Daily Meme
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By the time I got back to the dorms, it was late enough that nobody should've been awake.
Keyword, should have.
I stepped through the front door and immediately froze. Eighteen teenagers stared at me like I had just walked into my own damn intervention.
Kaminari was crouched behind the couch like a raccoon in the fridge. Sero had his phone camera trained on the hallway like he was filming a wildlife documentary. Mina was halfway down the stairs with a fucking bowl of popcorn. Jiro stood with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised like she had been waiting to arrest me for emotional misconduct.
"DID YOU KISS HER?"
Jiro's aux cable was wrapped around her wrist like she was ready to strangle me if I said the wrong thing. Ojiro, to his credit, looked like he was just here for the drama. Even fucking Aoyama was sparkling in the corner, arms folded, brushing glitter off his shoulders.
Yaoyorozu was sipping tea with forced dignity, pretending this had nothing to do with her.
Kaminari grinned. "Well, well, well… if it isn't the gravity-conquering."
"You rehearsed that?"
He pointed at the clipboard. "We made a list."
Toru waved from beside Jiro. "You were supposed to be back an hour ago. Did something happen? Like, say… a kiss?"
"No," I looked at her flatly. "Also, creepy phrasing."
Mina zoomed in with her phone. "C'mon, don't play coy. You know this was coming. It is Uraraka. You two were circling each other like emotionally constipated vultures."
"I told you all she was next," I said, cracking my neck. "This is not news."
Todoroki raised his hand like this was a press conference. "What did she order?"
"What?"
"At the restaurant."
"Shoyu pork ramen. With extra egg. She savored the pork like it was a religious experience."
"…Respectable."
Bakugo pushed him away, "Why the hell are you asking the most boring question?"
Kirishima leaned forward, grinning. "So? Was it a date-date, or another one of your 'coincidentally emotionally revealing character arcs disguised as outings'?"
"It was ramen and caffeine with unresolved tension," I said. "So yeah. Date."
Kaminari fist-pumped. "Let's gooo! That means the list is officially halfway cleared! Yaoyorozu first, Ururaka last!"
Yaoyorozu scoffed. "It was not a date. Although I was the first. We went to a museum. That is cultural enrichment. Not romance."
"You blushed when I paid for lunch."
"Because you were chivalrous!"
Mina snorted. "Still counts."
Tsuyu raised a hand from the beanbag. "Ours was fun."
"You tried to convince me the stingrays were flirting with me."
"They were," she said, deadpan. "You gave them attention. I was jealous."
Toru giggled from Jiro's side. "You know, technically mine wasn't even a date."
"You invited me to your house. You skipped first two bases."
"Because my mom wanted help drawing me. You can see me. That is utility."
"Utility does not come with cookies and homemade melon soda."
She gasped. "Okay, yes, but she gives those to everyone!"
"She said she wished I would marry you."
"She did not." She blushed, covering her face. Though only I could enjoy that. Sucks to suck. "You said poetic things near my father though. That is basically asking for my hand."
The room froze.
"What," Jiro said flatly.
"He is dense," Yaoyorozu muttered.
"Nah, he just acts," Mina grinned. "Toru, you better not believe his obliviousness. He is cunning."
"I am thinking about it," she said with a fake sigh. "The foundation is there."
I narrowed my eyes. "Don't you start."
"Oh, I started the moment you saw me and didn't run. That is the bar, remember?"
Shoji, silently judging from across the room, passed her a thumbs-up.
I glanced at her. "We are not building anything."
She smiled behind nothing.
"Yet," she whispered.
Sero dropped his juice box. Yaoyorozu choked on her tea. Kaminari made the sound of a squeaky balloon losing pressure.
Mina turned then… grinning like a demon on sugar. "Okay, okay, okay, now we talk about me."
"You dragged my injured ass right after the exam and gloated when beat me in Combat Zone."
"Because you were moping." She puffed her chest.
"I was recovering."
"You also said the vending machine was judging you."
"It was."
They all glared.
"Okay," I snapped. "I let you win."
"Oh yeah?" she raised an eyebrow. "Then what is your excuse for losing air hockey, rhythm roulette, and neon pong?"
"I had a sugar crash."
Tsuyu muttered, "It is always the sugar."
"You crashed when I kissed your cheek." Mina said right after.
The room exploded.
Kaminari screamed like someone had proposed marriage.
Yaoyorozu looked murderous.
Sero fell off the couch.
"I knew something happened!" Toru shouted. "You said you didn't kiss!"
"It was the cheek," Mina clarified, all smug. "I was being playful."
"You winked when you did it!" Jiro said. Kaminari, Sero and Izuku nodding. Fucking voyeurs were watching that night.
"I was being super playful."
Bakugo snarled. "I am gonna rip out my ears."
"You want in on the list?" I asked without looking.
"Fuck no!"
"Bro," Kaminari said, clicking his pen, "you've got Yaoyorozu's museum date, Tsuyu's aquarium trip, Toru's art emergency, Mina's post-Provisional chaos, and now Uraraka's food tour. You are like a one-man dating sim."
"I am expanding my support network," I said.
"Support this dick," Bakugo muttered.
"Go explode your own dick, Bitch Boom Bitch. Nah, this combination won't work."
Mina tapped her screen. "We need rankings."
"There will be no rankings," Yaoyorozu said sharply.
"I second that," Tsuyu added, flicking her tongue.
Toru raised a hand. "He still owes me a date."
I looked at Jiro, "Wanna date?"
She shrugged, "I might as well. Nothing fluffy."
I chuckled, "I would dream of it."
She nodded, "Fine."
Seeing them getting more and more crazy with their imagination, I sighed. Loud. Real loud. The kind of sigh that means discipline is coming.
Then I stood.
Rolled up my sleeves.
"Beds now," I said. "Or I am starting spanking."
Mina grinned like she'd just unlocked a fetish. "Ooooh, kinky."
Yaoyorozu's face exploded into red. "W-What?! That is entirely inappropriate-!"
"Why are you blushing then?" Toru sang.
"I AM NOT-!"
Iida stood so fast his chair slammed backward. "That is not an approved disciplinary method in the U.A. handbook! Physical punishment of any kind is a violation of-"
"Iida."
"YES?!"
"Say another word and you are first."
His mouth snapped shut like someone hit the off switch on a malfunctioning Roomba.
Tsuyu sipped her tea. "Ribbit."
Bakugo grimaced like he'd been personally offended by the air. "Fucking psychos."
"Bed, Ground Zero," I warned.
"I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP."
"I will still spank you in it."
"TRY ME, BATBOY!"
Izuku just made a noise. Not a word, just a noise.
Then his eyes widened, he blinked fast, real fast, muttered something about "triggering core memories," and bolted.
Out the door. Gone.
"Did he just-" Kirishima blinked.
"Yup," Sero confirmed. "He ran."
Mina burst into howling laughter. "BRO! You triggered his childhood trauma!"
"He once thought it was a good idea to steal my juice box."
Ojiro stood slowly, hands raised. "Okay, I am going to bed. No need for violence."
Shoji nodded respectfully and vanished into the hallway like a silent monk. Aoyama saluted and disappeared like a magical girl retreating from sin.
One by one, they retreated.... Jiro flicking me off the whole way, Kaminari saluting like I was his drill sergeant, Sato offering me protein bars as a peace treaty.
Mina lingered.
"I could stay," she grinned, waggling her brows.
I stared.
"Last warning."
She giggled and ran.
Yaoyorozu walked past, still red, muttering, "Absolutely undignified... threatening corporal punishment… no standards…"
"Should've let me buy dessert on the museum trip," I called after her.
She squeaked and vanished.
The door clicked shut behind the last one.
Silence.
Finally.
--
And like that, September went by, October arrived. Mom moved into campus with Eri, settling into a new routine like it was nothing. Izuku, Nejire and I visited a lot. Nobody was surprised.
Even my so-called "fame" or "infamy" started dying down. People moved on. The internet found new shit to meme. Heroes went back to work. And Class 1-A? They just found new ways to give me a headache.
I walked into the dorm common area, barely awake, half a cup of coffee in hand. The second I stepped in, Kaminari pointed at me.
"Look who finally crawled out of his bat cave."
Sero grinned. "Damn, you still alive? Thought the Commission finally put you in a chokehold."
"Almost," I muttered, dropping onto the couch. "Would've let 'em if they had coffee."
Jiro kicked my foot off the table. "Get your legs off."
I left them there.
She smacked my shin with her aux cord.
"Alright, alright, damn." I sat up, rubbing my face. "Why are you all awake?"
"It is noon," Yaoyorozu said, clearly holding back judgment.
I groaned. "Hate that."
"You say that every morning," Todoroki said.
"And I mean it every time."
Uraraka sat cross-legged on the floor, flipping through her notes. "Hey, did you see the thing about the Commission's new policies?"
I barely blinked. "Do I look like someone who reads legal shit for fun?"
"They put out a new directive," she continued. "Something about stricter surveillance for hero trainees. Apparently, after 'certain events,' they are re-evaluating their supervision methods."
I stretched. "Wonder who caused that."
Yaoyorozu sighed. "It is obviously about you."
I grinned. "You think?"
Iida adjusted his glasses. "This isn't something to joke about. If the Commission increases restrictions, that could impact all future interns…"
Kaminari snorted. "Yeah, yeah, rules and consequences. Let's not pretend any of us follow every rule to the letter."
Iida frowned. "That is not the…"
"Dude," Sero cut in, "we literally had a whole-ass illegal raid a few months back to save Ryuu's ass. Who's following rules?"
Iida exhaled sharply. "That was an emergency."
Kirishima grinned. "And what is Ryuu's whole deal if not emergencies?"
"Hey," I said, "I don't cause them."
Bakugo scoffed. "You are a walking goddamn emergency."
"Wrong." I took a sip of my coffee. "I am a solution."
"The fuck you are."
Kirishima leaned forward. "So, is that it? Are they just watching you harder, or is there, like, an actual punishment?"
I shrugged. "They can't fire me, so they are just watching."
"Like a parole officer?" Kaminari asked.
"Exactly like that."
Mina hummed. "So if you mess up again…"
"I won't."
Bakugo snorted. "Like hell."
I ignored him.
Jiro poked my shin with her jack. "Okay, but real talk…what's up with Eri?"
"She is fine."
Yaoyorozu raised a brow. "That's all?"
"What do you want me to say? She is a kid. She likes candy. Nejire spoils her. Mom makes sure she eats real food."
"Sounds about right," Uraraka said.
"She still nervous around people?" Kirishima asked.
I nodded. "Getting better, though."
Jiro smirked. "Probably helps that you are all loud as hell."
"Exposure therapy," Kaminari said wisely.
Tokoyami appeared from darkness, nah, he was just sitting like a bird-headed statue, said from the side, "Has she shown signs of Quirk control?"
I shook my head. "Not really. Not pushing her, though."
"Good," Todoroki said.
Sero crossed his arms. "Damn. Feels weird thinking about all that crazy shit from a month ago and now we are just… back to normal."
"Normal?" I snorted. "What part of this class is normal?"
He chuckled. "Fair point."
Kirishima stood up, stretching. "Alright, enough deep talk. Anyone up for training?"
"Not it," I said immediately.
"Lazy ass," Bakugo muttered.
"Correct."
Kaminari cracked his knuckles. "I am in."
The conversation shifted, people splitting off to do whatever. Some went to train, others stuck around. I stayed where I was, finishing my coffee. The dorm felt the same as always…loud, chaotic, full of idiots.
Nothing changed. But it kind of did.
Outside, the world kept spinning. Heroes worked. Villains plotted. The Commission played their games.
Inside?
We just kept going.
--
In the middle of the night, I sat on the roof just above Izuku's room, arms resting on my knees, watching the map on my system screen. The name "Yuga Aoyama" flickered into place again. Same spot. Same time. A couple of nights now, he had been doing this.
I closed the screen and waited.
Soon enough, the awaited shadow appeared, right where I expected, staring straight into Izuku's room.
'The fuck is this creep doing?'
I looked at him for a few seconds, then jumped down, landing right next to him.
Aoyama didn't even flinch. He turned his head, expression unreadable. His usual smugness wasn't there.
"You knew I was coming," he said.
"Yeah." I tilted my head. "You knew I was watching."
He nodded.
I waited for an explanation. He didn't give one.
I glanced at Izuku's window. His room was dark. He probably knocked out hours ago.
"You spying on him or what?" I asked.
Aoyama smiled, but it wasn't his usual 'look at me, I am fabulous' smile. It was off. Small. Forced. "No. Just watching."
"Why?"
No answer.
I sighed. "Aoyama, you standing here staring into a dude's room like a ghost girl in a horror movie is weird as hell. You know that, right?"
He chuckled softly, but it lacked his usual energy. "I suppose it is."
I looked at him again. Really looked. His posture wasn't relaxed. His shoulders were tense, like he was holding something in. The system wasn't flagging him as hostile, but something was definitely off.
"Alright," I said. "You gonna tell me, or do I have to guess?"
Aoyama's fingers twitched slightly at his side. "Would you believe me if I said it is nothing?"
"No."
He let out a small breath. "Figured."
Silence stretched between us.
He took a deep breath. "We are the same, he and I. Both our Quirks harm us due to incompatibility."
The fuck?
I used Analyze on him.
Target: Yuga Aoyama
Quirk: Navel Laser (GIVEN)
Description: Emits a laser from his stomach. Prolonged use causes internal damage.
Strength: 48
Agility: 67
Intelligence: 82
Charisma: 64
Luck: 30
Traits:
Glass Cannon: Strong ranged offense but physically fragile.
Overcompensating: Tries too hard to mask insecurity with bravado.
I stopped.
Given?
--
Hiccup trained Toothless.
Valka saved dragons.
You?
You rode the serotonin rollercoaster
and left the author behind like a rotting yak leg.
Toothless voted, bruh
With claws.
Because he has manners.
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