The Land of Earth was filled with towering mountains, especially around Iwagakure, which was surrounded by jagged cliffs and steep terrain. It had always been a fortress—easy to defend, hard to attack.
But high mountains couldn't stop birds in flight.
Deidara and Sasori stood atop a massive clay bird as they soared through the skies, silently infiltrating the Land of Earth from above.
As they passed over a border town, they noticed something odd—a vast plaza had been constructed in the city center. At its heart stood a large, circular altar, and atop that, a grand statue.
It stood out just as much as the Hokage Rock in Konoha, but neither Deidara nor Sasori had any interest in such things. They didn't appreciate that kind of "art." To them, it was just scenery—at best worth a casual glance.
But that one glance was enough to break Deidara's composure.
He stared like he'd just seen something completely absurd, fiddling with the mini telescope embedded in his left eye, adjusting it repeatedly to confirm he wasn't seeing things.
"What's wrong with you?" Sasori finally asked, unable to contain his curiosity.
Deidara's face twisted into a truly bizarre expression—pure facial comedy—as if he were doing everything in his power not to burst out laughing.
"Who the hell... built a statue of that old fart Ōnoki, the guy who doesn't understand art at all? But… but… HAHAHAHAHA!"
"I swear I didn't want to laugh… unless I couldn't help it… HAHAHA!" Deidara waved his limbs around like some kind of deranged octopus, using his whole body to express the indescribable feeling surging inside him.
Sasori, needless to say, could not comprehend Deidara's brain circuits.
They landed the clay bird at the base of the statue. A crowd had gathered nearby to admire it, suggesting this statue had some renown and significance.
That's when Sasori finally understood why Deidara was laughing so hard.
The statue depicted a tall, dashing young man—handsome, confident, even heroic. Yet the inscription on the plaque beside it read:
[The Greatest Leader of the Land of Earth — Ōnoki]
Sasori: "…"
This was… blatant false advertising.
No, it was straight-up fraud!
Even as a puppet, Sasori couldn't help but feel deeply shaken.
[Ōnoki's already an old man, and now he's got looks anxiety?!]← Shocked tone.
[A once-great leader, disgracing himself in his twilight years… how tragic.]← Regretful tone.
[Some nobles are ugly, greasy bastards, but after hearing too many flattering lies from their subordinates, they actually start believing they're goddamn supermodels. Did Ōnoki fall into the same trap?!]
These bullet-point thoughts scrolled through Sasori's mind like a rapid-fire comment section. He hadn't expected Ōnoki to be such a shallow man… No wonder Deidara was such an idiot!
Several ninja wearing standard-issue vests were guarding the plaza. When they saw Deidara and Sasori descend from the sky, they rushed over in a panic. The civilians, unaware of the situation, instinctively stepped back—respectful, even fearful of the shinobi.
But Deidara quickly realized these ninja were barely Genin level. The kind of guys you sent to deal with unruly townsfolk, not real threats.
Thinking that, Deidara suddenly leapt upward, rocketing like a cannonball to the top of the statue's head.
Then, from his palms, he dropped dozens of spider-shaped explosive clay figures. The surrounding ninja immediately panicked.
"Stop him—NOW!"
Deidara ignored them, shouting with gleeful abandon as the detonations began.
BOOM BOOM BOOM—
BOOOOM—!!!
The massive explosion shook the entire plaza. Civilians screamed, fleeing in panic. Some shouted at Deidara in protest, while others bolted for cover.
He was wreaking havoc in the name of art, the explosions echoing in waves. Compared to the panicking civilians, the ninja held up a little better—at least Deidara wasn't targeting them specifically, so they barely managed to protect themselves.
"You bastard! How dare you desecrate Ōnoki-sama's statue!" someone howled, voice cracking with fury.
Deidara heard it, tossed another handful of explosive clay their way, and sneered,
"Ōnoki? Hah! You're telling me this freakin' thing is supposed to be that shriveled old man?"
The moment he finished speaking, a large clay bomb emerged from the mouth on his hand. It morphed into a centipede shape and burrowed beneath the statue.
BOOOOM—!!!
The statue was blown apart, chunks of earth and stone flying everywhere, blanketing the area in dust and debris.
CRRRACK—A sharp sound cut through the air as the airborne statue began to split open.
Both Deidara and Sasori turned toward the noise, eyes narrowing as they watched something—someone—emerge from inside the crumbling statue.
As the dust slowly cleared, the figure became visible.
He was nearly two meters tall, lean and muscular with an almost divine symmetry to his features. His face was sculpted with perfect proportions—every line and muscle on his body looked carved by a master artist. Shoulder-length black hair drifted in the breeze, giving off a strange, almost seductive allure.
The statue had come to life.
In an instant, a crushing pressure swept across the plaza.
Deidara pointed at the man. "Who the hell are you?"
The handsome man chuckled softly and struck a dramatic pose—bizarre and exaggerated, like something out of a bizarre comic. Anyone from Earth would've instantly recognized it as a legendary JoJo pose.
"Deidara, it's been a long time," the man said with a teasing tone. "I'm your teacher. Don't tell me you've forgotten me?"
"(⊙o⊙) What?! No way! Absolutely not! Don't spout nonsense!" Deidara's forehead veins bulged. He looked genuinely offended.
"Ōnoki is almost eighty, and only about one meter thirty," Sasori interjected at just the right moment. "You claiming to be him… That's not convincing at all."
Before Sasori could finish his sentence, his puppet armor—Hiruko—suddenly exploded. The puppet's fragmented parts scattered across the plaza.
Deidara froze, eyes wide. Sasori's real body... was actually beautiful?!
Wait, no! That wasn't the issue! What the hell just happened?! How had Sasori blown up without warning?!
In that moment, Deidara's mood shifted. His expression turned serious. Drawing upon what little brainpower he had—just enough to scrape together an IQ of 250—he reached a conclusion: This guy... was strong!
Quietly slipping a hand into his ninja pouch, Deidara prepared to unleash his ultimate move with his explosive clay—
One second later, he collapsed dramatically, out cold. Lying flat on the ground like some elegantly useless idiot.
The handsome Ōnoki glanced at Sasori, who was just about to unleash his puppet army from a scroll.
With just a look, the puppet body of Sasori's pink-haired boy form exploded too, leaving behind only a single pulsing regeneration core.
Ōnoki bent down and picked up the core. Then he turned toward two nearby ninja and gave a calm command.
"Take that one and tie him up. Bring him back."
"Yes, sir!" the two ninja shouted, practically vibrating with excitement. They'd just spoken to Ōnoki-sama himself!
What an honor!
In their minds, images of promotions, fat paychecks, marrying rich and beautiful women, and reaching the peak of life all flashed by in an instant.
A bright white future awaited them!
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Pls Drop some Power Stones
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