March 01 - December 31
It has been like a week since I was asked out by Taehyung, which I rejected twice already. Finally, he again asked to date online and to go on one or two dates a month, and after thinking for a while, I accepted him to be my boyfriend. Why not? Even though we have a 10-year gap, he is, after all, most of the girls' dream boyfriend, so it's not both of our losses. As the same goes for me, we decided to keep it a secret from our members. First, I know my members will accept no matter what choice I take, and for this, Koo will either kill him or me if he knows.
I also graduated from SOPA together with Chaeyeon and Haeven. My Family and friends came to the ceremony. Other members wore the uniform so we all could take a photo together.
So in these two months, we chatted online, and it was somewhat funny; he was a clingy old man, who I didn't expect, no matter how busy, he texted me and even shared a daily routine. We went out once, and he came to pick me up with flowers and a gift. We also occasionally will meet in Hybe when I come to for their new girl group debut preparations. I am one of their co-producer, songwriters, and choreographers.
Also, after seeing him at the Grammy Awards with girls, I was quite jealous and threw a little tantrum.
On April 16th and 23rd, we participated in Coachella. We slayed our performances. In the first week, the unnie line had their solo performances, and the maknae line had solos in the second week. We all perform our solo songs. Yuji, Somi, and Hani had their solo releases, and we performed our unreleased solo songs. I had a lot of song scripts, but I rehearsed and prepared for my newly written song, "Unwritten Love," about being in love with someone you shouldn't have. My inspiration was totally from my and Taehyung's relationship.
Taehyung called me after seeing my performance, asking if the song was about him. I just said no, but he teased me and already knew it was about him.
We had a great time in the USA, and Somi and Billie Eilish hit it off after meeting backstage.
I accidentally put Ariana Grande again. I have met her a few times before, and this time I was quite lucky to make her a friend.
After coming back to South Korea, we all decided to stay in our apartments since we would not have many group promotions.
I stayed in my grandparents' house, having lessons about etiquette and more, which I had taken before. I also had shootings.
I also sneak out of my grandparents' house to go on a few dates with Taehyung, and every time he comes to pick me up, he doesn't forget to bring flowers and gifts.
In July, the co-produced group Le Sserafim debuted with the debut song Fearless. I also worked on a few more songs for Hybes and another girl group named New Jeans, which debuted in July. I co-wrote their song Attention.
Our relationship lasted for a few months when we had a group interview in the USA. I was going to join other members after the shootings in China. It happened in August, the second week, Taehyung called me while I was on the way to the airport. He just called and said, "Let's break up." I was surprised and chuckled, and asked not to joke around. He just hung up on me. When I tried to call him back, I received a text saying he had reached a point where he couldn't keep ignoring how my actions had made him feel. He gave so much of himself to me, hoping I'd meet him halfway, but instead, he kept feeling like he wasn't enough for me, and this chapter ends here because he deserves someone who makes him feel valued, not just tolerated."
I was like, what the hell is he telling me? And when I dialed his number, he had already blocked me. I was on the edge of a mental breakdown. It was like I hadn't done anything to him. It was all fine yesterday, and it was true that he is too good. Every time he met me, he gave me the princess treatment, but he was too possessive, and I was debating whether this relationship was healthy or toxic.
It's my first relationship, and I am younger and everything; it was like waking up from a very sweet dream to a brutal reality. The tears were uncontrollable, and they soon got the attention of the people who were in the van: Hyunwoo, Ah Xuan, and Isuki. They were scared and worried about me, but my tears were uncontrollable. No matter what happened, I was never wronged by others.
Finally, I stopped, and Hyunwoo just sighed. Ah, Xuan, giving me another wet tissue, asked me what happened, and Hyunwoo stopped him from asking, which I was glad about.
I was wearing High-waisted, wide-leg leather pants, a fitted black turtleneck top, a shearling-lined leather jacket, Valentino Platform black ankle boots, a structured Prada bag, and simple Prada gold earrings with lady Cartier black. After stopping at the airport, I look at my face on my phone, all puffy from crying.
Hyunwoo gave me a mask. So, I wore the mask, took out my Prada sunglasses, and put them on before going out.
I went to get on board. Usually, I interact with fans, but today, I was not in the mood, and when I was waiting to get on board, I had a second mental breakdown remembering what happened. Finally, Hyunwoo decided to take off his hoodie and give it to me. So I can cover myself with its hood. I took off my jacket and gave it to Hyunwoo and waited.
Later that day, the photos of me crying and everything went viral. Members didn't want to make me upset, and without asking me the reason, they consoled me. Yuji was responsible; she asked me about what happened, and when she got to know everything, the first thing she did was blame me for hiding it. Then console me.
I sent Hyunwoo to pick up Taeha and took her, and decided to hire a pet carer for her.
Aaron and Xingyi both gave a big lecture to me and all. It took me a day to accept the fact that I was dumped by an old man. It makes me furious every time I remember it.
My brother took a leave from his university lectures and accompanied me through the breakup by buying everything I wanted, going shopping, and traveling around the world. He was with me for 3 months. We had fun going to parties, Karaoke. I also ended all my shootings at the end of the year. I also missed half the semester of my school year. I was supposed to start university in August, I went to Harvard to pick up my ID and so on, but missed the remaining after breaking up with Taehyung.
I also applied for a driver's license and got it.
I sang Driver's Licence, Daja Vu, Traitor, Happier, Jealousy Jealousy with changed lyrics in Karaoke. And also ABCDEF by Gayle.
Like usual, we attended the Award shows, getting all the attention ourselves.
I got a 4.1 GPA.
I also moved into Boston with Taeha to live with my brother Ivan. Ivan was living by himself in Boston. The mansion was a gift from our paternal grandparents. It is facing the river, actually, it is part of the bay. He also hired a pet caretaker so I can have a peaceful mind.
I thought owning my apartment in Hannam-dong was luxury at my age, but my brother is making me feel so poor. The mansion is the epitome of opulence, blending ultimate luxury, comfort, and grandiosity. Nestled by the seaside, it features two separate walk-in closets for me and Ivan. My room is a master suite that offers stunning views of the ocean and a breathtaking sunrise.
The estate is vast, with beautifully landscaped gardens, indoor and outdoor pools, and an expansive garage that can hold up to a dozen cars. A private boatyard houses two yachts and two boats, while a serene lake and a golf field add to the property's magnificence. The mansion also boasts a garden house and a guest house for visitors. All around is a large wall that isolates the mansion from the outside world.
The interiors are a world of their own. There's the Great Hall, which serves as the central point of the house, featuring grand architecture and intricate design elements. Dozens of sumptuously decorated rooms fill the mansion, including Bedrooms, bathrooms, and multiple Kitchens, Pantries, Larders, and Butteries for all culinary needs.
For entertainment and wellness, there's a gaming room, martial arts room, gym, movie theater, billiard room, wine cellar, and an indoor spa next to the indoor pool. A dedicated music room offers a space for creativity and relaxation. The mansion also includes a meditation room, yoga room, and oratories, while Gatehouses and Guardrooms ensure security.
While Storerooms, Undercrofts, and Cellars handle storage and utilities. Apartments for important guests and an elaborate banquet hall adorned with a gilded table setting create the perfect venue for celebrations.
The estate includes 13 staff bedrooms and 7 offices, ensuring all aspects of the mansion are meticulously managed. The rooftop has a helicopter pad and a relaxing area, offering panoramic views of the surrounding beauty, while the indoor gardens bring tranquility into every corner of the house.
Ivan also showed me a few of the secret rooms inside the mansion.