The morning at the Smith house began with a purely terrestrial crisis.
"I can't drive you, Morty!" Jerry wailed from the kitchen, phone glued to his ear. "Mr. Goldenfold called an emergency neighborhood watch committee meeting! Someone's been leaving plastic flamingos on the principal's lawn—it's chaos!"
Morty sighed, his day already starting with the usual dose of anxiety. He was about to resign himself to taking the school bus when Kaelen, who was in the living room helping Padmé understand the concept of "reality television," looked up.
"I'll drive you, Morty," Kaelen offered. "Padmé, fancy an anthropological tour of an Earth secondary education institution?"
"I'd love that," Padmé said with a genuine smile. "It would be fascinating to observe the mating customs and social hierarchies of this planet's youth."
"Great," Kaelen said. "And we can drop Morty off on the way."
Morty blushed, but nodded gratefully. "Th-thanks, Kaelen."
They got into Beth's sedan. Kaelen slid into the driver's seat, and with a couple of discreet adjustments under the dashboard, the car's engine began to purr with an otherworldly efficiency.
"I put a little fission optimizer in the engine," Kaelen explained. "It now has the performance of a starfighter and fuel efficiency that would make a Kuat engineer weep. Plus, I've diverted the excess energy to the audio system."
He pressed a button on the radio. Instead of the local station, strange, guttural music blared. "Ah, the top 40 hits from the Dimension of the Saxophone Gremlins. A classic."
He turned off the music at Morty's terrified glance and drove towards Harry Herpson High School.
A Public Proclamation
When they arrived, the front parking lot was a hive of teenagers. Kaelen pulled the car to a stop and stepped out to see Morty off. The moment his feet hit the asphalt, a hush fell over a group of nearby girls, including Jessica, the popular redhead Morty pined for.
"Hey, who's that?" one of the girls whispered.
"That's Morty's uncle," another replied. "The one who's a genius at video games."
"Whoa," Jessica said, her eyes fixed on Kaelen. "He's... super hot. He's got like a seen-some-things look."
Kaelen, sensing the gazes, turned and offered them a friendly smile and a polite nod. To him, it was simple courtesy. To the teenagers, it was the equivalent of a personal invitation. They began to whisper and giggle.
From the passenger seat, Padmé observed the scene. She, a Queen and Senator who had commanded armies and faced tyrants, felt a pang of a completely new and strange emotion. It wasn't insecurity. It was... possessive irritation. An amused but very real jealousy.
Queen of Hearts
Alright. I get it. He's handsome, brilliant, and has that interdimensional mystery vibe. But those... those girls... they're looking at my husband like he's the last slice of chocolate cake in the galaxy.
I've survived planetary blockades, two assassination attempts, a Rick extermination squad, and Jerry's cooking. And now a bunch of teenagers in tight jeans are my biggest threat? No. Unacceptable. Diplomacy has its limits. Time for a show of force.
With a calm and grace only a queen could muster, Padmé exited the car. Her presence immediately drew attention. She walked directly to Kaelen, completely ignoring the group of wide-eyed girls.
Morty, seeing her approach, could only think: Oh, no. Please don't make a scene.
"Darling," Padmé said, her voice soft as silk but with a clear note of authority. "You're forgetting something."
Kaelen looked at her, confused. "What? I have my keys, my..."
He couldn't finish the sentence. Padmé wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him close, and kissed him.
It wasn't a short, sweet peck. It was a long, passionate, cinematic kiss, right in front of Harry Herpson High School. A kiss that loudly proclaimed: "This man, the interdimensional cybernetic genius, is mine. Completely. Look elsewhere."
When she finally pulled away, she left Kaelen slightly stunned and breathless. The girls, led by Jessica, stood with jaws agape, their high school fantasies shattered by a woman whose beauty and confidence were otherworldly—literally.
Padmé smiled, a triumphant, satisfied grin. She gently patted Kaelen's cheek.
"Have a good day at work, my love," she said loudly, ensuring her message was received.
She turned, and with one last knowing wink at Kaelen, she re-entered the car with the elegance of a lioness who had just marked her territory.
Kaelen stood there for a second, processing what had just happened, before a huge smile spread across his face. He turned to Morty, who was the color of a Naboo tomato.
"Good luck, kid," Kaelen said, clapping him on the back. "I think you're gonna need it."
As Morty walked towards the school, the object of whispers and stares from all his classmates, Kaelen got back into the car, laughing. The war for the galaxy could wait. He had just been reminded, in the most public and wonderful way possible, that he had already won the only battle that truly mattered.