Edward limped into the grand Cullen home looking like he had survived a glittery tornado,
Carlisle was the first to notice, setting down a book with a concerned frown. "Edward? What happened to you?"
Edward flopped dramatically onto the couch like a model auditioning for a vampire version of a soap opera. "I got mugged… by a lunatic."
Rosalie looked up from her phone. "A lunatic? In Forks?"
Emmet snorted. "Wait. You got beat up?"
Edward glared at him. "I didn't get beat up. I was… outmaneuvered. By someone fast. Smart. He was using some kind of ability I couldn't read."
Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Mind shield?"
Edward shook his head. "No, it was something else. He redirected everything. Like… I'd go to punch, and he'd twist the force. Threw me into the trees like I was a ragdoll."
Esme looked genuinely worried. "Are you hurt?"
Edward waved her off. "Just my pride."
Emmet grinned. "So, this guy made you his chew toy, huh?"
"Emmett," Esme warned.
"What did he look like?" Carlisle asked more seriously.
Edward hesitated. "Couldn't tell. He wore a mask. Said he was Batman if Alfred quit and the Batmobile was a scooter."
Everyone blinked.
Alice, who had been quiet, suddenly stood up. Her hands trembled slightly.
"...Alice?" Jasper asked.
Her eyes widened like a switch had been flipped in her mind.
She didn't answer. Instead, she grabbed the nearles wall for balance, her knees buckling as she gasped.
Carlisle was immediately at her side. "Alice, what is it?"
But as soon as he touched her , he was violently repelled by a sudden burst of invisible force, sne stumbling backward, unharmed but clearly shocked.
Everyone forze.
Alice sank to the floor, clutching her head with a wide grin slowly creeping onto her face.
"...He's here," she whispered. "My mate. My future just bent around him like gravity…"
Her eyes sparkled, breathless and dazed. "And he's insane."
She looked up at the others with a dazed, dreamy smile.
"I love it."
…
After a relaxing shower that only mildly smelled like rust and motel regret, Sebastian flopped back onto his creaky bed. He clutched a steaming bowl of instant noodles like it was sacred treasure and whispered, "This is peak cuisine."
The noodles didn't last long. With the bowl empty and his stomach vaguely pacified, he slid under the covers, groaning at the rock-hard pillow.
"Not gonna care. Doesn't matter. I just wanna sleep."
In his dreams, Sebastian floated through a haven made of cheeseburgers, chimichangas, and a vanilla milkshake river. He mumbled in his sleep, something about "grilled onions and redemption."
Then came the stomach growl. A deep, menacing one. Like his digestive system was an angry deity demanding sacrifice.
Sebastian blinked awake, hair even messier than before, his face smushed like he'd headbutted the sun.
He sighed. "Alright, I get it, you're hungry too."
He shuffled to the kettle, repeated his ancient ritual of boiling water, tossing noodles, spices, and a prayer for edible consistency. Once the sacred bowl was drained again, he sat back, groaned, and stretched.
"Time for a walk. Maybe touch grass. Or harass some supernatural beings. You know, self-care."
…
"What lovely weather," Sebastian muttered with all the sarcasm of a soak raccoon. "Rain, rain, oh look-a cloud, how original. And would you believe it? More rain."
Forks, it seemed, had entered a permanent relationship with precipitation. The sky drizzled like it had something to prove. At this point, Sebastian was convinced the weather had a grudge against dry socks.
He strolled along the slick sidewalks, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets, brows slightly furrowed in an expression that screamed philosophical menace. Not that he had any pressing business. School didn't start until next week, right on schedule with the incoming main character energy of one Bella Swan.
"Time moves slower here," he mused. "Like the plot's buffering…"
He stopped near a random bench tucked under a tree that was trying its best to pretend it was a natural umbrella.
"Good enough," he said, plopping down like a monk preparing for spiritual awakening.
And maybe, just maybe. enlightenment actually struck.
Sebastian's eyes lit up with the spark of divine stupidity. "Werewolves."
A grin broke across his face, one of those lopsided, dangerous smirks that usually came before a cartoon character pressed a big red button labeled DO NOT TOUCH.
"Of course. Why wait for the story to reach me when I can throw rocks at its supporting cast?"
He stood up dramatically, like a sitcom character ready for a musical number. "Let's see how those discount fur-coats handle vector-assisted chaos."
He cracked his knuckles, and with a little bounce in his step, headed off into the woods.
"No more dilly-dallying. No more noodle naps. Time to go spook some shapeshifters."
A pause.
"Oh. And maybe some light target practice," he added, reaching into his hoodie for a few smooth pebbles he'd pocketed earlier. "Never know when you'll need to hit a growing wall of muscle in the forehead with surgical precision."
And with that, he vanished into the misty green gloom, humming the Mission: Impossible theme off key.
…
It didn't take long before Sebastian reached the outer edge of the Quileute territory, where the air was dense with pine, rain, and faint traces of very annoyed wolf DNA.
He crouched on a moss-covered log, peering through a thicket with the focus of a feral squirrel plotting world domination.
"Alright," he muttered, balancing one of the pebbles on his fingertip. "What do we know? They're fast, strong, run hot, and get offended really easily. Basically, they're teenage boys with fur and trauma."
A subtle rustle alerted him to a patrol approaching, two large figures weaving between trees, half-shifted already and chatting in low voices.
Perfect.
Sebastian inhaled slowly, calculating angles, wind resistance, and relative distance. WIth a quick flick, he applied a reverse spin vector mid-throw, causing the pebble to whirl through the air in a micro spiral. It sailed past the first shapeshifter and tapped the second directly on the center of his forehead.
"OW- What the hell?!"
The werewolf halted, rubbing his head. "Did you see that? Something just hit me!"
The first one turned, nose in the air. " I smell something… weird. Like wet asphalt and… instant noodles?"
Sebastian was already behind another tree, suppressing laughter. "I forgot how fun this is."
He threw another rock, this time with a sharp upward arc that curved last second and bonked the first wolf right between the ears.
"DUDE!"
"What?!"
"You just got hit too!"
The second one growled, eyes canning the woods. "You think it's a Cullen?"
"No way, Cullens don't throw rocks."
That's when Sebastian stepped out onto a branch ten feet above them, arms spread, mask gleaming in the rain like a discount comic book villain.
"I am the shadow that snipes your skulls. I am the itch you can't scratch. I am- dramatic pause, "-Batman. If Alfred quit and I had to sell the Batcave to pay for Taco Bell."
Both wolves stared, momentarily stunned.
"... Who the hell is that?" one whispered.
Sebastian dropped like a leaf, flipping once midair for no real reason, then redirected the landing vector to absorb all momentum just before impact. He hit ground completely silent, unnerving even for supernatural senses.
"Come on, pups. Let's dance," he said, popping his knuckles.
The wolves shifted fully, growling low.
Sebastian grinned. With a twitch of his finger, a repulsion vector forced one of them to start spinning in place.
"Let it riiiiiiip;" Sebastian sang, Beyblade-style.
The wolf made a noise halfway between a bark and a scream as he spun like a top and crashed into a bush.
The other lunged , and promptly found himself smacked sideways by a redirected attack vector, flying straight into a patch of mud.
Sebastian stood arms crossed, deadpan.
"Seriously. I'm doing you a favor. If I can redirect a punch mid-air and turn you into a discount carousel, imagine what I could do to your algebra grades."
And with that, he tossed a final pebble skyward and redirected it just enough to make it land directly in the spinning wolf's open mouth.
"Aaaaaand trick shot."
He took a slow bow. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Literally. I have nowhere else to go."
As he disappeared one again into the forest mist, laughter trailing behind him, the wolves lay in the grass, dizzy, confused, and vaguely insulted.
Forks had definitely never seen a threat like this one before.
CHAPTER 5 END.