Alright, brains back on, people.
After whatever that rest was — a dramatic nap montage worthy of an Oscar — we were back on our feet, somewhat refreshed, still confused, and absolutely no closer to solving the universe's worst escape room. I stretched like a cat who had been through psychological warfare, which, to be fair, I probably had.
"Okay," I said, clapping my hands once. "Let's get things together first since my memory is playing 4D chess with me and I've got checkmated in five different universes."
"That sounds...painful," Shinobu muttered.
"Emotionally and spiritually," I replied with a nod. "So, we're under the Chasm, right? Probably deeper. Probably not even on the same dimensional plane anymore. Possibly inside some weird perception-hallucination-memory-warping dimension that plays tricks on us."
Everyone blinked.
Even Itto nodded solemnly, although I was 100% sure he didn't understand a single syllable.
He whispered to Shinobu, "Did he just say we're inside a perception burrito?"
"Not even close," Shinobu muttered.
Yanfei crossed her arms. "You're right. We have to find the Conqueror of Demons as soon as possible. Something about this place doesn't add up. It's like...it's alive. Watching.
Yelan nodded beside her. "It is peculiar. And remember when we first heard Xiao's voice? We were just talking about him."
"That's right," Yanfei agreed, tapping her chin. "I mentioned him to Yelan and boom — his voice echoed through the domain. It's trying to lure us. Playing on our expectations.
I pointed a dramatic finger at her. "So, what you're saying is... the Anemo emo midget isn't actually here, but this place is projecting his voice as bait?"
Paimon floated a little closer to Lumine and whispered, "Why does Shigeru sound so smart?"
Lumine shrugged. "He's like that whenever he's in danger or hungry. Remember? Right now, it's probably the latter."
I squinted at them. "I can hear you, you know. Just because I'm traumatized doesn't mean I'm deaf."
They both quickly averted their eyes and started whistling like two guilty anime side characters.Shinobu cut in. "So what do we do now? We're completely in the dark here."
Yanfei held up a finger. "You guys just follow me."
"Is this a lawyer thing or a genius thing?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, already marching into the old tunnel like a woman on a mission.
Itto raised his hand. "Do we need to sign a contract first?"
"No legal paperwork this time, I promise," Yanfei said. "I can hear Xiao's voice again. Like it's just right in here."
"And we're following the spooky echo because...?" I trailed.
"Because we're stupid," Paimon answered for me.
"Exactly.
We all charged down the tunnel like a bunch of anime protagonists in a filler arc. Right when we turned the corner, we saw it—a swirling, green, glitchy-looking portal. It was pulsing like it had stage fright.
"Oooh, pretty," Itto said. "Do we touch it?"
"No, we do NOT touch—"
"Hey! Xiao!" I yelled before Itto could even think about poking it with his forehead. "You in there, you feather-wearing broody broomstick!?"
A weak voice echoed back. "Shigeru? Everyone? I can hear your voice... Where are you?"
Xiao.
Except he sounded like he just got run over emotionally and maybe physically.
"Don't follow me!" he gasped. "This... this affliction is not meant for mortals. It will harm you all. Leave me—"
"Cut the crap!" I yelled. "You emo drama goblin! Regroup with us before you die a stupid, avoidable death! This place is literally playing horror show with our senses! Just follow our voices!"
Yelan stepped forward. "He sounds close. He might be able to hear us clearly from his side."
Lumine nodded. "Keep talking. He needs to know we're here."
"Xiao!" I shouted. "Do not walk toward the metaphorical or literal light! Unless it's our light! Which is metaphorical. But also literal!"
Paimon chimed in, "That didn't help."
And then, moments later—
The portal shimmered, crackled, and boom — out stumbled one very battered, very real Xiao.
He dropped to one knee, panting, his normally edgy hair now looking like it lost a battle with gravity.
"Xiao!" Lumine rushed forward.
Yanfei gasped. "You're hurt!"
He groaned. "This domain... it's poison. Warping everything. I couldn't tell what was real..."
"You should've listened to me," I said smugly. "See? That's what happens when you don't listen to the guy who talks nonsense with confidence."
Xiao gave me a look that could cause frostbite.
I grinned. "Welcome back to the madness."
Everyone gathered around him. Even Itto looked genuinely concerned.
"Bro," Itto said. "You look like how I feel after Shinobu does my taxes."
"I don't do your taxes."
"Exactly."
Yelan knelt beside Xiao, examining his condition. "We need to patch him up. Fast. Whatever's infecting this place... it's getting stronger."
I looked back at the portal, which was flickering now, like it was mad we stole its emo prize.
"Alright," I muttered. "Next phase begins."
I cracked my knuckles.
"And if this domain thinks it can out-weird me, it better be ready to throw hands."
Alright. Let me just get this out of the way before my brain folds into another origami swan: Xiao is back.
Barely.
Dude looked like he got slam-dunked by a mountain, had a tea party with pain itself, then crawled back through a blender made of karmic debt. If that was a spa day, I want my mora back.
So yeah, we got him back. Yay. Confetti. Balloons. Emotional trauma.
He immediately collapsed like a paper bag in a storm. Lumine knelt beside him while Yanfei tried to assess the damage with her usual legalese mumbling that probably counted as a trauma report. I hovered awkwardly like a broken scarecrow.
"He needs serious rest," Lumine muttered, frowning. "And, um, preferably not here. There's cursed rock juice in the air or something. I'm not a healer, but I know when a mountain reeks of old trauma."
"Why is it always cursed rocks?" I sighed, arms flopping to my sides. "Can't we have one normal mountain in Teyvat? Just one?"
Lumine gave me her usual mix of exasperation and silent amusement. Girl's practically a walking sigh at this point.
That's when Yelan called out. Her voice carried the weight of 'This is not a drill.'
"Lumine. Shigeru. Come here."
I blinked. Still kinda emotionally digesting Xiao's near-death comeback arc.
"You know," I muttered while walking over, "at this point I'm half-expecting the next person to show up will be my evil twin from another timeline who's also a cooking instructor."
"Shigeru, if you do have an evil twin, tell him to pay your tab at Wanmin Restaurant first," Yanfei added, catching up beside me.
"Touché."
Yelan was already standing in her dramatic arms-crossed stance, talking to Yanfei in a tone that screamed 'serious business.'
"Yelan," Yanfei asked, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed in full lawyer mode, "when we first ran into you, you said you had something to do. What were you referring to?"
Dramatic pause. Cue suspense music. The eerie kind you hear in those old documentaries right before someone vanishes into a foggy ravine.
Yelan's eyes narrowed. "I was looking for the truth behind the monster invasion from Khaenri'ah."
My soul made a full u-turn and tried to leave my body.
"Riiight…" I said, dragging the syllable with all the enthusiasm of someone discovering a moldy sandwich in their backpack. "Them again…"
Yelan turned to me. Her gaze was sharp. Calculating. Maybe slightly judging.
"Do you know something?"
I exhaled, hands on my hips, then pointed at my head. "I do. But you know that thing I keep saying? Memory scrambled, brain soup, I'm basically version 1.2 of me? Yeah. I'm incomplete right now. Like, discount Shigeru. Clearance sale edition. You get what you pay for."
"You're not entirely useless," Lumine muttered softly beside me.
I gave her a look. "Wow. Such encouragement. I feel my self-esteem soaring."
Yelan sighed. Like I was the group project partner who said "Don't worry, I got it" and then showed up with glitter glue and a broken dream.
"Please keep everything I'm about to say to yourselves," she said, voice suddenly sharp. "No one else can know. Otherwise..."
She didn't finish her sentence. She didn't have to. Her eyes did all the threatening for her.
I gulped. Yanfei's face turned serious. Lumine's poker face didn't even flinch.
Yelan continued.
"Five hundred years ago, a wave of dark beasts from Khaenri'ah attacked the seven nations of Teyvat. Naturally, Liyue was also affected. Under Rex Lapis' command, the Millelith fought hard to hold the frontline near The Chasm. But these were vicious beasts. This was the most desperate battle Liyue has ever faced."
Yanfei looked down. Her hands clenched slightly. "They don't mention that much in official records... just vague statements. Legal sanitization, probably."
"At the critical moment," Yelan said, her voice softer now, "someone distracted the monsters and led them away. Just when all hope seemed lost... the tide turned. The Liyue army eventually won the war, but many never returned."
And that's when it hit me.
Like, really hit me
Pain stabbed into my skull like I had just tried to read Celestial script upside down while getting electrocuted by Ei's lightning spear.
"Argh—!!" I clutched my head and dropped to my knees. "FUCK! This is more painful than when the Raiden Ei shocked me back in Inazuma! And she didn't even say sorry, by the way!"
Lumine rushed to my side. "Shigeru?! What's wrong?!"
"Head! My everything! Ow ow ow—WHY does remembering stuff feel like getting internally stabbed by history?!"
Yanfei knelt down, worried. "This isn't normal. I mean, unless you're bonded to an ancient artifact or got cursed or something—wait. Did you touch anything weird again?!"
"Do I ever stop touching weird stuff?!" I hissed through my teeth
Lumine grabbed my shoulder. "Breathe, Shigeru. Just breathe."
It hurt. Gods, it burned. I screamed again, because why not? Apparently that's just my brand now.
But then... like a cracked window letting in moonlight... a piece of the puzzle slid into place.
My breathing slowed. My eyes widened.
"I... I remember something."
Yanfei's brows shot up. "What do you mean, 'remember'?"
I looked at Yelan.
"Two of your ancestors... the ones who came back... they went insane. One of those who never came back... was your ancestor."
Yelan's expression didn't change—but her silence was loud. Knowing.
"And one..." I added, my voice barely a whisper, "was the eldest of the Yakshas... Bosacius."
Yanfei covered her mouth. "No way..."
Lumine stepped closer, her voice quiet. "Shigeru... how do you know that?"
I exhaled.
"Because... I think I was there."
Silence.
The kind that makes you feel like even the wind decided it wasn't invited to this party.
My voice shook. "I—I saw them. Not in real life, I think... but back when I was still on Earth. In the game. The cutscenes—they were so vivid. I watched them over and over like they meant something. And now, the moment Yelan spoke, it just... snapped into place. Like those memories weren't from a screen anymore. Like they'd leaked into me, claiming space in my mind that shouldn't be theirs. Like I was remembering an old dream that never belonged to me, yet somehow... it was mine all along."
"You might be connected to more than you realize," Yelan said softly, studying me like I was an ancient scroll with bite marks.
Yanfei whispered, more to herself than anyone else, "This could change a lot of things... if it's true."
"It is true," I muttered, still shaking. "I may not remember everything, but this part... this part feels real. Too real."
Lumine knelt beside me. "Then we figure it out. Bit by bit. Together."
I smiled weakly.
And for once, my head didn't feel like it was trying to reenact the Battle of the Chasm inside my skull.
Yet.
Because let's be real.
This is me.
Trouble's basically my middle name.
Okay, let's just get this out of the way: I nearly died again.
No, not from a giant monster. Not from an abyssal corruption. Not even from slipping on a suspiciously moist rock. No, no. I almost kicked the celestial bucket from remembering plot-relevant lore.
I'm gonna start charging the universe rent for all the brain damage it's been giving me.
So, picture this: Lumine is half-dragging my half-dead emotionally fractured husk of a body back to the group, and I'm limping like I just got rejected by gravity itself.
"Ow. Ow. My pride. My brain. My pride again."
Paimon, ever the emotional support emergency floating lantern, looked at me with her tiny hands on her tiny hips. "What happened to you?! You were gone for, like, five minutes! What did you do, trip into another trauma pit?!"
"Shut it, floating food," I groaned, holding my temple dramatically. "I'm experiencing a major mental breakdown after remembering a plot-relevant event that may or may not make me the next tragic protagonist in a best-selling novel."
Paimon huffed. "Again with his plot-something talk... You need a new hobby."
"I had one," I wheezed. "It was called 'living a normal life.' Then I got isekai'd."
"Seriously, you look like a haunted tofu," added Yanfei, inspecting me with concern. "Did you see a ghost down there? Or become one?"
"Plot ghosts," I muttered. "The most dangerous kind."
"Honestly, Shigeru," Shinobu said as she approached with Itto in tow, her usual calm-but-you're-pissing-me-off tone kicking in. "You look like you tried to fistfight a memory."
"...I kinda did," I whispered. "And the memory won."
"Bro," Itto said, crouching beside me, eyes wide. "You good?"
"Well, I'm clearly not fine," I replied, gesturing vaguely to my whole slumped existence, "but let's just pretend I actually am so nobody has to do an emotional intervention."
Lumine sighed beside me. "He'll live. Probably."
"No promises!" I sang weakly.
"You guys ever consider therapy?" Yanfei asked, mostly to the universe.
"Every day," Lumine and Paimon said in unison.
Just then, Yanfei jogged over again, her tone urgent. "Everyone! Conqueror of Demons—Xiao—he's awake."
Instantly, I straightened up. Well. I tried to. What actually happened was more of a tragic wobble.
"Perfect," I muttered. "One karmic ghost boy, now out of the oven. Crispy but conscious."
With every ounce of leftover dignity, I forced myself to stand and stumbled toward Xiao's resting spot like a grandma on roller skates.
"Careful!" Shinobu called out. "You're gonna faceplant into his trauma."
"If I die again, tell Dainsleif I want my funeral to have cake," I muttered.
He was sitting up, pale as the moon, looking like he just remembered every bad decision he's ever made. Which, for Xiao, is probably a lot.
I gave him a weak wave. "Waddup, man. Care to share what you've experienced down here before we picked up your almost-dead body like a heavily discounted artifact drop?"
Xiao glanced up at me, his expression solemn. The man radiated Serious Business Energy.
"I swear if he starts with 'Long ago, in a realm beyond time...' I'm out," I muttered to Lumine.
"Be nice," she whispered. "He did almost die."
"So did I! Where's my dramatic monologue?"
"You have one. Constantly."
Touché
Xiao sighed. Deeply. Gravely.
"Listen carefully to what I'm about to tell you..."
__________________________
End of Chapter 79
Quests Completed:
* Find Xiao before he becomes karmic dust.
*Learn the classified history behind the Khaenri'ah invasion and Yelan's lineage.
* Unlocks critical memories (and migraines). Yelan reveals a Liyuean tragedy. Yaksha secrets are unearthed. Xiao wakes up at the worst time, as usual.
*Survive a traumatic memory dump.
Rewards:
*+1 Unlocked Plot-Relevant Memory (Trauma Included)
*+3 Lore Points: (Khaenri'ah Invasion | Millelith Frontlines | Bosacius' Fate)
* Access to Classified Yelan Lore
*-10 Sanity Points (Shigeru Exclusive)
*New Camp Rest Point Unlocked: "Post-Traumatic Memory Recovery Den"
*Xiao (Awakened, Brooding, Emotionally Unavailable Edition) Rejoins the Party