"Hey, Lina! Nice to see you," Lukas said, standing up to greet her.
"Hi," she managed quietly as she sat down. She couldn't look him directly in the eyes; the guilt and confusion ran too deep. Still, she felt a small part of her relax in his presence.
Lukas seemed to notice her unease, tilted his head slightly, and studied her. "Is everything okay?" he asked gently.
Lina forced a smile, but it didn't feel genuine. "Yeah, everything's fine," she lied. Deep down, she knew it wasn't the truth, but she couldn't tell him what was really going through her mind. She couldn't tell him what had happened last night, and certainly not what role Max had played in it.
Lukas took a sip of his coffee and leaned back, as if waiting for her to say more.
Lina clutched her cup with both hands, feeling the warmth of the coffee, but it wasn't enough to banish the chills inside her. She knew Lukas was waiting for her, that he wanted to hear something that might explain her restlessness. But she couldn't. The words stuck in her throat, as if they were too difficult to speak.
"Lina," Lukas began after a while, "I notice something's wrong. You don't have to tell me, but... you know you can talk to me, right?" His voice was soft, almost cautious, as if he didn't want to push her.
She looked down at her cup, as if the circular motion of the spoon she used to stir the coffee might give her the answer. Of course she wanted to talk to him. But things were more complicated than that. How could she explain to him that she was losing herself in him, that she was clinging to him even though he was only there as a friend? And how could she tell him that she'd done something the night before that she deeply regretted?
"I know I can talk to you," she finally answered quietly. "It's just... sometimes it's difficult to find the right words."
Lukas nodded in understanding. "Sometimes they don't have to be the right words. It's enough if you just talk. I'm here, Lina."
His understanding struck her unexpectedly deeply. He was always there. Always ready to listen, to help. But the more he did that, the harder it became for her. His kindness was like a constant pain because she knew it wouldn't change the fact that he would never see her the same way she saw him.
"I really appreciate that, Lukas," she said, forcing herself to glance at him briefly. "You're... you're the only person who understands me in any way."
"Of course I understand," he said, smiling. "You're important to me."
Those words should have made her happy, but instead, she felt a pang in her chest. She knew she mattered to him, but not in the way she so desperately wanted. In that moment, she realized she could never bridge the gap between them. She would always be just the girl he wanted to save.
Suddenly, she stood up. "I have to go," she said abruptly, reaching for her bag. The tightness in her chest made it hard to breathe, and she knew she had to get out quickly before she lost control.
"Lina, wait..." Lukas began, but she was already on her way to the door.
Outside, she took a deep breath and reached for her inhaler again. The world spun around her for a moment as she breathed in the cold air. She felt guilty. Lukas didn't deserve her treating him like this, but she couldn't take it anymore. She needed some distance.
Lina felt the cold air on her skin as she stood outside on the street. The pressure in her chest slowly eased as she took deep breaths and calmed herself with her inhaler. She knew she shouldn't have just left Lukas standing there, but the tightness that had spread inside her had become too strong. She felt as if she were suffocating.
She slowly started moving. The streets weren't particularly busy, but it was enough to make her feel uneasy. Everything felt unreal, like a dream she couldn't wake up from. She couldn't remember the last moment she had felt truly free. Without guilt, without pain.
As she walked aimlessly through the streets, she thought about last night. Max had been there. She didn't really want to see him, but he had simply visited her. His way of appearing in her life was as natural as it was disturbing. He understood her in a different way than Lukas did. He could penetrate her darkest thoughts, manipulate her, and he knew it. But he had something Lukas didn't have—he made her feel important. Not in a friendly way, but in a way that made her doubt herself, but at the same time, it also had a dark kind of attraction.
Last night, it had happened. She had slept with him. It wasn't out of love, not even out of desire, but out of emptiness. She wanted to feel, to feel anything that could pull her out of this bottomless pit. But it hadn't worked. Afterward, she only felt emptier. It was a mistake, and she knew it.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw a message from Lukas.
"Are you okay? I'm worried."
She sighed. Of course he was worried. He always was. And that only made everything worse. She felt like she'd disappointed him, but at the same time, she knew she couldn't change. It was as if she were trapped in a perpetual cycle—back to the same decisions, the same mistakes.
Lina put the phone away without answering the message. She couldn't answer him now. Not when she felt this way.
Lina continued walking, not really knowing where she was going. The streets were familiar to her, yet today they seemed strange and threatening. Thoughts of Lukas and Max churned in her mind. Max was like a shadow in her life, always there, always with a sharp comment or a surprise visit. It was a game, and she was the pawn, not even aware she was being manipulated.
She stopped in the next alley to enjoy the view of a small park where the trees swayed their leaves in the breeze. It was a beautiful sight, and for a moment she could forget the cold in her heart. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wanting to draw the fresh air into her lungs, but the memories overwhelmed her.
She thought about the things Max had said. Sometimes his words seemed like a ring of hope inside her, and sometimes they were like a heavy pressure on her heart. He knew what he was doing. He had a talent for playing on her fears, leading her astray and then pulling her back, only to hurt her again.
"Lina!"
The voice cut through her thoughts like a knife. She opened her eyes and turned around. Max was standing there, his face relaxed into a wide grin. It was that expression that both pleased and frightened her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.
"I was looking for you," he said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "You left so quickly. Is everything okay?"
She nodded, even though she wasn't really feeling it. "I just wanted to get some fresh air."
Max stepped closer. "Fresh air, huh? I thought you could use some company. How about a walk?"
Something about his suggestion made her hesitate. But the loneliness she felt overwhelmed her, and before she could change her mind, she nodded. "Sure, why not."
They walked side by side, and as they strolled through the park, it was as if the world around them disappeared. Max talked about trivial things, but Lina wasn't really listening. Her thoughts kept circling back to Lukas and the guilt she felt.
"You know, you're pretty special, Lina," Max said suddenly, looking straight at her. "Sometimes I wonder why you don't realize how amazing you really are."
The look in his eyes was intense, and for a brief moment, Lina felt her heart skip a beat. "Thanks, but I'm not that special," she replied quietly.
"You are, believe me."
There was a conviction in his voice that both attracted and repelled her. She knew he wasn't serious, that his words had another intention, a kind of control. But she didn't want to admit it. It was so much easier to live in the moments when he enveloped her with those words.
The days passed, and the argument between Lina and Lukas had created a gap between them that was almost impossible to bridge. She felt guilty and confused. The thoughts of the words she had said seemed to repeat themselves over and over in her head. She didn't want him to think she was insignificant or not worth fighting for.
So she decided to contact him. The decision felt like throwing a heavy stone into the water, and she waited for the waves of uncertainty to wash over her. Finally, she sent him a message. "I'm sorry I reacted that way. I want to talk to you."
After a few minutes of agonizing uncertainty, an answer came. "I think we should really meet sometime."
The relief was overwhelming, and at the same time, a shiver of nervousness washed over her. Lina knew she had to apologize and explain what was going on inside her. The thought of seeing Lukas made her stomach flutter. She imagined what it would be like to look into his eyes and tell him everything she felt.
They arranged to meet the next day at the café where they had first met. Lina was nervous, but also excited. But then everything changed.
As she entered the café, she was enveloped by the familiar atmosphere. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and pastries permeated the air. Her heart pounded when she saw the table where they had been sitting, and she expected to see Lukas. But her gaze fell upon a scene that tore her heart apart.
Lukas was sitting in the corner, and next to him was a boy she didn't know: Tim. She could see the warmth in his eyes that he felt for Tim, and then the unthinkable happened: Lukas leaned forward and kissed him gently.
Lina froze. The moment seemed to play out in slow motion. The disappointment and the feeling of betrayal shot through her like a sharp dagger. In that instant, she felt as if the ground beneath her had given way.
She wanted to apologize, but now everything was different. The words she'd prepared seemed meaningless. The thought that Lukas might not even be interested in her made her sad. It was as if she were trapped in a nightmare from which there was no escape.
Without another thought, she turned and hurried out of the café, tears streaming freely down her cheeks.
Out on the street, Lina took a quick breath, her thoughts swirling. The cool wind blew through her hair, but she felt hot and broken inside. How could she have been so naive? She had fallen in love with the idea that Lukas actually liked her, that he cared about her. Now she knew it had all been an illusion.
With every step she took away from the café, she felt lighter and heavier at the same time. It was a constant battle between the grief of what she had lost and the relief that she no longer had to fear him. But the loneliness that gripped her was like a crushing weight on her chest.
She pulled out her phone, hoping a message from Lukas might bring her back to him. But there was nothing. No message, no sign. Only silence. The lack of answers hurt more than the disappointment she'd just experienced. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to numb the pain.
With a sigh and a cry, she headed toward her favorite park. There she wanted to spend time in solitude to sort out her thoughts. The park was almost empty, which gave her the opportunity to be alone and feel what she felt without anyone seeing her tears.
She sat down on a bench and let her thoughts wander. Suddenly, a familiar face appeared. It was Max. He was walking toward her, and Lina had no desire to see him. She knew he would make fun of her situation, but she didn't have the energy to hide.
"Hey, Lina! What's wrong? You look like you saw a ghost," Max said with a mocking smile. It was the same tone he always used, as if he were trying to exploit her vulnerability.
"It's nothing, Max," she replied, but her voice was shaky.
He sat down next to her and watched her with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. "You can't play me for a fool, you know something's wrong. Is it about Lukas?"
Lina clenched her fists and pressed her lips together. How dare he pretend to help? "I just want to be alone."
Max shrugged, but the mocking look in his eyes faded a little. "Come on, Lina. You know I can help you. Why don't you just stop all this sadness and see what really matters?"
She looked at him sharply. "What matters, Max? What really matters? Is it the control you have over me? Is that what matters to you?"
"That's not fair," he replied, his expression changing. "I'm not the bad guy here. You just need to learn to focus on the right things."
"And what are the right things?" she shot back. "Surrounding yourself?"
Max smiled. "Well, I'm the only one who's got your back. You know I know more about you than anyone else. And I can help you solve your problems. I'm always here for you, Lina."
Her mind swirled, and for a moment she was tempted to listen to him. Maybe he really could help her. But deep down, she knew Max wasn't the one who could save her. His ways were manipulative, and she didn't want to fall into that dependency again.
"I don't need a hero, Max," she finally said, standing up. "I'll get through this on my own."
She turned away, determined to regain control of her life, even if it meant walking the painful path alone.
Lina left Max behind and continued walking through the park. The silence around her was both comforting and oppressive. Every step felt like she was leaving a heavy burden behind, but the loneliness that had spread after her argument with Lukas and her encounter with Max constricted her throat.
With every breath, she noticed her asthma returning. It was as if the pressure in her chest grew with every negative emotion. She sat down on one of the shady benches and tried to breathe evenly, letting the memories of Lukas and her kiss with Tim flow through her mind.
The questions that arose were painful: Did Lukas really just feel sorry for her? Had he ever truly liked her? Why had he chosen Tim? Her thoughts swirled like a storm, giving her no peace.
She reached for her phone and considered sending Lukas a message. But what should she say? "Hey, I saw you kissing, and now I'm sad"? That seemed so childish and vulnerable. Instead, she decided to save the message in her drafts, in case she found the courage to actually send it.
The thought of revealing her feelings to him sent another choking sensation through her chest. In that moment, when she felt weakest, she wished someone were with her. Someone who understood her, someone like Lukas—but now all that seemed lost.
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Max, who had reappeared, this time with a more serious expression. "Lina, I didn't mean for you to think that way about me. I'm here to help you. You need to know that I..."
"Leave me alone, Max," she interrupted, frustrated. "I don't know what you're planning to do with me, but I can't do this anymore. I don't need anyone controlling me or telling me what to do."
He dropped his hand and looked at her with an expression that both unsettled and angered her. "I'm just worried about you, that's all. You're not alone, and I can help you if you let me."
"Help? What you're offering me isn't help. It doesn't feel right," Lina replied, feeling a wave of anger rise within her. "I'm tired of your games. It's not okay to treat me like this."
Max seemed hurt for a moment, then a look of understanding came over his face. "I didn't mean for it to seem that way. I thought we could support each other. You're not the only one struggling."
She sensed his words were partly true, but that didn't reassure her. "I need someone who respects me. And you don't. I'm not your toy, Max. I want to make my own decisions."
Lina stood abruptly, feeling as if she was breaking free from exhaustion. The burden she had been carrying seemed to lift for a moment. She knew she had to find the courage to make her own decisions and stop allowing Max to manipulate her.
"You really should go, Max," she said firmly. "I don't want to talk to you anymore."
Max looked at her for a moment, as if questioning her resolve, then nodded slowly. "If that's really what you want..."
"Yes, it is," she replied, turning around, ready to finally walk the path she had chosen for herself.
As Lina left the park, she felt a sense of relief, but also fear. The confrontation with Max had triggered something in her. She wanted to be strong, make her own decisions, and no longer allow her weaknesses to be exploited. But the thought of Lukas gnawed at her. What would she do if she saw him again? How could she explain to him how she felt without making a fool of herself?