra control to cooking prowess, from taijutsu mastery to… *other* more intimate talents," the system purred, the last part laced with a suggestive wink emoji that appeared on the screen. "Imagine the possibilities, Host! The world is your oyster! Or, perhaps, your personal talent buffet!"
Kaito shuddered. "Wait, 'other more intimate talents'? You mean like… bedroom skills?"
"A shinobi's arsenal is vast, Host. And sometimes, the most potent jutsu isn't cast with hand seals, if you catch my drift. *Wink, wink.*"
He groaned, burying his face in his hands. This was going to be an interesting life. Or, more likely, a very short one, ending with him being pummeled by a furious kunoichi for trying to 'replicate' her 'talents'.
He peered around the small, sparsely furnished room. A futon on the floor, a small wooden table, and a single window showing a bustling street. Konoha, alright. The bustling street sounds, the distant shouts of children playing, the general aroma of a thriving village. He spotted a calendar on the wall. The year was 49. Konoha year 49. That meant… the Third Hokage was still around. Tsunade was probably a hot-headed young medic. Jiraiya, a perverted genius. And the Uchiha clan was still a powerhouse.
"Alright, System. What's my first mission?" Kaito asked, resigned.
"Survival, Host! And perhaps, a delicious breakfast! I detect the aroma of freshly baked bread. And… a very strong chakra signature approaching. A potential replication target!"
A knock echoed through the small house. *Knock, knock, knock.*
"Kaito-kun? Are you awake? Breakfast is ready!" a warm, feminine voice called from outside.
Kaito scrambled off the futon, his little legs surprisingly nimble. He opened the door to find a woman with kind eyes and a gentle smile. Her hair was a vibrant shade of red, pulled back in a neat bun, and she wore a simple apron over her traditional Konoha attire. She looked like a civilian, perhaps a shopkeeper or a homemaker. But the system had said…
[Scanning… Target: Akane Sato. Civilian. Primary Talent: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank). Secondary Talent: Natural Charisma (C-Rank). Replication Points Required: 10.]
"Good morning, Akane-san," Kaito said, a practiced politeness flowing from his lips, a residual memory of his past life's social graces.
"Good morning, Kaito-kun! You slept well?" she asked, her smile widening. "Come, come, the miso soup is getting cold."
He followed her into the small kitchen, his eyes darting to her hands as she effortlessly poured soup into bowls, her movements precise and fluid. He focused, concentrating on the words on the screen: *Observe individuals to replicate their unique talents and abilities. Proximity is key!*
He sat at the small table, watching her. He took a bite of the grilled fish. It was perfectly cooked, flaky and seasoned just right. The miso soup was rich, savory, and comforting. This wasn't just good; it was *art*.
"Akane-san, your cooking is amazing," he blurted out, genuinely impressed.
She chuckled, a soft, melodic sound. "Oh, you flatter me, Kaito-kun. Just simple home cooking."
"No, really! It's the best I've ever had," he insisted, his eyes still glued to her hands as she sliced some pickled ginger with an almost surgical precision.
A soft *ding!* echoed in his head.
[Talent Replication Progress: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank) - 5%… 10%… 25%…]
He kept eating, savoring every bite, all the while focusing on Akane's movements, her scent, the way she hummed a little tune as she cleaned the counter. It was strangely exhilarating, this silent, covert acquisition of skill.
By the time he finished breakfast, the *ding!* was practically a constant companion in his mind.
[Talent Replication Progress: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank) - 98%… 99%… 100%!]
[Talent Acquired: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank)!]
[Replication Points Gained: 10!]
"Wow," Kaito breathed, a genuine sense of accomplishment washing over him. He now had the culinary skills of a master chef. He could make gourmet ramen, apparently. This system was legitimately incredible. And terrifying.
"Something wrong, Kaito-kun?" Akane asked, noticing his wide-eyed expression.
"No, just… thinking about what I want to be when I grow up," he lied smoothly. "Maybe a chef!"
She laughed. "You'd be a wonderful one, I'm sure. Now, off you go. Remember your lessons with old Man Tanaka today."
He nodded, feeling a strange mix of excitement and trepidation. He was a five-year-old with the cooking skills of a seasoned pro and a system that could turn him into a god… or a total creep. The humorous potential was immense. The danger, even more so.
***
Weeks turned into months. Kaito, under the guise of an eager young orphan being fostered by the kind Akane-san, explored Konoha. He quickly learned the delicate art of 'observing' without being obvious. He spent hours in the public training grounds, watching shinobi practice. He'd sit on benches, pretending to read a book, while his system worked overtime.
He'd gained 'Basic Chakra Control (D-Rank)' from watching some Academy students. 'Amateur Taijutsu (D-Rank)' from a grizzled chunin. Even 'Expert Gardening (C-Rank)' from an old woman tending her prize-winning bonsai. The system was indiscriminate, and Kaito found himself with a bizarrely eclectic skill set. He could throw a decent punch, climb a tree with surprising agility, and cultivate a perfect tomato.
His replication points slowly accumulated. He was saving them, waiting for something truly impressive. Something that would make him more than just a civilian with a few party tricks.
One sunny afternoon, Kaito found himself near the Konoha Hospital, drawn by the scent of disinfectant and a faint, lingering aura of immense chakra. He saw her then. A woman in her early twenties, with long, blonde hair tied in two loose pigtails, a diamond-shaped mark on her forehead, and a formidable glare that could curdle milk. She was arguing, loudly, with a flustered-looking doctor.
Tsunade Senju. The legendary Sannin.
Kaito's heart hammered. This was it. This was the big one. He sidled closer, pretending to examine a flower bush, all the while his system whirred like a tiny internal supercomputer.
[Scanning… Target: Tsunade Senju. Kunoichi. Primary Talent: Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank). Secondary Talent: Superhuman Strength (S-Rank). Tertiary Talent: Gambling Addiction (A-Rank). Replication Points Required: 500 for S-Rank, 250 for A-Rank.]
Five hundred points! Kaito nearly choked on his spit. He only had 75 points. This was going to take a while. But the potential… S-Rank talents! He had to try.
He spent the next few days 'stalking' Tsunade, always at a respectful distance, always with an innocent child act ready. He'd 'accidentally' bump into her near the hospital, 'get lost' near her favorite sake bar, even 'admire' her from afar while she trained. He saw her effortlessly shatter boulders with a single punch, watched her heal grievous wounds with a glowing green palm. He saw her lose vast sums of money at the local gambling dens, throwing dice with a fierce, almost primal intensity.
The system's progress bar for her talents crawled. *0.1%… 0.2%…* This was going to be a long game. But he was determined. He needed power in this world. He needed to be strong enough to survive, to protect, and perhaps, to indulge in some of the 'intimate talents' the system had hinted at.
One evening, as dusk settled over Konoha, Kaito was heading home, stomach rumbling, when he heard it. A faint, distressed cry. He followed the sound, his civilian instincts telling him to run, but his burgeoning shinobi curiosity pulling him forward.
He found her in a secluded training ground, hidden by dense trees. Tsunade. She was slumped against a tree, her face pale, a trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth. Her breathing was shallow, ragged.
"Tsunade-san!" Kaito cried, rushing forward without thinking.
Her eyes fluttered open, unfocused. "Kid… get back… it's… it's poisonous…"
He saw it then. A small, dark kunai sticking out of her thigh, its blade glinting ominously. A faint purple aura emanated from it. Poison.
[WARNING! Target: Tsunade Senju is in critical condition. Immediate action required. Replication progress for Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank) at 35%. Superhuman Strength (S-Rank) at 28%. Gambling Addiction (A-Rank) at 40%.]
Kaito's mind raced. He had no medical training beyond what the system had managed to glean, which was clearly not enough. But he had an idea. A risky, perhaps insane idea.
"System! Can I force replication? Use all my points, whatever I have, to get as much of her Medical Ninjutsu as possible!"
[Affirmative, Host. Forced replication is possible but incurs a significant penalty to future replication rates for a period. Current Replication Points: 98. Estimated gain for Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank): Up to 50%.]
"Do it!" Kaito yelled, ignoring the system's warning. He didn't have time to think about penalties. Tsunade was dying.
A blinding flash of blue light erupted from his body, enveloping him for a split second. A wave of raw information, complex and intricate, flooded his mind. Anatomy, chakra pathways, medicinal herbs, surgical procedures… it was overwhelming, like trying to cram an entire medical library into his five-year-old brain in an instant.
[Forced Replication Successful! Talent Acquired: Medical Ninjutsu (C-Rank)!]
[Replication Points: 0.]
[Replication Penalty: 72 hours at 50% efficiency.]
C-Rank. It wasn't S-Rank, but it was *something*. He could feel the knowledge, the instinct, now. He knew what to do.
He knelt beside Tsunade, his small hands trembling. He focused his chakra, feeling it gather in his palms, a faint green glow emanating from his tiny fingers. He pressed his hand over the wound.
"Hold on, Tsunade-san," he murmured, his voice surprisingly steady. "Just… hold on."
He concentrated, drawing on the newly acquired knowledge. He could feel the poison, a cold, creeping sensation, spreading through her leg. He focused his chakra, pushing it into the wound, trying to isolate and expel the foreign substance. It was agonizingly slow, a battle of wills against the insidious toxin. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his small body shaking with the effort.
Tsunade moaned, her eyes fluttering open again. She looked at him, a flicker of surprise in their depths. "Kid… you…"
"Shhh," Kaito urged, gritting his teeth. "Just breathe."
He worked, his newly acquired medical instincts guiding him. He carefully extracted the kunai, then focused on drawing the poison out, drop by agonizing drop. It took what felt like an eternity, but finally, the purple aura receded. The wound, though still present, no longer pulsed with the threat of death.
Tsunade coughed, a deep, rattling sound, but her breathing eased. The color slowly returned to her face.
"How… how did you…?" she whispered, her voice raspy.
Kaito slumped back, exhausted. "Lucky guess? I… I just tried to help." He was too tired to craft a believable lie.
Tsunade stared at him, her gaze sharp and assessing, even in her weakened state. She reached out a hand, surprisingly gentle, and ruffled his hair. "You're a strange one, kid. A good one." She managed a weak smile. "Thanks. You… you saved my life."
[Talent Replication Progress: Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank) - 40%… 45%… 50%!]
[Talent Replication Progress: Superhuman Strength (S-Rank) - 30%… 35%… 40%!]
[Talent Replication Progress: Gambling Addiction (A-Rank) - 45%… 50%… 55%!]
The system, ever the opportunist, had clearly taken advantage of their close proximity and the intense emotional moment. Kaito sighed. At least he hadn't gained 'Gambling Addiction' to S-Rank.
He helped Tsunade limp back towards the hospital, supporting her surprisingly heavy frame. He was only five, but his 'Amateur Taijutsu' and whatever residual strength he had seemed to be enough.
"Don't tell anyone about this, kid," Tsunade warned, her voice regaining some of its usual force. "I don't need the Hokage fussing over me. And I certainly don't need anyone knowing I was taken down by some cheap poison."
"My lips are sealed, Tsunade-san," Kaito promised, a small smirk playing on his lips. He had just saved a Sannin. This was going to be an interesting life indeed.
***
Years passed. Kaito grew, both in height and in skill. He entered the Academy at the standard age of eight, already possessing a diverse array of replicated talents. His 'Exceptional Culinary Skill' made him a favorite at potlucks. His 'Basic Chakra Control' and 'Amateur Taijutsu' quickly surpassed his peers. He even replicated 'Basic Genjutsu (D-Rank)' from a particularly bored instructor.
His relationship with Tsunade had evolved into a strange, almost familial bond. She'd occasionally 'borrow' money from him (which he'd earned through odd jobs and selling his surprisingly delicious baked goods), and he'd 'accidently' spill information about her gambling habits to Jiraiya, just to see the ensuing chaos. He continued to 'observe' her, slowly accumulating more of her S-Rank talents, though the penalty from the forced replication meant it was a painfully slow process. He was now at 70% for Medical Ninjutsu and 65% for Superhuman Strength.
He was now 16, a fresh-faced chunin, assigned to a team with a perpetually cheerful kunoichi named Hana and a stoic, quiet genjutsu specialist named Ren. Their sensei was a laid-back jōnin named Koji.
One sweltering summer afternoon, their team was assigned a seemingly mundane escort mission: protect a wealthy merchant's daughter, Lady Aiko, on her journey to a neighboring village for an arranged marriage.
Lady Aiko was… captivating. She had long, flowing black hair, eyes like polished obsidian, and a figure that made Kaito's adolescent hormones do a chaotic jig. She carried herself with an aristocratic grace, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes that hinted at a rebellious spirit.
[Scanning… Target: Lady Aiko. Civilian. Primary Talent: Exceptional Etiquette (B-Rank). Secondary Talent: Master Calligraphy (C-Rank). Tertiary Talent: Untapped Sensuality (A-Rank). Replication Points Required: 250 for A-Rank.]
Untapped Sensuality? Kaito nearly choked on the water he was sipping. The system was truly relentless. And wildly inappropriate. But also… intriguing.
The journey was uneventful for the first few days, a monotonous trek through dusty roads. Kaito spent his time 'observing' Lady Aiko, much
Chapter 1: The System's Sticky Situation
The first thing Kaito registered, before the blinding light or the dizzying lurch in his gut, was the distinct, unmistakable scent of ramen. Not the instant kind, but the rich, savory broth simmering with pork and scallions. Then came the sound, a cheerful, almost annoyingly upbeat, "Welcome to Konoha, Host! Your reincarnation process is complete. Prepare for a truly… *stimulating* experience!"
A disembodied voice, chirpy as a spring robin, echoed inside his skull. Kaito's eyes fluttered open, revealing a ceiling of rough-hewn timber beams. He blinked, confusion warring with a burgeoning sense of dread. Ramen? Konoha? Stimulating experience? Had he finally succumbed to that dodgy street vendor's questionable gyoza?
He sat up, groaning. His back, surprisingly, didn't ache. His body felt… smaller. Younger. He looked down at his hands, tiny, unblemished things. A quick pat confirmed the disturbing lack of his usual beer belly. This wasn't right. This wasn't *his* body.
"What the fresh hell?" he muttered, his voice a reedy squeak.
"Language, Host! We're aiming for a family-friendly rating, mostly," the voice chimed, completely ignoring the adult themes it had just promised. "You are currently 5 years old. Your previous existence has been… repurposed. But fear not! You've been granted the 'Talent Replication System'! Observe!"
A translucent blue screen shimmered into existence before his eyes, a sleek, almost ethereal interface. On it, a cartoonish avatar of a shinobi, complete with a tiny headband, winked.
[Talent Replication System (TRS)]
[Host: Kaito]
[Current Talents: None]
[Replication Points: 0]
[Instruction: Observe individuals to replicate their unique talents and abilities. Proximity is key! The closer, the better the data acquisition. Success rate varies based on talent complexity and target's… *willingness* to share.]
Kaito stared at the screen, then at his tiny hands, then back at the screen. He pinched himself. *Ouch.* Not a dream. He was a five-year-old in what felt suspiciously like the Naruto universe, with a system that promised to turn him into a creepy talent-stealing pervert.
"So, I can just… copy people's skills?" he asked, his voice still too high-pitched for his liking.
"Precisely! From chakra control to cooking prowess, from taijutsu mastery to… *other* more intimate talents," the system purred, the last part laced with a suggestive wink emoji that appeared on the screen. "Imagine the possibilities, Host! The world is your oyster! Or, perhaps, your personal talent buffet!"
Kaito shuddered. "Wait, 'other more intimate talents'? You mean like… bedroom skills?"
"A shinobi's arsenal is vast, Host. And sometimes, the most potent jutsu isn't cast with hand seals, if you catch my drift. *Wink, wink.*"
He groaned, burying his face in his hands. This was going to be an interesting life. Or, more likely, a very short one, ending with him being pummeled by a furious kunoichi for trying to 'replicate' her 'talents'.
He peered around the small, sparsely furnished room. A futon on the floor, a small wooden table, and a single window showing a bustling street. Konoha, alright. The bustling street sounds, the distant shouts of children playing, the general aroma of a thriving village. He spotted a calendar on the wall. The year was 49. Konoha year 49. That meant… the Third Hokage was still around. Tsunade was probably a hot-headed young medic. Jiraiya, a perverted genius. And the Uchiha clan was still a powerhouse.
"Alright, System. What's my first mission?" Kaito asked, resigned.
"Survival, Host! And perhaps, a delicious breakfast! I detect the aroma of freshly baked bread. And… a very strong chakra signature approaching. A potential replication target!"
A knock echoed through the small house. *Knock, knock, knock.*
"Kaito-kun? Are you awake? Breakfast is ready!" a warm, feminine voice called from outside.
Kaito scrambled off the futon, his little legs surprisingly nimble. He opened the door to find a woman with kind eyes and a gentle smile. Her hair was a vibrant shade of red, pulled back in a neat bun, and she wore a simple apron over her traditional Konoha attire. She looked like a civilian, perhaps a shopkeeper or a homemaker. But the system had said…
[Scanning… Target: Akane Sato. Civilian. Primary Talent: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank). Secondary Talent: Natural Charisma (C-Rank). Replication Points Required: 10.]
"Good morning, Akane-san," Kaito said, a practiced politeness flowing from his lips, a residual memory of his past life's social graces.
"Good morning, Kaito-kun! You slept well?" she asked, her smile widening. "Come, come, the miso soup is getting cold."
He followed her into the small kitchen, his eyes darting to her hands as she effortlessly poured soup into bowls, her movements precise and fluid. He focused, concentrating on the words on the screen: *Observe individuals to replicate their unique talents and abilities. Proximity is key!*
He sat at the small table, watching her. He took a bite of the grilled fish. It was perfectly cooked, flaky and seasoned just right. The miso soup was rich, savory, and comforting. This wasn't just good; it was *art*.
"Akane-san, your cooking is amazing," he blurted out, genuinely impressed.
She chuckled, a soft, melodic sound. "Oh, you flatter me, Kaito-kun. Just simple home cooking."
"No, really! It's the best I've ever had," he insisted, his eyes still glued to her hands as she sliced some pickled ginger with an almost surgical precision.
A soft *ding!* echoed in his head.
[Talent Replication Progress: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank) - 5%… 10%… 25%…]
He kept eating, savoring every bite, all the while focusing on Akane's movements, her scent, the way she hummed a little tune as she cleaned the counter. It was strangely exhilarating, this silent, covert acquisition of skill.
By the time he finished breakfast, the *ding!* was practically a constant companion in his mind.
[Talent Replication Progress: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank) - 98%… 99%… 100%!]
[Talent Acquired: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank)!]
[Replication Points Gained: 10!]
"Wow," Kaito breathed, a genuine sense of accomplishment washing over him. He now had the culinary skills of a master chef. He could make gourmet ramen, apparently. This system was legitimately incredible. And terrifying.
"Something wrong, Kaito-kun?" Akane asked, noticing his wide-eyed expression.
"No, just… thinking about what I want to be when I grow up," he lied smoothly. "Maybe a chef!"
She laughed. "You'd be a wonderful one, I'm sure. Now, off you go. Remember your lessons with old Man Tanaka today."
He nodded, feeling a strange mix of excitement and trepidation. He was a five-year-old with the cooking skills of a seasoned pro and a system that could turn him into a god… or a total creep. The humorous potential was immense. The danger, even more so.
***
Weeks turned into months. Kaito, under the guise of an eager young orphan being fostered by the kind Akane-san, explored Konoha. He quickly learned the delicate art of 'observing' without being obvious. He spent hours in the public training grounds, watching shinobi practice. He'd sit on benches, pretending to read a book, while his system worked overtime.
He'd gained 'Basic Chakra Control (D-Rank)' from watching some Academy students. 'Amateur Taijutsu (D-Rank)' from a grizzled chunin. Even 'Expert Gardening (C-Rank)' from an old woman tending her prize-winning bonsai. The system was indiscriminate, and Kaito found himself with a bizarrely eclectic skill set. He could throw a decent punch, climb a tree with surprising agility, and cultivate a perfect tomato.
His replication points slowly accumulated. He was saving them, waiting for something truly impressive. Something that would make him more than just a civilian with a few party tricks.
One sunny afternoon, Kaito found himself near the Konoha Hospital, drawn by the scent of disinfectant and a faint, lingering aura of immense chakra. He saw her then. A woman in her early twenties, with long, blonde hair tied in two loose pigtails, a diamond-shaped mark on her forehead, and a formidable glare that could curdle milk. She was arguing, loudly, with a flustered-looking doctor.
Tsunade Senju. The legendary Sannin.
Kaito's heart hammered. This was it. This was the big one. He sidled closer, pretending to examine a flower bush, all the while his system whirred like a tiny internal supercomputer.
[Scanning… Target: Tsunade Senju. Kunoichi. Primary Talent: Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank). Secondary Talent: Superhuman Strength (S-Rank). Tertiary Talent: Gambling Addiction (A-Rank). Replication Points Required: 500 for S-Rank, 250 for A-Rank.]
Five hundred points! Kaito nearly choked on his spit. He only had 75 points. This was going to take a while. But the potential… S-Rank talents! He had to try.
He spent the next few days 'stalking' Tsunade, always at a respectful distance, always with an innocent child act ready. He'd 'accidentally' bump into her near the hospital, 'get lost' near her favorite sake bar, even 'admire' her from afar while she trained. He saw her effortlessly shatter boulders with a single punch, watched her heal grievous wounds with a glowing green palm. He saw her lose vast sums of money at the local gambling dens, throwing dice with a fierce, almost primal intensity.
The system's progress bar for her talents crawled. *0.1%… 0.2%…* This was going to be a long game. But he was determined. He needed power in this world. He needed to be strong enough to survive, to protect, and perhaps, to indulge in some of the 'intimate talents' the system had hinted at.
One evening, as dusk settled over Konoha, Kaito was heading home, stomach rumbling, when he heard it. A faint, distressed cry. He followed the sound, his civilian instincts telling him to run, but his burgeoning shinobi curiosity pulling him forward.
He found her in a secluded training ground, hidden by dense trees. Tsunade. She was slumped against a tree, her face pale, a trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth. Her breathing was shallow, ragged.
"Tsunade-san!" Kaito cried, rushing forward without thinking.
Her eyes fluttered open, unfocused. "Kid… get back… it's… it's poisonous…"
He saw it then. A small, dark kunai sticking out of her thigh, its blade glinting ominously. A faint purple aura emanated from it. Poison.
[WARNING! Target: Tsunade Senju is in critical condition. Immediate action required. Replication progress for Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank) at 35%. Superhuman Strength (S-Rank) at 28%. Gambling Addiction (A-Rank) at 40%.]
Kaito's mind raced. He had no medical training beyond what the system had managed to glean, which was clearly not enough. But he had an idea. A risky, perhaps insane idea.
"System! Can I force replication? Use all my points, whatever I have, to get as much of her Medical Ninjutsu as possible!"
[Affirmative, Host. Forced replication is possible but incurs a significant penalty to future replication rates for a period. Current Replication Points: 98. Estimated gain for Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank): Up to 50%.]
"Do it!" Kaito yelled, ignoring the system's warning. He didn't have time to think about penalties. Tsunade was dying.
A blinding flash of blue light erupted from his body, enveloping him for a split second. A wave of raw information, complex and intricate, flooded his mind. Anatomy, chakra pathways, medicinal herbs, surgical procedures… it was overwhelming, like trying to cram an entire medical library into his five-year-old brain in an instant.
[Forced Replication Successful! Talent Acquired: Medical Ninjutsu (C-Rank)!]
[Replication Points: 0.]
[Replication Penalty: 72 hours at 50% efficiency.]
C-Rank. It wasn't S-Rank, but it was *something*. He could feel the knowledge, the instinct, now. He knew what to do.
He knelt beside Tsunade, his small hands trembling. He focused his chakra, feeling it gather in his palms, a faint green glow emanating from his tiny fingers. He pressed his hand over the wound.
"Hold on, Tsunade-san," he murmured, his voice surprisingly steady. "Just… hold on."
He concentrated, drawing on the newly acquired knowledge. He could feel the poison, a cold, creeping sensation, spreading through her leg. He focused his chakra, pushing it into the wound, trying to isolate and expel the foreign substance. It was agonizingly slow, a battle of wills against the insidious toxin. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his small body shaking with the effort.
Tsunade moaned, her eyes fluttering open again. She looked at him, a flicker of surprise in their depths. "Kid… you…"
"Shhh," Kaito urged, gritting his teeth. "Just breathe."
He worked, his newly acquired medical instincts guiding him. He carefully extracted the kunai, then focused on drawing the poison out, drop by agonizing drop. It took what felt like an eternity, but finally, the purple aura receded. The wound, though still present, no longer pulsed with the threat of death.
Tsunade coughed, a deep, rattling sound, but her breathing eased. The color slowly returned to her face.
"How… how did you…?" she whispered, her voice raspy.
Kaito slumped back, exhausted. "Lucky guess? I… I just tried to help." He was too tired to craft a believable lie.
Tsunade stared at him, her gaze sharp and assessing, even in her weakened state. She reached out a hand, surprisingly gentle, and ruffled his hair. "You're a strange one, kid. A good one." She managed a weak smile. "Thanks. You… you saved my life."
[Talent Replication Progress: Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank) - 40%… 45%… 50%!]
[Talent Replication Progress: Superhuman Strength (S-Rank) - 30%… 35%… 40%!]
[Talent Replication Progress: Gambling Addiction (A-Rank) - 45%… 50%… 55%!]
The system, ever the opportunist, had clearly taken advantage of their close proximity and the intense emotional moment. Kaito sighed. At least he hadn't gained 'Gambling Addiction' to S-Rank.
He helped Tsunade limp back towards the hospital, supporting her surprisingly heavy frame. He was only five, but his 'Amateur Taijutsu' and whatever residual strength he had seemed to be enough.
"Don't tell anyone about this, kid," Tsunade warned, her voice regaining some of its usual force. "I don't need the Hokage fussing over me. And I certainly don't need anyone knowing I was taken down by some cheap poison."
"My lips are sealed, Tsunade-san," Kaito promised, a small smirk playing on his lips. He had just saved a Sannin. This was going to be an interesting life indeed.
***
Years passed. Kaito grew, both in height and in skill. He entered the Academy at the standard age of eight, already possessing a diverse array of replicated talents. His 'Exceptional Culinary Skill' made him a favorite at potlucks. His 'Basic Chakra Control' and 'Amateur Taijutsu' quickly surpassed his peers. He even replicated 'Basic Genjutsu (D-Rank)' from a particularly bored instructor.
His relationship with Tsunade had evolved into a strange, almost familial bond. She'd occasionally 'borrow' money from him (which he'd earned through odd jobs and selling his surprisingly delicious baked goods), and he'd 'accidently' spill information about her gambling habits to Jiraiya, just to see the ensuing chaos. He continued to 'observe' her, slowly accumulating more of her S-Rank talents, though the penalty from the forced replication meant it was a painfully slow process. He was now at 70% for Medical Ninjutsu and 65% for Superhuman Strength.
He was now 16, a fresh-faced chunin, assigned to a team with a perpetually cheerful kunoichi named Hana and a stoic, quiet genjutsu specialist named Ren. Their sensei was a laid-back jōnin named Koji.
One sweltering summer afternoon, their team was assigned a seemingly mundane escort mission: protect a wealthy merchant's daughter, Lady Aiko, on her journey to a neighboring village for an arranged marriage.
Lady Aiko was… captivating. She had long, flowing black hair, eyes like polished obsidian, and a figure that made Kaito's adolescent hormones do a chaotic jig. She carried herself with an aristocratic grace, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes that hinted at a rebellious spirit.
[Scanning… TargetChapter 1: The System's Sticky Situation
The first thing Kaito registered, before the blinding light or the dizzying lurch in his gut, was the distinct, unmistakable scent of ramen. Not the instant kind, but the rich, savory broth simmering with pork and scallions. Then came the sound, a cheerful, almost annoyingly upbeat, "Welcome to Konoha, Host! Your reincarnation process is complete. Prepare for a truly… *stimulating* experience!"
A disembodied voice, chirpy as a spring robin, echoed inside his skull. Kaito's eyes fluttered open, revealing a ceiling of rough-hewn timber beams. He blinked, confusion warring with a burgeoning sense of dread. Ramen? Konoha? Stimulating experience? Had he finally succumbed to that dodgy street vendor's questionable gyoza?
He sat up, groaning. His back, surprisingly, didn't ache. His body felt… smaller. Younger. He looked down at his hands, tiny, unblemished things. A quick pat confirmed the disturbing lack of his usual beer belly. This wasn't right. This wasn't *his* body.
"What the fresh hell?" he muttered, his voice a reedy squeak.
"Language, Host! We're aiming for a family-friendly rating, mostly," the voice chimed, completely ignoring the adult themes it had just promised. "You are currently 5 years old. Your previous existence has been… repurposed. But fear not! You've been granted the 'Talent Replication System'! Observe!"
A translucent blue screen shimmered into existence before his eyes, a sleek, almost ethereal interface. On it, a cartoonish avatar of a shinobi, complete with a tiny headband, winked.
[Talent Replication System (TRS)]
[Host: Kaito]
[Current Talents: None]
[Replication Points: 0]
[Instruction: Observe individuals to replicate their unique talents and abilities. Proximity is key! The closer, the better the data acquisition. Success rate varies based on talent complexity and target's… *willingness* to share.]
Kaito stared at the screen, then at his tiny hands, then back at the screen. He pinched himself. *Ouch.* Not a dream. He was a five-year-old in what felt suspiciously like the Naruto universe, with a system that promised to turn him into a creepy talent-stealing pervert.
"So, I can just… copy people's skills?" he asked, his voice still too high-pitched for his liking.
"Precisely! From chakra control to cooking prowess, from taijutsu mastery to… *other* more intimate talents," the system purred, the last part laced with a suggestive wink emoji that appeared on the screen. "Imagine the possibilities, Host! The world is your oyster! Or, perhaps, your personal talent buffet!"
Kaito shuddered. "Wait, 'other more intimate talents'? You mean like… bedroom skills?"
"A shinobi's arsenal is vast, Host. And sometimes, the most potent jutsu isn't cast with hand seals, if you catch my drift. *Wink, wink.*"
He groaned, burying his face in his hands. This was going to be an interesting life. Or, more likely, a very short one, ending with him being pummeled by a furious kunoichi for trying to 'replicate' her 'talents'.
He peered around the small, sparsely furnished room. A futon on the floor, a small wooden table, and a single window showing a bustling street. Konoha, alright. The bustling street sounds, the distant shouts of children playing, the general aroma of a thriving village. He spotted a calendar on the wall. The year was 49. Konoha year 49. That meant… the Third Hokage was still around. Tsunade was probably a hot-headed young medic. Jiraiya, a perverted genius. And the Uchiha clan was still a powerhouse.
"Alright, System. What's my first mission?" Kaito asked, resigned.
"Survival, Host! And perhaps, a delicious breakfast! I detect the aroma of freshly baked bread. And… a very strong chakra signature approaching. A potential replication target!"
A knock echoed through the small house. *Knock, knock, knock.*
"Kaito-kun? Are you awake? Breakfast is ready!" a warm, feminine voice called from outside.
Kaito scrambled off the futon, his little legs surprisingly nimble. He opened the door to find a woman with kind eyes and a gentle smile. Her hair was a vibrant shade of red, pulled back in a neat bun, and she wore a simple apron over her traditional Konoha attire. She looked like a civilian, perhaps a shopkeeper or a homemaker. But the system had said…
[Scanning… Target: Akane Sato. Civilian. Primary Talent: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank). Secondary Talent: Natural Charisma (C-Rank). Replication Points Required: 10.]
"Good morning, Akane-san," Kaito said, a practiced politeness flowing from his lips, a residual memory of his past life's social graces.
"Good morning, Kaito-kun! You slept well?" she asked, her smile widening. "Come, come, the miso soup is getting cold."
He followed her into the small kitchen, his eyes darting to her hands as she effortlessly poured soup into bowls, her movements precise and fluid. He focused, concentrating on the words on the screen: *Observe individuals to replicate their unique talents and abilities. Proximity is key!*
He sat at the small table, watching her. He took a bite of the grilled fish. It was perfectly cooked, flaky and seasoned just right. The miso soup was rich, savory, and comforting. This wasn't just good; it was *art*.
"Akane-san, your cooking is amazing," he blurted out, genuinely impressed.
She chuckled, a soft, melodic sound. "Oh, you flatter me, Kaito-kun. Just simple home cooking."
"No, really! It's the best I've ever had," he insisted, his eyes still glued to her hands as she sliced some pickled ginger with an almost surgical precision.
A soft *ding!* echoed in his head.
[Talent Replication Progress: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank) - 5%… 10%… 25%…]
He kept eating, savoring every bite, all the while focusing on Akane's movements, her scent, the way she hummed a little tune as she cleaned the counter. It was strangely exhilarating, this silent, covert acquisition of skill.
By the time he finished breakfast, the *ding!* was practically a constant companion in his mind.
[Talent Replication Progress: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank) - 98%… 99%… 100%!]
[Talent Acquired: Exceptional Culinary Skill (B-Rank)!]
[Replication Points Gained: 10!]
"Wow," Kaito breathed, a genuine sense of accomplishment washing over him. He now had the culinary skills of a master chef. He could make gourmet ramen, apparently. This system was legitimately incredible. And terrifying.
"Something wrong, Kaito-kun?" Akane asked, noticing his wide-eyed expression.
"No, just… thinking about what I want to be when I grow up," he lied smoothly. "Maybe a chef!"
She laughed. "You'd be a wonderful one, I'm sure. Now, off you go. Remember your lessons with old Man Tanaka today."
He nodded, feeling a strange mix of excitement and trepidation. He was a five-year-old with the cooking skills of a seasoned pro and a system that could turn him into a god… or a total creep. The humorous potential was immense. The danger, even more so.
***
Weeks turned into months. Kaito, under the guise of an eager young orphan being fostered by the kind Akane-san, explored Konoha. He quickly learned the delicate art of 'observing' without being obvious. He spent hours in the public training grounds, watching shinobi practice. He'd sit on benches, pretending to read a book, while his system worked overtime.
He'd gained 'Basic Chakra Control (D-Rank)' from watching some Academy students. 'Amateur Taijutsu (D-Rank)' from a grizzled chunin. Even 'Expert Gardening (C-Rank)' from an old woman tending her prize-winning bonsai. The system was indiscriminate, and Kaito found himself with a bizarrely eclectic skill set. He could throw a decent punch, climb a tree with surprising agility, and cultivate a perfect tomato.
His replication points slowly accumulated. He was saving them, waiting for something truly impressive. Something that would make him more than just a civilian with a few party tricks.
One sunny afternoon, Kaito found himself near the Konoha Hospital, drawn by the scent of disinfectant and a faint, lingering aura of immense chakra. He saw her then. A woman in her early twenties, with long, blonde hair tied in two loose pigtails, a diamond-shaped mark on her forehead, and a formidable glare that could curdle milk. She was arguing, loudly, with a flustered-looking doctor.
Tsunade Senju. The legendary Sannin.
Kaito's heart hammered. This was it. This was the big one. He sidled closer, pretending to examine a flower bush, all the while his system whirred like a tiny internal supercomputer.
[Scanning… Target: Tsunade Senju. Kunoichi. Primary Talent: Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank). Secondary Talent: Superhuman Strength (S-Rank). Tertiary Talent: Gambling Addiction (A-Rank). Replication Points Required: 500 for S-Rank, 250 for A-Rank.]
Five hundred points! Kaito nearly choked on his spit. He only had 75 points. This was going to take a while. But the potential… S-Rank talents! He had to try.
He spent the next few days 'stalking' Tsunade, always at a respectful distance, always with an innocent child act ready. He'd 'accidentally' bump into her near the hospital, 'get lost' near her favorite sake bar, even 'admire' her from afar while she trained. He saw her effortlessly shatter boulders with a single punch, watched her heal grievous wounds with a glowing green palm. He saw her lose vast sums of money at the local gambling dens, throwing dice with a fierce, almost primal intensity.
The system's progress bar for her talents crawled. *0.1%… 0.2%…* This was going to be a long game. But he was determined. He needed power in this world. He needed to be strong enough to survive, to protect, and perhaps, to indulge in some of the 'intimate talents' the system had hinted at.
One evening, as dusk settled over Konoha, Kaito was heading home, stomach rumbling, when he heard it. A faint, distressed cry. He followed the sound, his civilian instincts telling him to run, but his burgeoning shinobi curiosity pulling him forward.
He found her in a secluded training ground, hidden by dense trees. Tsunade. She was slumped against a tree, her face pale, a trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth. Her breathing was shallow, ragged.
"Tsunade-san!" Kaito cried, rushing forward without thinking.
Her eyes fluttered open, unfocused. "Kid… get back… it's… it's poisonous…"
He saw it then. A small, dark kunai sticking out of her thigh, its blade glinting ominously. A faint purple aura emanated from it. Poison.
[WARNING! Target: Tsunade Senju is in critical condition. Immediate action required. Replication progress for Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank) at 35%. Superhuman Strength (S-Rank) at 28%. Gambling Addiction (A-Rank) at 40%.]
Kaito's mind raced. He had no medical training beyond what the system had managed to glean, which was clearly not enough. But he had an idea. A risky, perhaps insane idea.
"System! Can I force replication? Use all my points, whatever I have, to get as much of her Medical Ninjutsu as possible!"
[Affirmative, Host. Forced replication is possible but incurs a significant penalty to future replication rates for a period. Current Replication Points: 98. Estimated gain for Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank): Up to 50%.]
"Do it!" Kaito yelled, ignoring the system's warning. He didn't have time to think about penalties. Tsunade was dying.
A blinding flash of blue light erupted from his body, enveloping him for a split second. A wave of raw information, complex and intricate, flooded his mind. Anatomy, chakra pathways, medicinal herbs, surgical procedures… it was overwhelming, like trying to cram an entire medical library into his five-year-old brain in an instant.
[Forced Replication Successful! Talent Acquired: Medical Ninjutsu (C-Rank)!]
[Replication Points: 0.]
[Replication Penalty: 72 hours at 50% efficiency.]
C-Rank. It wasn't S-Rank, but it was *something*. He could feel the knowledge, the instinct, now. He knew what to do.
He knelt beside Tsunade, his small hands trembling. He focused his chakra, feeling it gather in his palms, a faint green glow emanating from his tiny fingers. He pressed his hand over the wound.
"Hold on, Tsunade-san," he murmured, his voice surprisingly steady. "Just… hold on."
He concentrated, drawing on the newly acquired knowledge. He could feel the poison, a cold, creeping sensation, spreading through her leg. He focused his chakra, pushing it into the wound, trying to isolate and expel the foreign substance. It was agonizingly slow, a battle of wills against the insidious toxin. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his small body shaking with the effort.
Tsunade moaned, her eyes fluttering open again. She looked at him, a flicker of surprise in their depths. "Kid… you…"
"Shhh," Kaito urged, gritting his teeth. "Just breathe."
He worked, his newly acquired medical instincts guiding him. He carefully extracted the kunai, then focused on drawing the poison out, drop by agonizing drop. It took what felt like an eternity, but finally, the purple aura receded. The wound, though still present, no longer pulsed with the threat of death.
Tsunade coughed, a deep, rattling sound, but her breathing eased. The color slowly returned to her face.
"How… how did you…?" she whispered, her voice raspy.
Kaito slumped back, exhausted. "Lucky guess? I… I just tried to help." He was too tired to craft a believable lie.
Tsunade stared at him, her gaze sharp and assessing, even in her weakened state. She reached out a hand, surprisingly gentle, and ruffled his hair. "You're a strange one, kid. A good one." She managed a weak smile. "Thanks. You… you saved my life."
[Talent Replication Progress: Medical Ninjutsu Mastery (S-Rank) - 40%… 45%… 50%!]
[Talent Replication Progress: Superhuman Strength (S-Rank) - 30%… 35%… 40%!]
[Talent Replication Progress: Gambling Addiction (A-Rank) - 45%… 50%… 55%!]
The system, ever the opportunist, had clearly taken advantage of their close proximity and the intense emotional moment. Kaito sighed. At least he hadn't gained 'Gambling Addiction' to S-Rank.
He helped Tsunade limp back towards the hospital, supporting her surprisingly heavy frame. He was only five, but his 'Amateur Taijutsu' and whatever residual strength he had seemed to be enough.
"Don't tell anyone about this, kid," Tsunade warned, her voice regaining some of its usual force. "I don't need the Hokage fussing over me. And I certainly don't need anyone knowing I was taken down by some cheap poison."
"My lips are sealed, Tsunade-san," Kaito promised, a small smirk playing on his lips. He had just saved a Sannin. This was going to be an interesting life indeed.
***
Years passed. Kaito grew, both in height and in skill. He entered the Academy at the standard age of eight, already possessing a diverse array of replicated talents. His 'Exceptional Culinary Skill' made him a favorite at potlucks. His 'Basic Chakra Control' and 'Amateur Taijutsu' quickly surpassed his peers. He even replicated 'Basic Genjutsu (D-Rank)' from a particularly bored instructor.
His relationship with Tsunade had evolved into a strange, almost familial bond. She'd occasionally 'borrow' money from him (which he'd earned through odd jobs and selling his surprisingly delicious baked goods), and he'd 'accidently' spill information about her gambling habits to Jiraiya, just to see the ensuing chaos. He continued to 'observe' her, slowly accumulating more of her S-Rank talents, though the penalty from the forced replication meant it was a painfully slow process. He was now at 70% for Medical Ninjutsu and 65% for Superhuman Strength.
He was now 16, a fresh-faced chunin, assigned to a team with a perpetually cheerful kunoichi named Hana and a stoic, quiet genjutsu specialist named Ren. Their sensei was a laid-back jōnin named Koji.
One sweltering summer afternoon, their team was assigned a seemingly mundane escort mission: protect a wealthy merchant's daughter, Lady Aiko, on her journey to a neighboring village for an arranged marriage.
Lady Aiko was… captivating. She had long, flowing black hair, eyes like polished obsidian, and a figure that made Kaito's adolescent hormones do a chaotic jig. She carried herself with an aristocratic grace, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes that hinted at a rebellious spirit.
[Scanning… Target: Lady Aiko. Civilian. Primary Talent: