Warmth.
That was the first thing my mind recognised. Not cold steel biting into my wrists, not the slippery concrete beneath my feet, not the distinct pain of leather whips slicing through my flesh.
I was warm. I shuffled my hands around, appreciating the freedom of not being chained to the ceiling. There were covers over me, soft and thick, and so large I was almost drowning in them.
How did I get here? I wondered. My eyes moving underneath my eyelids. I couldn't open them just yet. I was scared of what I would see if I did. Maybe all I was feeling right now was just an illusion created by my mind to escape The Shattering, a curse of the Wailing Sisters. No. This was real— too real. I wiggled my toes around, shifting them under the covers, generating a little static. I winced at the sudden electric shock. It hurt, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Finally mustering enough courage, I blinked my eyes open, the soft, warm light peeking through the windows and my eyelids.
It's morning…
I brought my hands to my eyes, wiping at all the gunk that must have gathered throughout the time I was unconscious. There was nothing. Surprised, I looked up at my hands expecting them to be bloody and dirty and covered in wounds. They weren't. Something was wrong.
My eyes shot open. I threw the covers off, looking around for any clues as to where I was. I couldn't see the familiar crest of House Varkaryn— A gauntlet full of blood, crossed by two swords of the guardians. This wasn't my home. I was still in danger.
Darting up from the bed with more strength than I thought I could muster, I looked around for a weapon. The room was empty save the bed I was just on. I ran up to the wide doors to the left of the room and pulled violently– it didn't budge. Maybe I had to push. Grunting, I pushed as hard as I could to no avail. I put my ear to the door to hear for something or someone. No sound. All I heard was the wooshing of trees from afar.
Damn it.
I paced around the room, thinking, analyzing. Suddenly, it hit me— the window. I shot across the bed, throwing the curtains open. Glass windows stretching from floor to ceiling. Barless. I finally saw my escape route. I thrashed at the window latch, pulling and pushing, hoping for some movement— there was none. I tried breaking through it, repeatedly charging at it with my shoulder angled to a point.
After the first two, three times, it felt like the window was doing a better job of breaking my arm than I was doing of breaking it.
Ughh! This is fucking hopeless.
I slumped on the bed, frustrated and tired, beads of sweat breaking out on my forehead. My fingers tapped erratically on the bed frame beneath them, the knees bobbing just as fast, exposing my agitation.
I had to do something. I couldn't just sit here and wait for something to happen.
Swearing under my breath, I shot up to my feet. Racing to the door again, I figured if the door wouldn't budge maybe the door knob would. I fiddled with it a bit, looking for a screw I could loosen up or a latch I could unhook. It was unusual to see a knob that I couldn't unock in seconds. This had to be a lost pattern, but from where? I couldn't place my finger on it. This. Was. Hopeless.
"What the fuck do I do now?" I gritted through my teeth, pushing my hair out of my face with both hands, wiping the sweat away with it.
I took a few steps away from the door. Taking a sharp turn, I dropped my hand to my side and charged towards the door. I banged repeatedly with my fists, not caring if the door moved or not. I just needed to let out all the anger I had inside. I was so angry.
Angry at these bastards who kept me here, angry at my father for leaving so suddenly, angry at myself for getting captured. I was angry—at Riven for not finding me, a pool of tears gathering in my eyes, angry at my men who fell that night, angry that I had no idea if my best friend was dead or alive.
I kept hitting the door, punching, kicking, slamming. I didn't feel better, but I kept going. I only stopped when I saw my blood coating the gold-plated door. I could handle the pain. What I couldn't handle was not being in control, not knowing what my next move would be.
Before I could hit something else, I heard a snap.
Then, a click and another clack. The door was unlocked. I jumped back a few feet, ready to attack, my knees bent and my fists raised to the side of my head. My heart thudded in my chest, my blood pumping through my veins. Slowly, the doors creaked open, revealing a dark pathway with a tall figure standing before me.
My heart rate picked up.
"Who are you?!" I yelled from where I stood, unable to identify the man a few feet from me.
"I see you've healed nicely," the man chuckled. Wait. I would recognise that laugh anywhere.
"RIVEN!" I screamed, a warm, soft laugh escaping his lips and echoing through the empty room. My arms dropped limp at my side, and my fingers twitched. I couldn't help it. I balled my hands into fists and loosened them to lessen the tremor in my hands.
"It's you. It's really you." He took a step into the room, and I closed what gap was left between us. I threw my hands around his neck, propping myself up on the tips of my toes. He wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing tightly, like he never wanted to let go.
"You found me. You actually found me." he buried his face deeper into the crook of my neck, my fingers encircling the light brown locks of his hair.
"Yeah…. I found you." his voice cracked.
I pulled away from his grasp and cupped his cheeks in my palms. I looked at him so deeply that tears began to well up in my eyes again. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry, and I was going to keep that promise. Blinking the tears back, I withdrew my body from his, as painful as it felt, I had to make sure he wasn't hurt.
"Are you hurt anywhere?"
"No."
"What about our men? House Varkaryn?"
"The House is safe."
"And Liliana?"
No response.
"Where is Lily?" he looked away, his eyes taking on a dark hue. My mouth went dry, my knees buckling beneath me.
"What happened?" I croaked, a sudden weakness taking over my body.
"We couldn't find her after the saga."
My mind spiralled. What if she's injured, or worse? No, I can't think about that right now.
"How did you find me?"
Silence. He wasn't meeting my eyes. My heart sank so low I thought it hit the floor.
"Riven Sae. How did you find me?!" I was breathing faster now, the world tilting around me.
"She's awake. I'll bring her in immediately," he breathed, lifting a wrist to his mouth.
I stepped away from him, afraid of what I would do if I got too close. The disbelief hit me first, leaving a bitter taste at the back of my throat. Then came the anger. I wrapped my fingers in my hair so tightly I thought I would bleed.
"You're one of them?" I spat, the disgust oozing from every pore in my body.
"You let them in. You let them kill our men. YOU DID THIS!" He flinched, barely. Not enough.
"In our defence, your men killed mine first."
"Your men? YOUR MEN?! They were our men! And you betrayed them. You betrayed me. I would have killed for you. I would have died for you". My voice cracked on the last line.
"And now? Has that changed?" he stood perfectly still, his arms loose at his side.
"You'd be a fool to think it hasn't."
"I won't apologise, Sera." He gritted out. "But I also don't expect you to understand. At least not yet. In time, the Baron will explain everything to you."
How could he be this calm? How could he be this unaffected, knowing how much he was hurting me right now? I tried to read his expression, but it was unrelenting.
"You're not my Riven. The Riven I know, the one I grew up with, would never hurt me like this and remain untouched."
"You think I'm unaffected by all of this? It seems you don't know me as well as you thought." I could hear the pain trapped behind the hard front he was putting up. I wasn't going to acknowledge it, though. He didn't deserve it. His fists clenched and unclenched by his side, revealing the tension he tried so hard to hide.
"My father took you in when you had no one. He raised you, trained you, protected you."
"Trained me?" he scoffed.
" Your father didn't train me. The Baron did. Your father was a pretentious coward, and he's the reason all this has to happen." his words were like a brutal slap to my face, sending me back a few steps. What did he mean by my father was the cause of this?
"What do you mean by that?"
"The Baron will explain everything to you."
"Who the fuck is this Baron?!" I snapped, losing the last bit of control I had on myself.
"You'll find out soon enough." his lips pressed into a thin, bloodless line as he pushed something behind his ear.
Not even a heartbeat later, I heard the sound of heavy footsteps charging towards the room where I stood. I jumped back, putting even more space between us, my pulse thrashing underneath my skin.
They were going to take me back there— and he was going to let them. I wasn't going to allow that. They'd have to drag my dead body away before I'd let myself be mutilated by those butchers.
"If you're scared that we'll take you back there, don't be. We're only going to see the Baron."
"And why should I believe you? You already betrayed me once. Who's to say you won't do it again?" My eyes hardened at him.
"Because I'm the reason you're even alive. I got the information that you were down there with the Wailing, but before I could get to you, the Baron… 'handled' it," he said, smiling to himself, emphasizing 'handled'.
"What could possibly be funny, right now?"
"You'll see for yourself." As the footsteps drew closer, my heart skittered in my chest. I couldn't die here. I had to find Liliana. I had to get revenge. For my father, for my house, for me.
"You won't get away with this."
"I highly doubt that," he said, closing his eyes and stepping back as two women dressed in all black, hair tied up in a bun, with their faces covered in an unfamiliar mask walked in.
"Be careful with her. He was very specific about making sure she doesn't get hurt."
"We'll be careful, Commander General." The women pranced towards me, circling me like I was prey. I wasn't sure who to take on first, but the one with the lighter hair seemed smaller, frailer. I'd go for her first, and then I'd take on the one that was closer to my size but slightly larger.
"Be quick," Riven said from beyond the door, and I gritted my teeth. He couldn't even face me himself. I hated him a little more for that. But I would take care of him later. Right now, I had to deal with these women in front of me. My eyes followed my first target, locking onto her, analysing her features, her weaknesses. I took the first swing, going straight for her chin. Taking advantage of her smaller stature, she ducked, circling under my arm and giving me a blow to the ribs. Gripping her shoulders, I slammed my knee into her gut, hoping to knock whatever lunch she just had right out of her.
The other woman grabbed me from behind, dragging me away from her counterpart. I pulled at her to loosen up at my waist to no avail, then I rammed my elbow twice into her side, causing her to let go.
"I said, be quick! We don't have all the time in the world."
"I thought we could play with her a little."
"By the looks of it, she's the one playing with you." A smile escaped my lips at the sound of that, and for a moment, I forgot the betrayal, the deceit, the pain. All I could muster in my mind were those sparring sessions where he would watch me win, because I always won, and then he'd smile and scream my name down the large halls of House Varkaryn.
That was just for a moment, though. The feelings rushed right back to me, stinging more now than they did initially. This was not the end. He would pay. And so would this Baron.
I charged at the taller woman, but before I could land a hit, she threw a white powder in my face. I rubbed at it, dusting as much of it off my clothes as I could.
My vision began to tilt and slowly blur. My fingertips grew numb and hard, spitting a piercing ache when I pushed them together. I was losing myself again. I didn't want to. My knees buckled. I hated this. I hated all of it. Not being able to fight, to defend myself.
I dropped to my knees, my head throbbing in my hands. I fell to the ground, the tears rolling out of my blank eyes.
"I'm sorry it has to be this way. He'll explain everything to you." Riven whispered something else inaudibly before I finally drifted into a blind abyss.