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Chapter 4 - Kept

Chapter- 01

Bernd Leno

Today wasn't the day I was getting ready for. It was a responsibility to wake up in the morning and get dressed after wearing some makeup. The dress was special, too. Maybe the weather could save us after floating me. But the water dried with unluck. No place left to desire.

I looked once at my wedding card. My mood was not suiting with me to open it and get the confirmation about whom I was going to marry. It sounds crazy but was true. My family said the name before me, but I was in an absent mind. My friends were joking with me at the same time. maybe it was a possible way to start the argument, what I chose to ignore then. Did not extend the matter. I was in shock or more in confusion. I am still thinking the same, I shouldn't have taken the matter easily. I needed to be serious, too.

After seeing some little girls walking with flower basket, after seeing the ring bearers brought the rings here, after everybody stood up from their respective seats. Here I am, holding his hands, sharing my vows and promises to whom I don't even know. I twisted the ring on his left hand, and he did it, too. I was hearing the lines from the Bible, giving the acceptances, hearing some sighs from centimeter away. Some deep panting, low breathes.

It is now the veil lifting moment after some minutes for seeing my life partner, whom I don't know but signed all the papers. It was the first time. Have a long story behind it.

It was a moment when my family was deciding about my wedding. I never wanted a love marriage. Or maybe it is better to say I never was in a relationship. I was a little dependent son of my parents. I never took big decision without them. Even if it was about wedding. I didn't mind that they told me they have a better one for me. All I reacted was only for the hurry.

I missed the World Cup, I was frustrated. They never cared about it. All they wanted was my wedding. They were very excited about it, I never saw my parents, even my family, in that mood before. I was feeling like THEY were getting married. I still can not imagine how I passed those days in a nutshell. My family was on one side, forcing me to meet with my fiancé, the friends were in another side, confusing me with the bride's name. I was somehow confused, but standing there thinking, I should have met. It is not a way, how a groom should get married with his unknown, unseen fiancé.

The day when my family went to his house with an engagement ring, I was busy. I KEEP myself busy with my extra work. They told me more than four times to go with them, meet with him, and share some feedback. I didn't listen. I didn't maybe care about it, like I said, I should have. It might not become a joke that you are getting married. It might not also be a joke that you don't know your fiancé. You knew the name, only. Even it was after the confirmation. After the wedding card had been received by everyone. After your friend told you to look, when only one week left for your wedding. Hilarious! Maybe it was the eighth wonder.

It was somehow my choice to put everything on my parent's shoulder as they would never choose the wrong person for me. But I, in another way, doubted that they wanted it since my teenage. Just some gossiping flied around me. I was not sure. I never asked them about it. Like, if they wanted it, I would make myself fully prepared for it. But the timing wasn't perfect. I was injured, I missed the World Cup, I still hadn't come back properly, still couldn't manage everything. But they were like on a dancing floor. I didn't take the feedback. I asked for some time. Maybe two years more. But they shouted over me. They wanted it more than anything else. I don't know, I was just frustrated. I was taking everything normally, but not this. The date. The excitement. They didn't listen to mine. I didn't give more feedback. They just kept doing it. And I kept seeing it.

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