[Question: How to make a boy fall in love with you?]A few days ago, Kaguya Shinomiya would've been utterly stumped.Now? Armed with a 300-page guide titled "101 Strategies to Conquer a Man's Heart", she finally had a game plan.
Method 1: Slow burn romance. Develop feelings over time.
Stable. Predictable. Effective.
Kaguya vetoed it immediately.Her relationship with Sakurai Saki had barely progressed past hostile bickering. Waiting around for a bond to "naturally" form?Unacceptable. Time was precious.
Pass.
Method 2: Sacrifice something meaningful, trigger his sense of responsibility.
She considered this.
Perhaps… her first kiss?
But no—that was too extreme, and besides, it felt like cheating. She wasn't about to offer up something so precious just to prove a point to Hayasaka Ai.They were sisters. Good sisters. Not rivals.
Plus, she didn't need to steal Sakurai Saki.
All she needed was one shy photo. One moment of embarrassment on his face, captured on camera.Proof that Hayasaka was wrong—he was absolutely conquerable.
Method 3: Close the distance unexpectedly. Fluster him with sudden affection.
Now this was Kaguya's style.
A delicate blend of sugar and spice: cold and aloof on most days… but then suddenly, gentle and warm. The emotional whiplash would hit him hard. His defenses would crumble. And his expression—so shy, so vulnerable—would be priceless.
Yes. This was the plan.
Phase One: Reduce the physical distance.Kaguya leaned subtly toward Sakurai Saki.
Perfect.
Phase Two: Demonstrate femininity.She glanced down at his lunch and gasped with exaggerated sweetness.
"Ehhh~? Is this really a boy's bento? You eat so much! I usually just have a tiny portion, fufu~"
Self-deprecation? Check.Cuteness? Check.Use of the feminine "watashi"? Absolutely essential.
Girls shouldn't eat too much—everyone knew that! Unlike certain people...
Her mind darkened.
Fujiwara Chika.
That bottomless stomach of hers, eating three bowls per meal like a black hole in human form—and all the calories went there.Two bouncing mochi, like some absurd violation of Newtonian physics.
It was unscientific!
...And unfair.
"Ugh," Kaguya muttered under her breath, imagining Fujiwara's cheery, food-filled face.
A proliferating cockroach of a girl.Fujiwara G.
She shook it off.
Phase Three: Offer praise."Sakurai-kun, your grades are so good~ How do you study? I really want to know~"
Both boys in the room froze.
Shirogane Miyuki stared like he'd seen a ghost.Actually, that might have been the more rational explanation.
Yesterday, Sakurai had insisted ghosts were real.Today… this.
This wasn't Kaguya Shinomiya.This was an impostor. A mimic. A shape-shifting alien lifeform puppeting her body in some grotesque social experiment.
Shirogane leaned back in his chair, visibly unnerved.
"Shinomiya," he said slowly. "Please act normal."
"I am acting normal~" Kaguya chirped, voice sweet enough to cause cavities.
Both boys stared blankly.
No. No, she was not.
You could lie to others. You could even lie to them.But don't lie to yourself, Shinomiya.
Sakurai Saki silently picked up his bento and inched away from her. Very slowly.
Kaguya noticed. She frowned, determined.
She reached toward his face, aiming for a flirtatious touch.At the same time, she tried to wink—right eye only, as she'd practiced.
...Unfortunately, she hadn't mastered it.Both eyes shut tight.
A blink. No. A double-blink. Completely unintentional.
Sakurai flinched.
No way. This wasn't flirting.This was possession.
He raised his hand, prepared to swat away whatever eldritch being had taken control of her.
SLAM.
The door burst open.
"Everyone's here~ I'm here!!"
Fujiwara Chika bounced into the room, full of sunshine—until she stopped cold.
Scene before her:Kaguya Shinomiya's face inches from Sakurai's.Hands suspiciously overlapping.Eyes shut like she was about to…Fujiwara's brain short-circuited.
"!!!!"
WHAT WAS THIS!?
Why were they holding hands?!Why were her eyes closed like that?!Were they going to—kiss?!
And—President Shirogane??You're just sitting there like some romcom extra!?
Fujiwara's heart cracked.
This was supposed to be her happy space.Her first time having someone she liked.Her first time having a best friend.
Two beautiful joys, superimposed. A perfect storybook life.
But now?
Now all she could feel was the sting of betrayal and the burn of tears.
Fujiwara Chika blinked, trying to keep them in.
But her eyes—her bright, smiling, innocent eyes—were already sore.
"Wuwahhh~~~!"Fujiwara Chika's voice cracked as tears welled up in her reddened eyes.She slammed the door shut and bolted from the Student Council Room.
Before she vanished, Sakurai Saki caught her final, heartbroken wail:
"Kaguya-san, I treated you like a friend!! Wuwahh~ You traitor! I'm going to eat super spicy ramen alone for a whole month!"
Spicy ramen??
Sakurai Saki froze, utterly baffled.
"...Huh?"
Did she think he was cheating on her?
Wait—cheating?!What did she just assume!?
This was bad. Really bad.
Especially if Fujiwara Chika was the one who misunderstood—she had the energy of a Twitter hashtag with legs. One wrong rumor and by tomorrow, the entire school would believe they were secretly dating behind her back.
Panic mode: ON.
Without hesitation, Sakurai whipped out his phone, fingers flying across the screen.
Sakurai Saki: Fujiwara-kun, you saw wrong just now!!
Ding-dong~Message read. Almost instantly.
Ding-dong~
Fujiwara Chika: Dog blushing face.jpg 🐶💓
Sakurai stared.
A cartoon puppy with glowing cheeks.She... wasn't angry?
He let out a small sigh of relief.
Ding-dong~
Fujiwara Chika: So Sakurai-kun cares about me that much~? You even messaged me first on Line~ It's like… you're confessing to me…
Sakurai froze.
Confessing... to Fujiwara Secretary...?
He retraced his actions.Texting her right away.Pleading innocence.Using punctuation.Even... capitalizing the first letter.
...
Oh no.
He did look like he was confessing.
Meanwhile…Just outside the Student Council Room—
Fujiwara Chika leaned against the hallway wall, clutching her phone close to her chest, cheeks flushed, eyes shining with an idiotic smile.
He replied right away...
That meant he cared.He had to care.Maybe... he'd been flustered too?
Kyaa~ I'm getting shy just thinking about it!
Ten seconds passed.
Ding-dong~
Saki-kun: I messaged you so quickly because I was afraid you'd spread weird rumors. I'm already pitiful enough as it is.
Fujiwara paused.
She knew he was referring to yesterday's failed confession.But to her, that message only proved it more—
He's just too shy to be honest with himself!
Her heart thumped wildly.
I want to see his face right now~
Back in the Student Council Room—
Kaguya Shinomiya, who had been silently observing Sakurai's flustered typing, finally struck.
She snapped a photo.
Click.
Sakurai's cheeks were pink. His brows furrowed in panic. His lips were pursed.
It was the perfect picture of a boy caught in romantic chaos.
Kaguya stared at the photo with satisfaction. Her heart practically soared.
Sorry, Hayasaka.I win this round.
She calmly saved the image, composed her expression, and let her face return to its frosty, dignified state.
She would email this to Hayasaka tonight.
"See? You said he was hard to capture. Not even five minutes."
To her, the matter was settled.Sakurai's embarrassment was clearly the result of her carefully orchestrated charm offensive.
On the other side of the room, Shirogane Miyuki chewed his food quietly, watching this entire circus unfold like a man trapped in an absurdist play.
First, Kaguya turned into a clingy idol.Then Fujiwara exploded with emotion and fled.Now Sakurai was clutching his phone like it held the nuclear codes.And Kaguya—Kaguya had just smirked, frozen her face back into Ice Princess Mode, and continued eating like nothing happened.
Shirogane set down his chopsticks.
What... just happened?
Did Sakurai get infected by the same alien that had taken over Kaguya earlier?
Was this entire room under invasion?
He stared down at his rice.
Was he the only human left?