I'm Badminton, you Shuttlecocks
Listen up Shuttlecocks. A little birdie told me that you were talking smack about me. You say I'm unathletic. You say I'm lazy. You say I'm a downgraded, poor excuse of a sport. Well let me correct your mistakes because you are sorely wrong and misinformed. I am Badminton and I come from nobility.
Are you sad that I am in the Olympics and you're not? Well I am sorry racquetball, that you are not old enough to play with the big boys. Mad that I can still get a workout is 20 minutes without running 10km? Feel free to waste your time Cross country but I have better things to do with my time. Are you jealous of me for being coed? Can't say I am sorry though for not being sexist, Tour de France.
People love me. Why? Because I am an addiction that is good for your heart. Need a way to release stress? SMASH. That's what I am good for. Feeling pumped and ready to play. SWOOSH. I am there. Need a drop of excitement in your old, dull, boring life. PING. Just add a drop of me and your all good. I'm just wondering how you lived so long without me.
When people want to be pumped, have fun and play in a friendly relaxed area, I will be there, unlike those other sports. While tennis is at starbucks getting a sugar rush, I'm kicking but with Jackie Chan. While ping pong is playing games in his basement, I'm on T.V at the Olympics. While Squash is helping at the elderly center, I'm out having the thrill of my life solving mysteries in my hippie van with my gang and talking dog. I was the one to put bad in badass.
Let me drop on you and clear this situation. Get out of my lane, you are not even in my league. I'm worldwide and the chicks love me. I'm the second most played sport in the world. You are only a little frog in a well if you don't know that. My parents are England and India and they always got my back like my best friend China. And if you want to fight, bring it on, my old nickname is Battledore. So you shuttlecocks better beat it before I smash you in.
Well gotta go, the Duke and I made plans.