We gathered in the cave like a support group for emotionally compromised individuals—except the snacks were trauma and the drinks were tears.
All eyes were on Xiao, the resident sad boy supreme, who had just woken up from a nap so emotionally exhausting, it could probably qualify as a near-death experience. He sat there, brooding like a drama main character, his face set in that classic "I have seen things" look.
He sighed. Loudly. Soulfully. Existentially.
"It was... a senseless battle," he muttered, voice like a wind chime caught in a storm. "I came here looking for someone. But when I found them... they weren't anything like how I expected."
DUN DUN DUN.
Before I could hit him with a follow-up quip, Yanfei raised a brow and chimed in with Lawyer Voice. "Madame Ping says you usually stay near Wangshu Inn to guard the main road through Dihua Marsh. It's unusual for you to go looking for someone yourself... Are they an adeptus?"
I raised my hand like I was in class. "Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I literally explained this after my brain got punched in the metaphorical guts by a memory sequence of doom. Remember? One of the people who didn't make it back from wherever-hell-we-are is a Yaksha named Bosacius."
Xiao's eyes widened so fast I thought he'd unlock a new Vision. Next thing I knew, he grabbed me by the collar and yanked me forward like an overexcited crane machine.
"You know Bosacius?!" he demanded, shaking me like a plushie he paid 400 primos for. "Tell me where he is!"
"WHOA WHOA WHOA!" I flailed dramatically. "Calm down, Little Guy! I said I know he got trapped in here, not where exactly! And I don't know what happened after he got booted into this underground hellhole!"
"Xiao," Yanfei warned softly, "Let him go. He's not your enemy."
Lumine immediately grabbed Xiao's wrist, her golden eyes narrowing. "Let him go..."
Xiao blinked. And released me.
Meanwhile, I was dying inside. Not from being nearly yeeted into the dirt, but from the fact that Lumine had just defended me like an anime heroine stepping between two guys about to duel.
I looked at her, then gave her a subtle nod like, "It's okay, my beloved, he can touch me for a bit, I allow it."
But inside?
I WAS SCREAMING.
THAT'S. MY. BLONDIE!
Before we could dwell on my inner opera of love and chaos, Itto piped up. "Wait, wait, wait. So this Bosacius guy is like Xiao's big bro? Are we talking serious bro-bro energy or like... 'I see you once every decade' kinda vibe?"
"He was like a mentor to us," Xiao replied quietly. "The strongest of the Yakshas. He watched over the rest of us... until the karma consumed him."
"That's rough, buddy," Itto muttered.
Back to serious mode: I looked at Xiao, tried to put on my I-totally-understand-you face (which is rare and difficult to achieve), and said, "Look, I get how you feel, man. I mean, you lost a literal brother. And the rest of your family, too."
I reached out and draped my arm across his shoulder like I was giving him a life lesson and not risking my spine being pressure-pointed into another dimension.
Xiao sighed again, softer this time. "You're right... You see..."
He glanced around at everyone like we were all getting inducted into the Yaksha Sad Lore Club.
"I came down here hoping to see Bosacius. His body was never found, so I thought... maybe... he was still alive. We Yakshas deal with gods' remains all the time. The karma—it builds. Overtime, it drives us to madness. The last time I saw Bosacius... was the day he lost his mind. He left. No one knew where he went. I never heard from him again."
Oh no. Not the emotional piano music in the background of my brain again.
"But Bosacius," Xiao continued, "he was the eldest. He once told us that as Yakshas, we would fight countless wars. Whether we live or die, we must promise to take care of each other... and know each other's fate to the very end."
Yelan, who had been watching in silence, finally spoke. "So this is closure. Or at least... the beginning of it."
Yanfei, ever the diligent student, asked gently, "Did he forget his promise... because he lost his sanity?"
Xiao nodded. "It's possible. But I didn't. I'm the sole survivor. It's my duty to find out what happened to the others."
I wiped a fake tear from my eye. "Such a sad story, ain't that right, compadre?"
"Yeah..." Itto muttered beside me, also wiping his eyes. "Real manly tears..."
Shinobu sighed deeply, like she was regretting all her life choices. Lumine looked so done with us, I was pretty sure she mentally filed for emotional divorce. Even Ushi gave a depressed moo.
And Yelan?
Still in the corner. Arms crossed. Eyes sharp. Probably thinking about taxes. Or butts. Probably both.
Yanfei's voice dropped a bit. "We're going to help you, Xiao. Whatever happened... you won't face it alone."
Xiao looked down for a moment. Then nodded.
I nodded like a sage. "Great, great. So we get it now. And the reason you're here in this Chasm of eternal sadness is 'cause Bosacius was last seen heroically fighting in this very place, right?"
Xiao gave a serious little nod.
"Aaaand... you actually managed to find him, huh?" I asked slowly.
He hesitated.
That hesitation said everything.
I squinted. "You ended up fighting him, didn't you?"
Xiao didn't answer.
I slapped my hands on my hips like an old lady about to sweep the yard. "I see now."
Yanfei muttered quietly, "That must've been devastating. To face the one you were hoping to save..."
Lumine whispered, "But he's still here, right? In some form. Maybe we can still reach him."
Cue dramatic anime wind.
I stretched like I was about to run a marathon despite the fact that emotionally, I just fell down ten flights of stairs. "Alright. Time to finish whatever boss fight or emotional dungeon finale awaits in this underworld. Let's close this chapter, folks. Preferably without any more sudden collar-grabbing."
Xiao gave a faint smirk.
Itto raised his hand. "Question: if this is a dungeon, can we get treasure after? Like mora? Food? A cool hat?"
Shinobu pinched the bridge of her nose. "Boss... please don't ruin the moment."
Yanfei sighed. "Itto, please."
Lumine just looked at me like she was trying to decide if she should push me into a pit or marry me.
Hopefully both.
***
You know that moment when you think, "Alright. Let's pack up. We've overstayed our welcome. Time to get the heck out before things go full cosmic horror"? Yeah. That was exactly what I was about to say.
"Alright, let's go—"
And of course, right on cue, Mister Dramatic Lantern Boy Xiao had to cut me off like I just insulted the wind.
"I only rejoined to warn you that it's extremely dangerous here," he said with that hushed, I-have-suffered tone. "If you stay here too long… this place will devour you."
…
Bro.
Devour??
Okay, let's not lie. That sounds metal as hell. Like, yeah, "this place will devour you" is definitely a phrase you drop right before a boss fight or a metal concert. But unfortunately for Xiao, I had already consumed way too many danger-flavored trauma snacks today, so this didn't even phase me anymore.
I grinned. "Come on, man. Let's just do this together."
Lumine raised a brow. "You sure you're okay?"
"Physically? No. Mentally? Also no. But that's not the point."
Xiao's eyes narrowed.
"Listen, first things first, even if you say we have to get out of here, we can't. Because—you know what? We don't know how. We're just as clueless as you are. Even though I supposedly experienced this quest before, my memories are a bit scrambled eggs with extra distortion sauce. So if we're going to push forward…" I pointed at all of us dramatically. "We gotta do it together."
Yanfei adjusted her hat. "That distortion thing's getting worse, huh?"
"Yup. Every time I try to remember, it's like someone smacked me in the face with a broken television."
"I would like to see that," Xiao muttered.
"…Excuse me???"
Xiao, ignoring my righteous offense, stepped forward like he was about to recite an ancient poem.
"That's where you are wrong," he said, eyes glowing. "There is indeed a way to get you out of here. A single blast that can create a very small opening. To send you back to the outside world, I may need to continuously channel power in order to keep the tunnel open."
"Wait, like… a portal?" I tilted my head. "You're telling me you have fast travel this whole time and didn't say anything?!"
"I did not say it was fast. I said it was small. Temporary. Dangerous."
"Oh so like Mondstadt's public transport system. Got it."
"I know how to fight to the bitter end," he continued seriously. "I can do this."
Lumine suddenly turned serious. "But if this takes all the energy you have, you'll…"
"Die?" I helpfully supplied.
"Not helping," she hissed.
Yanfei stepped forward, looking visibly shaken. "No! No way! Even if what you're saying is true, I can't agree to this!"
"Paimon neither!" she cried. "It's not much of an escape plan if we've gotta leave someone behind!"
"Yeah!" Itto added. "That's not how this friendship in a gang goes, Xiao!"
And while everyone was arguing, I did the most reasonable thing I could think of:
I laughed.
Like. Laughed.
The kind of laugh that makes villains pause and rethink their life decisions.
Everyone turned toward me.
"Shigeru?" Lumine whispered.
Yanfei blinked. "He's doing the evil laugh again."
"Yup," Paimon said. "We've entered the part of the quest where Shigeru gets philosophical and slightly unhinged."
"You say you know how to fight to the bitter end, right?" I asked Xiao, still smiling. "Don't make me laugh."
"I didn't."
"Don't metaphorically make me laugh either."
Xiao frowned.
"You don't know how to fight to the bitter end. What you're doing is the opposite. You're so scared, you're willing to throw your life away. Willing to vanish because it's easier than struggling to live. Lay down your burden and leave for good. That's not bravery, Xiao."
"That's cowardice."
The air went still.
Even the distortion around us seemed to freeze.
Yanfei muttered, "Shigeru, maybe dial it back—"
"No." I stepped closer to Xiao. "If you really know how to fight to the bitter end, you'd struggle. You'd crawl. You'd fight tooth and nail just to survive."
I stood in front of him, taller, my shadow casting over him like I was a slightly emotionally unstable anime protagonist.
"If you're really brave enough," I said, voice calm now, "then show me your will to live. Continue your duty. On behalf of your brothers and sisters."
I looked him in the eye.
"Cling to life. Walk toward the future they weren't able to witness. Then, and only then, will you understand what fighting with everything you've got truly means."
Everyone went silent.
Even Paimon didn't speak.
Which was terrifying.
Xiao didn't say anything for a long time. He looked down, then at his hands, as if for the first time, realizing how tired they looked. How burned out. How hollow.
"You fight with your fists," I said. "But the hardest thing to do is fight with your heart."
He finally spoke.
"…You are an idiot."
"Guilty as charged," I replied.
He closed his eyes. "But you are right."
Lumine smiled faintly. Yanfei let out a huge sigh. Paimon sniffled.
"Oh no…" I blinked. "Paimon are you crying?"
"No!" she yelled. "You're crying!"
"I am not!"
"Yes you are!"
"Lies! I'm just sweating from my eyeballs!"
"You're a dummy," Yanfei said, laughing. "But a brave one."
Xiao turned to me. "Then… we proceed together?"
"Hell yeah we do." I slapped his shoulder. "No more of this noble sacrifice nonsense. You try that again and I'm dragging your dramatic self out of the abyss personally."
"Noted."
"Alright team!" I pointed ahead. "We've got no exit, a collapsing dimension, a walking trauma lantern, and exactly zero clues! But you know what we do have?"
"…An idiot for a leader?" Yanfei offered.
"An emotionally unstable support system?" Lumine added.
"Emergency food," Paimon whispered.
I held my hand to my chest dramatically.
"Each other," I said.
There was a pause.
Then Xiao muttered, "…I regret this already."
And we all walked forward into the unknown
Together
Even if the world was falling apart.
Even if the distortion was growing.
We kept going.
Because we had something stronger than portals, stronger than sacrifice, stronger than logic.
We had friendship.
And a slightly unhinged idiot named Shigeru to carry the torch.
_________________________
End of chapter 80
Quests Completed:
*Stay mentally stable despite distortion, voices, and memory breakdowns.
*Create emotional cohesion among the entire team during high-stress crisis.
*Convince Xiao to abandon his self-sacrifice.
*Reignite the will to keep going in everyone.
Rewards:
*+100 Primogems
*Friendship Bonus: Xiao +10
*+6 Character bonds with Lumine
*+4 Character bonds with Paimon
*+8 Character bonds with Itto
*+3 Character bonds with Yanfei
*+1 Character bonds with Yelan
*Unlocked Emote: "Shigeru's Mental Breakdown Laugh"
*Gallery Unlock: "Group Selfie in the Distortion"