Grant me one Hour
On Love's most sacred Shores
To clasp the Bosom
That my Soul adores,
Lie Heart to Heart
And merge my Soul with Yours.
Combatants remaining: 16
What I possess,
Seems far away to me,
And what is gone
Becomes Reality.
Remaining Days: 6
I cannot remember when I fell asleep, I would not believe I actually did if I did not just waken up from a slumber, not remember the past few hours. Not that it was a really long time, the last time I remember checking the time was barely three hours ago. This lack of sleep can't be healthy, I think. Though I am not sure if I even need to sleep here, in the Moon Cell.
Saber is still asleep. I am not sure if I should still wake her up, instead of leaving the room by myself. Yes, I have promised to do so. But that was when she still wanted to protect me. When I was sure she cares about me. But now it is different. I am sure I went too far. How much further could I have gone, really? Or rather—how much further would I have gone had she not stopped me.
I sigh. "I'm so stupid," I mumble, more to myself than to anyone else. I feel like running away. Far, far away, because facing Saber feels so wrong. It feels like my guts are turning inside of me, it feels scarier than anything I have faced here. Because in this I am alone. In any battle, Saber was by my side and I could rely on her. Now she is not by my side, she is on the other side. And I do not know if I can fix this anymore—I am afraid I cannot.
Suddenly, the blanket shifts slightly. Saber faces me, slightly confused. Have I been staring at her the whole time? But then she just opens her mouth wide to yawn before getting dressed. If I really have been staring, she has not noticed. Thankfully.
"Let's go," she says. Right. We do not really talk much anymore, do we? After the last Elimination Battle I thought maybe things could become better. But as it is, it looks really bad. I do not even dare to initiate much of a conversion with Saber, I am afraid she would just ignore me or tell me to shut up. Our friendship really is beyond repair, and it hurts just so much more because I am not sure anymore if the friendship we had was really enough for me to begin with.
Still, I should not have risked it but… I am wondering what would be now had it worked out. Had Saber not stopped me, would there have been a positive development? At least we would still talk like before. I miss that. A lot.
Saber stops right in front of the bulletin board and I almost run into her, because I was completely lost in thought. Right. We need to check this week's opponent. Or rather, my future murderer, I think bitterly. I take a look at the names. On the left side is my name, Fujimaru Ritsuka. It feels more familiar now, like I got used to it. I still would not be able to tell if it is my name, though.
"Lil' Ronnie," I read out the name on the other side. What kind of name is that? Definitely not a real name, but a sort of alias. A nickname. I can see in Saber's expression that she is worrying about that as well. We really are not on speaking terms, otherwise she would have voiced this irritation.
Suddenly, there is a menacing chuckle behind us, to which we turn around. I stand face to face with a very tall woman, her sleeves so long I cannot see her hands. She appears to wear a mask that reminds of a clown's make up, only her left eye is visible. The other one is covered by her deep orange, very curly hair. She has the appearance of a clown, a scary clown, to be exact.
"Look who we have there," she says, and I could swear she has been licking her lips behind her mask. Her intonation is weird, she stresses every second syllable she says. "E-Excuse me?" I am not sure how to face her. I just wish for this moment to be over sooner rather than later. "I should introduce myself, shouldn't I? I should. My name is Lil' Ronnie."
She sounds excited, though I cannot understand why she would be. "Such white, tender skin. You must be delicious, aren't you? I can't wait to have a taste," she whispers, her face at a threatening small distance to mine now. I can stare into her wide opened eye for just mere milliseconds, before Saber pushes her back, making her almost fall to her back, had her Servant not materialised to catch her.
"Back off," growls Saber. Why did she do that? But before I can ask, she and Lil' Ronnie's Servant are at each other's throat. "How could you dare to reject my Master's love ?" The man with white hair and a dark armour does not seem much saner than his Master. Is that blood on his left arm?
"Love?" Saber asks, threatening. I am sure she would enjoy beheading both of them right now, but probably not for my sake. Just to get this over with. "Yeah, love. Not like kids like you would understand those complex feelings," he mocks. He might not be too wrong, at least about me.
"But, haven't you heard, Lancer? The rumours! Those two have been caught kissing in public. They're a couple!" How does she—But I cannot even finish my thought, before her Servant turns to face her. "Kissing? They don't even talk to each other. They are fooling around, unlike you." Lil' Ronnie lets her body sway from left, to right, back to left, supporting her insanity. "True, true. No real love, is there? But that would have been way too tasty, wouldn't it?"
With that, and a croaking giggle, they walk off—not even saying any goodbye.
I cannot even be mad, they may not be too wrong. But looking at Saber, she looks like a beaten puppy. Why did their words affect her so? How much I would love to just take her into my arms right now and comfort her, but I am not sure if I should.
Maybe it would just cross another line, so I do not.