It's 6:40 am and h haven't slept. I just had a mental breakdown. I have no one to comfort me. Not an "are you okay?" Nothing. My nose is stuffed. Throat sore from crying. I want to scream. I want to be held and told everything will be okay. I want to be vulnerable with someone without being judged or pitied. Is that too much? Would it be wrong to ask for that much? Do I deserve it? Is it okay? I just thought about everything that has happened in my life. I have nothing left. Can someone please love me? Can I just tell my entire story to someone and have them listed to every word while being held? I don't understand. Everyone I know has someone like that. Even the people I hate have a shoulder to cry on. Why not me? Can someone tell me that I'll be okay? Why do I feel so hated? Why am I so angry? Why am I depressed? Why is living so hard? What does it take to be normal? I want to be like everyone else and be happy. Am I repeating myself? I don't know… I just want to feel something other than this depression. I don't remember the last time I've felt genuinely happy. I want that back.
