"Alright. Let's get the hell out of this hellhole."
Yes. Those were my exact words. Inspirational, I know. Someone should tattoo them on a rock.
We were stuck. Yeah, still stuck. No visible exit. Just endless cracked walls, glowing fungus, cursed air, and whatever spooky echo thing that keeps whispering, "You will never escape..."
Like shut up, Brenda. You're just the wind.
"There's no way out," Lumine said quietly, scanning the space like the world's most beautiful human sonar.
Yelan clicked her tongue. "Unless we want to start digging."
Yanfei raised a hand. "Legally speaking, I don't think breaking sacred ancient architecture is advised."
"Legally speaking," I muttered, forming Geo on my hands, "I'm about to break sacred ancient architecture with extreme prejudice."
Itto thumped his chest. "YEAH! LET'S BUST OUTTA HERE! FINALLY! A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART!"
Shinobu, already exhausted, sighed through her nose. "Can we at least check if there's a mechanism first before Mr. Walking Recklessness over there caves us in?"
Xiao, who had been eerily quiet, finally spoke. "This place reeks of corrosion. Whatever formed this domain… it wants you to waste your strength."
"Oh. That's cute," I replied. "Too bad I'm already an expert in wasting energy."
"If we can't find a way out," I cracked my knuckles. Geo formed around my fists with a familiar hum. Then I slammed in some anemo swirl to spice it up. Then a dash of electro. Because why not? Chaos is flavor.
"Then we'll MAKE our own!" I yelled—and punched the wall like my life was a budget anime episode.
BOOM!
The wall cracked. No. It disintegrated. Fell apart like it owed me mora. And behind it?
A dark tunnel. A way out.
"Oh… would you look at that," I muttered. "A new path.
Then I promptly dropped to one knee.
Because I. Was. Drained.
"What the actual fuck just happened?" I wheezed. "Why does one punch cost me an entire week's energy?!"
It felt like I ran a marathon while simultaneously juggling flaming onions.
Yelan caught me by the arm before I faceplanted into oblivion. "It seems this place is still taking a toll on you."
Ya think??
"Thanks, Captain Obvious," I grumbled. Lumine helped me up too, her touch somehow making my vision slightly less blurry. Not that I was gonna say that out loud.
Xiao appeared beside me without a sound, staring at the wall I'd just demolished. "...Reckless. But effective."
"Aw, thanks, Dad."
"I am not your—"
"You are now. Congratulations."
I stood up, legs shaking, pride still clinging on like a stubborn cockroach.
"That's how you fight tooth and nail against fate," I said, pointing into the tunnel dramatically. "Let's go!"
And so, we went.
Into the tunnel.
Into a new path.
Which led... to ANOTHER passage.
"...Oh my god," I whispered. "Another passage."
We walked through that one too. Because we're brave. Stupid, but brave.
And guess what?
It opened into... ANOTHER DOMAIN.
A new cursed domain.
With new enemies. New traps. New furniture. Probably cursed IKEA chairs.
"I hate my life," I muttered.
Paimon floated beside me. "Paimon thinks you should've saved your energy before acting cool and punching walls."
"I am cool," I replied, hands on my hips, slightly wobbling. "I'm like 80% cool, 20% dying."
"It's more like 10% cool, 90% delusion."
Rude.
Inside, the domain was dimly lit with torches that screamed "I'm haunted." The floor glowed faintly. I swear it hissed at me.
"Anyone else feel like we're inside a stomach?" I asked. "Like, maybe the Abyss swallowed us, and now we're just... digesting."
Yelan stared at me like I just grew a second head. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"So many things, Bow Mommy. So many. But that's not the point."
Yanfei blinked at the walls. "Honestly, this doesn't match any architecture I've seen. This place shouldn't even exist..."
"Well, it does," Itto grinned. "And I'm gonna punch it in the face."
"Can someone please NOT punch something for five minutes?" Shinobu muttered.
Suddenly, there was a sound.
A creaking groan.
Something was waking up.
I turned to the others. "If it's another Abyss Lector, I'm quitting. I'm done. I'm leaving this story. I'm moving to Mondstadt and starting a wine business with Diluc."
Lumine whispered, "Shigeru—look."
A large stone gate ahead began to open on its own.
Xiao's hand went to his mask. "Brace yourselves. Something's coming."
I backed up. "Nope. Nuh-uh. I'm not emotionally prepared for whatever this is."
Paimon sighed. "We never are."
I looked at everyone—battle-worn, exhausted, still somehow standing.
And I thought, not for the first time: I miss when my biggest problem was trying to make eggs without setting the pan on fire.
Now it's abyssal stomach domains and surprise boss fights.
Life is pain.
...But at least I have front-row seats to my own insanity.
***
Look, I have walked into Domains that looked like pure depression mixed with death and an unpaid tax bill. So naturally, when we stepped into this one, I expected doom. Maybe a few rotting skeletons. A cursed sword floating in the air. You know, the usual Wednesday morning kind of vibe.
But instead?
"...What the hell," I muttered, blinking stupidly as I took it all in.
Trees.
Birds.
Sunlight.
A breeze so clean it almost made me cry.
Yanfei stood beside me, slowly rotating like she was trying to process a 3D render of the environment.
"What is this place?" she murmured.
Lumine murmured beside her, voice echoing with awe. "What a weird and... wonderful scene. Spacetime here is completely chaotic."
Yeah, no kidding. Where were the cursed statues? Where were the screams of regret echoing in the background? Why did this Domain feel like a Ghibli film?
"Damn," I whispered, arms behind my head, swaying lazily like I was ready to build a summer cottage. "I want to stay here. Maybe open a yakitori stall. Name it 'Shigeru's Skewers and Regret.'"
Itto whistled, eyes gleaming. "Yo, this place is perfect for a beetle arena! Right, Shinobu?!"
Shinobu sighed. "We're not staying here to host a tournament, Boss."
Then Yanfei, being the classic lore-detective she is, narrowed her eyes at the horizon. "...Look at that huge disc in the distance. Wait, is that—" She gasped. "Is that the Fantastic Compass?!"
My soul screamed before I did.
Pain. Like, the ow-ow-my-brain-is-being-scrambled-like-eggs kind of pain. A shrieking pressure stabbed through my skull and I clutched my head.
"GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH—THIS PAIN BROUGHT ME MORE TRAUMA THAN FIGHTING DVALIN IN HIS CURSED LAIR!" I shrieked. "MY BRAIN IS DOING PARKOUR AND I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR THIS!"
Lumine and Yelan were instantly by my side like two overqualified nurses. Lumine grabbed my arm, Yelan held my back, and I was just there—dying theatrically.
"Are you okay?!" Shinobu asked, rushing over.
"Someone get him water! Or milk! Or emergency soba!" Itto panicked.
"Goddamn it," I growled through my teeth. "I remembered everything now."
I grinned.
And then I saw them.
The Treasure Hoarders.
Oh, bless their useless souls. They were digging around like they were looking for spare change under the couch. But they had no idea what they were unearthing.
My eyes landed on the partially-buried Fantastic Compass.
"The solution to our problem... has finally come," I muttered like an anime protagonist who just leveled up emotionally and physically.
I drew my sword.
Cue the butt-kicking montage.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"HE'S UNHINGED! HE'S UNHINGED!"
"I'M NOT EVEN A REAL HOARDER, I JUST NEEDED PART-TIME WORK!"
Yeah, well, consider this your last shift.
I whacked, smacked, and yeeted them out of existence. One of them tried to swing a shovel at me.
"Really?" I asked, parrying it and spinning behind him. "A shovel? This is not Animal Crossing, my dude."
Once the dust settled and the groans of the defeated filled the air like soft background music, I turned back to my friends, sword gleaming with righteous chaos.
"This is it, everyone!" I declared, hair probably windblown and sparkly like I rehearsed this in the mirror. "Ready to leave this hellhole?!"
Yelan, wiping her daggers, raised a brow. "How exactly?"
"With this baby," I said, slapping the side of the Fantastic Compass like it was a magical car. "The Fantastic Compass, also known as the 'Please-Get-Me-Out-of-Here Button.'"
Yanfei crossed her arms. "You better explain how this works, or we're not touching that thing."
It's not just a mystical artifact. It's a timey-wimey space donut. You insert enough trauma and spiritual energy into it, and BAM—it takes you to the past. Or memory fragments. Or that one time I forgot my wallet in Liyue and cried in a bush.
"We're going to use it," I explained, now sounding way smarter than I felt, "to dive deep into the recorded memories, uncover the source of the corruption, and unlock a path back. Easy, right?"
"Define 'easy,'" Xiao muttered, already limping.
"Define 'optimism,'" I shot back.
"This is going to be dangerous," Shinobu said. "Everyone needs to stick together."
"Except me," Itto said, flexing. "I'll just punch the time ghosts!"
"Please don't," Yanfei muttered.
What followed was a montage of pain.
We were yeeted through time.
Each turn of the compass was like riding a cosmic blender. One moment we were in a peaceful glade. Next, BOOM—abyssal monsters! BOOM—visions of Bosacius and Boyang! BOOM—some dead guy named Vitras who was just Bosacius himself yelling about duty and sacrifice and needing more moisturizer!
Echoes of sorrow filled every step.
"Shigeru, don't wander off," Lumine wared.
"I'm not wandering! I'm... strategic scouting."
"You're chasing butterflies."
"Exactly. To boost morale."
"Get back here before I throw you into the void myself," Yelan snapped.
Monsters came, and we fought. Phantoms emerged, and we clashed. And Xiao... Xiao got hit bad.
Blood. Grit. Pain.
He stumbled, and Itto caught him. "Whoa, easy, dude. You're not looking great."
"I'm fine," Xiao grunted. "Focus on the path ahead."
I gritted my teeth and helped hold the line, back-to-back with Lumine.
"We can't give up now," I said, eyes locked on the compass spinning wildly.
"Then we push forward," Yanfei nodded. "Together."
We pressed forward.
Until finally—finally—after slashing down the Phantom of Bosacius, the path cleared. The debris burying the compass was gone.
We stepped into the last domain.
Nothingness.
A white, empty void.
Even my sarcastic brain paused.
Lumine looked around, eyes soft. "This... this feels like it involves my memories."
We walked.
Then—
"Aether?!" Lumine cried, running forward.
But like mist, he vanished.
And at the center of this eternal blankness...
A small compass. Simple. Still.
I approached it. My footsteps echoed like fate was holding its breath.
"Let's go," I muttered.
I picked it up, feeling its warmth hum into my hand.
"Time to leave this place."
Behind me, everyone was quiet.
I turned.
"I call dibs on the first bubble bath when we get out."
Lumine let out a soft, tired laugh. Yelan shook her head, muttering something about "idiots with death wishes." Xiao—bleeding, scowling—rasped, "I want silence."
"Same thing," I said with a shrug.
Itto raised a hand. "I want hot pot."
"We'll get hot pot, a bath, and seven days of sleep," Shinobu added.
"And a lawyer," Yanfei sighed. "Because I swear, this domain broke at least ten safety laws."
I deadpanned, "Aren't you a lawyer?"
And just like that, with a flicker of light—
We were gone...
Back to our camp, where else?
_________________________
End of Chapter 81
Quests Completed:
*Punch your way out and accidentally create a new path that leads to more doom.
*Endure a memory-triggered episode and regain lost memories about the Chasm. Again.
*Witness the fragmented memories of Boyang, and Bosacius.
*Fight off time-warped Abyssal phantoms spawned from emotional energy and residual guilt.
*Witness Lumine's fading memory of Aether in the domain.
Rewards:
*Memory Fragment: "Chasm Tragedy" (unlocked)
*+3 Drama Points
*Knowledge of the Fantastic Compass
*1 Team Respect (They still think I'm crazy, though)
*Yaksha Echo Recognition
*Confirmed Theories About Domain Drain