Khadijah's POV
I was working on my final year project in the library when Elizabeth my cours mate notified me that Mr Vincent the young lecturer wanted to see me. I didn't hesitate to go because he was all on my mind even while I sat at my laptop before her text. It felt like a dream come true to see him again. Khadijah you are meant to be a pastor. Eh! Even God knows that I have feelings and it's obvious I've fallen for this man.
Or maybe he's the Mister Right. Maybe he joined our school at this strategic time so we could meet. He's just everything I want in a man.
Khadijah, have you forgotten your dreams?
No, Aholah is fine. I don't think she's that deep. She's this quiet roommate and she listens. What else is my problem? Abi, I'm the one who has a problem. I'm the one who has an issue of sex in the dream before I gave my life to Jesus which is now coming back because I encountered Mister right, probably.
Free me o. I almost thought aloud as I opened the door of his office.
"Good afternoon sir." I walked in. Somehow, life sprang up in my bum and breast, one that made them have feelings of their own. I felt naked before him and my endowments moved cautiously at every step that I made. What's going on?!
"Afternoon beauty."
Something felt off, or rather wrong. I could have blamed his choice of words but no, even my body had been off from the moment I opened the door.
"Sir, you asked to see me."
"Yes, he stood up. Have your seat." I sat across his table, wishing to leave almost immediately.
"Ehm, I need your help with these scripts. They're for your juniors and I want you to mark it here. Is that okay with you?"
I saw myself nod in agreement. " Sure. "
No, I'm busy. I have a project. Why did you accept this?! Khadijah!
I saw him smile as his almond eyes over me like he was about to select a suit for his wedding.
I blushed hard. I could not hide it. He cupped my hand in his from across the take and rubbed the back of my hand with his palm.
"Thank you so much, dear. You're saving a life."
I smiled back lost in his charm.
"I'll be right back." He left the office, leaving me with the scent of coffee that his humidifier gave me. It was in my imagination that I didn't notice when the door clicked open and when he reached my back. His hands on my shoulder plunged me out of my thoughts. "Calm down babe." He whispered. Massaging my shoulder bone. I just sat there frozen in pleasure And guilt. His hands moved Into my dress and undid my bra. I didn't move. No, I could not move. It felt like some forces held my position on the chair.
I thought screaming would help. I tried but no, nothing came.
"Khadijah, sweet girl." He kissed my lips.
"Now stand up."
I obeyed immediately.
"Lay on that table." I did as he instructed and like a dunce I watched him unbuckle his belt and plunge into me breaking vows right before my eyes. I wasn't a virgin but I had promised God it won't happen again. Soon I saw myself responding to his moves.
"You see, it isn't that bad after all. " He said, putting an object in my private part. I didn't know what it was but I was metallic and it sent me clinging onto him for support. This is worse than I had thought.
I wished my death would come at that moment.
*
I ran back to my office after he released me to go and fell on my knees. I was sore, the same I felt the last time he came to me in the dream. I felt crushed but God could still hear me. I told myself. If you repent.
"God!" I shrieked. "It is my fault! I nursed the wrong things in my heart. My heart was filthy already before it happened. I accepted my flesh lust as love, and even though I told you about it I didn't wait to hear what you have to say. I claim to be close to you yet I only talk to you, Igor deaf to your own words. I talked to you to fulfill my conscience. God, it was like a routine for me and like a checkmate that I was still on track. But I forgot that I'm only on track if I spend every moment following you. I've just messed up and I need you to forgive me!"
"Ah..." I cried.
There was a knock on my door. I quickly wiped off my tears, applied new face cream and spray the office before opening. It was Grace, the SRC PRO (Public Relations Officer) and Aholah, my room mate. Grace as usual did not let us settle in before she started talking.
"So sister Khadijah, I found the perfect host for our podcast, Aholah. She has all the skills and energy and I realized, she's a good girl and many students love to be around her."
**Aholah's POV**
I squirmed within me as this funny final-year lady gave me descriptions that I never knew I had. It wasn't until she told me today that I was everyone's spec that I finally why some people never stopped staring at me in that school. So she approached me after my first class and told me about a youth podcast chapel that was organizing and how they wanted a fresher who was capable of hosting it for longevity's sake. It's going to be a Christian podcast and we'll about God and our youthfulness. According to her, there'll be older people who would cohost with me but I have to host it, every week. And the last thing, I will also be allowed to talk in chapel once in a while concerning what was discussed in the podcast.
I knew I was the least qualified. I told her I couldn't do it but she cajoled into it and here I am, standing face to face with my roommate for validation.
What is happening in my life?
In the morning, I realized I'm addicted to sexual immorality and at noon I'm signing up for preaching against it every week of my life for the next three years. Crazy!
"Yes, Aholah, why didn't I think of it? She's outspoken. Daring and fears God. Aholah I hope she has told you all about this podcast?"
"Yes, she did," I said.
"It's going to be online, everyone in and outside of this school will see it. You are about signing up to be God's advocate. Are you ready for this?"
Her words were like piercing swords in my heart. I thought Janet said I will feel good for nothing except sex but here I am with a golden opportunity. If emptiness threatens me this much because of my way of life, then I need this to keep up, or as a side motivation.
"I am 100 percent ready Senior Khadijah. I love God and I've always wanted to witness about him to others. Thank you for this opportunity ma. " This garment of hypocrisy fits me so well.
"Well then. Well done sister Grace. We'll see the chaplain when he comes back and the preparations will start. Welcome to the team Aholah. I know God has brought you here for a reason."
HM.
I doubt that.